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Thread: Rejection of Formerly-held Fi Values

  1. #21
    Away with the fairies Array Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
    4w5 so/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    I like to try out a variety of ideas, lifestyles, and mentalities on for size--it's a way to 'test' principles. The good ones get solidified, refined, and confirmed; the 'bad' ones get ditched. Often, the details of a belief get cast aside, but the core remains.

    For example, a person may have identified with some particular political movement at some point in time and espoused its virtues. Over time, he was attracted to another political movement that had seemingly opposing ideals. This could very well be because he valued one particular general principle (e.g. freedom of personal choice and liberty) all along, but life experience taught him to refine the nuances and assumptions that he'd attached to that core value--and, as such, he found the same ideal better incorporated in a different political movement.
    ^ This

    I believe I only had major shifts when I was more immature. Back then I was more prone to bias and was more reactionary. I also learned the importance of informing myself properly on a particular issue, especially if reflection alone couldn't give me sufficient answers.

    I remember having some big swings in my opinions towards the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in my late teens to early 20s. Then a few things made me feel I should learn more about it. I ended up reading about a dozen books on it and realised how stupid my previous judgements were once I saw the complexities of the issues/history involved. Still, my values hadn't really changed much (even in the big shifts), it was just how I applied them.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  2. #22
    Senior Member Array Chiharu's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    7w6 sx/so
    ENFp None


    My Fi values definitely change with experience and further contemplation. I like to think that this a good thing rather than weakness.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  3. #23
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® Array AgentF's Avatar
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    Dec 2010
    7w6 sx/so


    my values are based on my grasp of reality: what is discovered or revealed or (yes) imagined. i seek out experiences, art and people who help lead me to these things. since that landscape is always shifting, the thought of having static ideals seems counterintuitive.

    the only constant is my hunger for a deeper understanding of what is true. and that is something i pursue relentlessly in my thoughts, words and actions. the latter being the only externally-visible emblems of my values.

    i believe that values should evolve along with the people reflecting them. this is a highly extensible truth that should not be confined to an individual, or to an era.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great

    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦


  4. #24
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2008


    Rejection of formerly held values ,- for me it's very rare that I reject values. I just keep adding on more values. There is a special someone I hold to who will never be rejected or abandoned and will always be a big part of my Fi values and that will never change.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Array TenebrousReflection's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    4w5 sx/sp


    I don't know if it falls into the category of rejecting an Fi value, but I occasionally feel very bitter when I feel that society or a bureaucracy is punishing me for "doing what I think is right". Most of the time my reaction is something along the lines of "fine, if thats how you are going to "reward" being ethical/honest, then I'll think twice next time" (of course thats easier said than done and more often than not, I'll do what I think is right even when I think life is going to screw me for it).

    When I was much younger, I reached the conclusion that beliefs I had grown up with and followed blindly were contributing directly to my unhappinessss, and I re-evaluated my beliefs on those things (this is the point where I made the transition from "logical libertarian objectivist" to "thinking wiht my heart liberal" and accepting the "F" within me... But I don't think the values I was living with before that point were Fi values, so that probably does not apply either...

    Loyalty is an example of an Fi value I have that is hard to resist, but I question the value of it and feel I sometimes need to refine that value (ie, keeping it for friends, but no longer applying it to employers or other organizations - applying it on an individual basis, but necessarily to the organization that the individual is part of)
    (keys2cognition) Fi (47.6), Ne (36.8), Fe (36.8), Si (31.6), Ti (29.7), Ni (27.4), Te (17.2) Se (12.5) - subject to change - last updated 11JAN2012
    * Making consicious effort to improve my Fe...
    My Johari window
    My Nohari window

  6. #26
    meinmeinmein! Array mmhmm's Avatar
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    Jul 2010


    in terms of growing pains + hindsight,
    in some instances i wish i was more
    effective at getting over myself. and
    in other instances i wish i cared a bit
    more to bother to stand my ground
    instead about bitching about it later.

    common ground seems to be that i
    always have to do it the long way

    i forgot what the question was
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  7. #27
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2011
    2 so/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by AgentF View Post
    a deeper understanding of what is true.
    What is true?

  8. #28
    Senior Member Array Wolfie's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
    4w5 so


    Due to my Fi causing me pain, I began rejecting my Fi altogether. I think that's why I thought I was NT at first. Right now, I'm trying to nurture my Fi back to health. I think a big part of this process for me is figuring out how to adjust my Fi values so as to not be eternally opposed to other people.
    ( . )( . )

  9. #29


    They've shifted greatly over the years but on an emotional level they've maintained pitfalls. The tendency seems to be that I jump from one standard to the next once my livelihood is felt to be compromised. However, I've recently overturned that whole marry go round game by changing my attitude on life itself. My life has value because it depends on nobody else to sustain it. Every shift was due to an existential guess that depended entirely too much on the answers of others. This sounds like a very anti-Fi take on things, but it isn't. The more impetus Fi demands to retain a value, the more it devalues that object. The trick is not to demand and force the process, but to allow yourself be an instrument for a greater reality than yourself. People have value, but as long as they are seen as an existential answer, you may as well be using them. And of course it's up to them whether they even care about your righteousness or not.

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