User Tag List

Results 1 to 10 of 10

  1. #1
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default An INFP Dilemma of Sorts

    I have been thinking about a few things lately. One of which is how I make judgement calls. I don't commit very easily, but once I do, it's like I have a death grip on the idea. When new information comes to light, at the best I begrudgingly realize my error, and at the worst, I simply ignore these new facts.

    The end result is that I am starting to question how I can ever be really sure of anything if my innermost feelings are incorrect. It's becoming a logistical cerebral nightmare in my head.

    So I guess I am making this thread to see what ideas are out there, especially from other INFPs. Do you have the same issue as me? If you do, what do you do about it?

    And any other types are welcome to place their input here as well. I am curious for all sides to this.


  2. #2
    RDF
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I have been thinking about a few things lately. One of which is how I make judgement calls. I don't commit very easily, but once I do, it's like I have a death grip on the idea. When new information comes to light, at the best I begrudgingly realize my error, and at the worst, I simply ignore these new facts.

    The end result is that I am starting to question how I can ever be really sure of anything if my innermost feelings are incorrect. It's becoming a logistical cerebral nightmare in my head.

    So I guess I am making this thread to see what ideas are out there, especially from other INFPs. Do you have the same issue as me? If you do, what do you do about it?

    And any other types are welcome to place their input here as well. I am curious for all sides to this.


    Short answer: I don’t trust my Fi any further than I can throw it.

    Long answer: I always remind myself that there are 16 ways to do anything (based on the 16 MBTI types), and they are all correct. So I remind myself that my Fi judgement calls are just my personal preference, and not necessarily the best or most right answer.

    Furthermore, I tend to view my strong personal (Fi) preferences as kind of limiting me. So I try to make it a habit to do one new thing every day. Sometimes it’s taking a new road to see where it goes; sometimes it’s trying a new store or restaurant instead of my usual favorites; if someone tries to convince me to do things a new way, then I try to oblige them.

    Fi is fine for petty, day-to-day decision-making. But on the big issues in life, it can fall behind if I don’t challenge it with new realities and options gleaned from the outside world. So I view my Fi judgements with a jaundiced eye and adopt a bias toward trying out any new approach that I see others using, just to see whether a new approach might be better.

  3. #3
    NPcomplete
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I have been thinking about a few things lately. One of which is how I make judgement calls. I don't commit very easily, but once I do, it's like I have a death grip on the idea. When new information comes to light, at the best I begrudgingly realize my error, and at the worst, I simply ignore these new facts.
    I can't commit very easily either. If it's something really important, I feel compelled to examine all sides, sometimes over and over again (the expression ad nauseam comes to mind) before deciding. Once I've made up my mind though, I usually feel bound by my decision and will stand by it, unless I discover that I was incorrect in the first place. The decision change is usually accompanied by some internal resistance but if it has to be done, then there's no way around it.

    If it's something relatively banal, I won't invest as much energy in it and will most likely not make as binding as decision (if a decision is even made).

    The end result is that I am starting to question how I can ever be really sure of anything if my innermost feelings are incorrect. It's becoming a logistical cerebral nightmare in my head.

    So I guess I am making this thread to see what ideas are out there, especially from other INFPs. Do you have the same issue as me? If you do, what do you do about it?

    And any other types are welcome to place their input here as well. I am curious for all sides to this.

    I do relate to your dilemma but I'm not exactly sure what I do about it. I am usually quite uncomfortable with making decisions based only on feelings so maybe I kid myself with a mixture of non-feelery facts and feelery ones?

  4. #4
    yap yap yap xenaprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    MBTI
    infp
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    663

    Default

    hm...I'm sure not ALL your innermost feelings are incorrect? Just one or two?
    so why throw everything out?

    I'd have to think about this question in terms of myself. Not that I'm never ever wrong...but nothing comes to mind where I've been really shocked by something. This is more about my boring life than my Fi!

  5. #5
    Yup
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    Istj
    Posts
    1,514

    Default

    really sounds exhausting being an infp
    "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "
    -Bruce Lee

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    358

    Default

    An interesting read (not sure if you saw already): http://www.personalitynation.com/inf...ent-101-a.html

    The tone is harsh and raw, but much of what he said is true and seems to be based off of his own experiences. It's not sugar-coated, which I like.

  7. #7
    RDF
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    An interesting read (not sure if you saw already): http://www.personalitynation.com/inf...ent-101-a.html

    The tone is harsh and raw, but much of what he said is true and seems to be based off of his own experiences. It's not sugar-coated, which I like.
    Seems like a pretty good post. The author (Darth Jiggles) looks at three phenomenon to explain how INFPs work:

    1) In the “Socializing” section he shows how development of Ne will make socializing easier;

    2) In the section on Dominant-Tertiary loops, he explains how INFPs get defensive when criticized, “crawl into their shells,” reject advice or criticism, and even go to the extreme of regarding anyone providing advice or criticism as hostile. To address this problem he basically advises the INFP to reject his/her Fi impulses outright and seek alternative input from Ne and Te.

    3) In section on “Passive Te Usage,” he explains how INFPs may be fully aware of a pragmatic way to handle an issue using traditional Te means, but they reject it in order to take a stand on an Fi value. The author’s point is that when this sort of thing is overdone, it’s obstructionist and infantile. Developing a stronger Te would lead to better balance and a more mature approach at such times.

    Presumably the second section on Fi-Si Loops is the one that is most directly applicable to the OP. Though the third section could apply, depending on the context.

    As for me, I’ve certainly seen all the above happen both in myself and in other INFPs. Darth Jiggles’s post is as good an exposition of how INFPs work as any. I was thinking of pretty much these things (especially the second and third sections) when I said that I don’t trust my Fi any farther than I can throw it.

    I don’t think that Fi is fatally flawed by nature; it’s just a judgement function like all the rest (Fe, Te, and Ti). The question is whether Ne and Te are developed enough to create a good balance of all the functions. Ne and Te aren’t just alternative ways to look at the world; they are also supposed to subject Fi to reality checks and revise it and update it as needed. So that was the gist of my own post: That I try to give Ne and Te a good workout for their own sake, as well as keep my Fi updated with new info and options brought in from the outside world by Ne and Te.

    Overall, a good read. Thanks for linking it, Loki.

  8. #8
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I have been thinking about a few things lately. One of which is how I make judgement calls. I don't commit very easily, but once I do, it's like I have a death grip on the idea. When new information comes to light, at the best I begrudgingly realize my error, and at the worst, I simply ignore these new facts.

    The end result is that I am starting to question how I can ever be really sure of anything if my innermost feelings are incorrect. It's becoming a logistical cerebral nightmare in my head.
    Interested in an example if you are open to sharing one.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  9. #9
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Interested in an example if you are open to sharing one.
    Life is super busy right now, but I will post one later.

  10. #10
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Life is super busy right now, but I will post one later.
    kk this cute little bunny is all ears upon your return:

    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] An INFP's Dilemma or Just Mine?
    By Meursault in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 05-23-2016, 03:30 PM
  2. An INFP in the UK by way of SoCal
    By Lindy Lou in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-13-2009, 01:36 PM
  3. an INFP getting the hang of things...
    By eternal_learner in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 10-28-2009, 05:35 PM
  4. Portrait of an INFP: Making fun of that other new guy.
    By sleep in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-25-2008, 12:02 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO