[ENFP] ENFP Mirroring & Chameleon Behavior

[disco]

I've seen most people post about chameleon behavior with respect to INFJ and ENFJ, but I definitely feel like I engage in this act as an ENFP. The concern for being liked and wanting to establish an intimate connection as fast as possible drives me to mirror others, while being hyper-aware of how they perceive me. Sometimes I feel bad about this, like it makes me feel fake or something, even though I see myself as the most genuine person ever. I end up thinking, man, I should really stop doing that because someone might think I'm not being myself, but it IS me being myself... I just like to be on their level, whatever that is. It's fun and interesting!

Thoughts?

 

[Owlesque]

I occasionally got this vibe from an ENFP I used to hang out with, who could easily go from spontaneous and super fast-paced one minute to a lot more deliberate and contemplative when he slowed down to match my activity level.

 

[chickpea]

i've noticed this with a couple enfp friends of mine, that they'll try to be more like whatever person or social group they're around. like my old roommate started dating this new guy, and out of nowhere started talking like she was from the hood to fit in with them. and then it went away when they broke up a month later. i'm always hyper-conscious of being true to myself and not trying too hard, so i get a little second-hand embarrassment watching that kind of thing because it seems so fake to me.

 

[cfs1992]

Well, I have something that may seem like a chameleon behavior, but I don't feel guilty, fake, or anything. The thing is: depending on who I'm talking, or the group I'm in, I make different sides of my personality emerge, but all I show is some part of me that I can hide or show depending of my interlocutor. For example: if I'm talking to older people, I show some side of my personality that will adapt better to their lifestyle, the same happens with all groups of people of different lifestyles, ages, gender etc.

 

[Tyrinth]

The thing is: depending on who I'm talking, or the group I'm in, I make different sides of my personality emerge, but all I show is some part of me that I can hide or show depending of my interlocutor. For example: if I'm talking to older people, I show some side of my personality that will adapt better to their lifestyle, the same happens with all groups of people of different lifestyles, ages, gender etc.

INFP here, and this. I don't know how much there really is in common between INFP and ENFP, but I do this all the time.

 

[Lady_X]

Well, I have something that may seem like a chameleon behavior, but I don't feel guilty, fake, or anything. The thing is: depending on who I'm talking, or the group I'm in, I make different sides of my personality emerge, but all I show is some part of me that I can hide or show depending of my interlocutor. For example: if I'm talking to older people, I show some side of my personality that will adapt better to their lifestyle, the same happens with all groups of people of different lifestyles, ages, gender etc.

Me too totally... It's a good thing to have when you work with people I think.

Putting on accents or whatever is ridiculous tho. I never change how I talk or say anything that's not genuine. I just have always had very diverse friends and interests so there really is just a multitude of ways that I can connect with people.

 

[Forever_Jung]

I am a Ne-heavy INFP, so I feel like I'm "close enough" to weigh in. Plus one of my best pals is an ENFP.

When I interact with old ladies, I find myself uttering something like: "It's hard to find a good lemon bread these days!". I sort of feel like a sham when I mirror, but at the same time I feel pretty anchored by Fi. Fi is the bindings, and Ne is the snowboard.

My ENFP friend has a ton of diverse friends. She has shut-in nerdy friends (like me) and she has friends who are on hard drugs and basically never sleep. She hangs out with aging hippy professors, and ditzy fashionistas. She's very adaptable, and relates to people on their own terms. The only social circumstance she can't adapt to is solitude.

I find NFP's sort of take people as they are, so maybe that's why. I find our use of Ne-Fi/Fi-Ne enables us to easily mimic/build a persona on the fly. ENFP's, in particular, are amazing reactors.

 

[cfs1992]

Me too totally... It's a good thing to have when you work with people I think.

Putting on accents or whatever is ridiculous tho. I never change how I talk or say anything that's not genuine. I just have always had very diverse friends and interests so there really is just a multitude of ways that I can connect with people.

Exactly!

 

[Lady_X]

Omg I love you! Hahahaha!! Can't find a good lemon bread eh? Hahaha

 

[disco]

depending on who I'm talking, or the group I'm in, I make different sides of my personality emerge, but all I show is some part of me that I can hide or show depending of my interlocutor.

Exactly...yeah, I think this is more what I meant...hence why it doesn't feel disingenuous to me, even though I worry that it may be perceived that way.

 

[Santosha]

I can totally relate to OP. It was stronger when I was younger as well.. teens to mid-twenties. I've noticed that these last few years I am not as likely to bend my own style and it may be that developing Fi. I even had a few embarassing occasions of slightly mirroring accents and speech impediments, unconsciously. I also relate to feeling inauthentic, even though I know its not. It was the worst when I was around my INFJ 4w5 friend.. I could just feel her eyes burning into me anytime I'd mirror other people, fear her judgements, then become slightly resentful because I'd limit my natural curiosity and learning style to avoid "appearing inauthentic". Anyway, just know your not alone and even if other mo fo's don't relate - high Ne users likely will. It is NOT inauthentic.. it is simply one of our preferred methods of learning about other people, thus ourselves.

 

[cfs1992]

I see, [MENTION=14503]disco[/MENTION]