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View Poll Results: Do you trust people too much?

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  • It's a TRAP! I don't have to answer this!

    2 11.11%
  • My hunches rarely lead me astray

    6 33.33%
  • Sometimes

    1 5.56%
  • I do tend to err on the side of trust

    5 27.78%
  • I can help a Nigerian Prince? Where do I sign?

    4 22.22%
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  1. #11
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    God, who is this person? Why anyone would waste their time on a such an involved attempt to mock someone is beyond me. Ugh.

    ....Also I wouldn't say feeling shocked and unprepared for someone creating a nasty, fake, Facebook account of you, makes you naive. I really don't think it unrealistic or unreasonable to expect better of people than that.
    Thank you! It just was sooo beyond me that it would even occur to someone to do this, let alone act upon the idea, that I couldn't really be on my guard about it.

    There are some people who choose to risk more and attempt to trust others, even though they know it's not always going to work out for them. However, some look down on those that have a positive view of others; they treat them like they're idiots because they aren't fashionably bitter and jaded.
    Yes, it does seem cool to be jaded these days. It reminds me of this David Foster Wallace quote from Infinite Jest:

    What passes for hip cynical transcendence of sentiment is really some kind of fear of being really human, since to be really human [...] is probably to be unavoidably sentimental and naïve and goo-prone and generally pathetic.
    I don't know about you SK, but I still have a hard time lowering my ironic, cynical defences, but it has been getting easier and easier every year. It feels very adolescent, and I am eager to grow out of it. It’s no way to be happy.

    So I guess what I'm saying is optimism can be a whole lot braver than pessimism - it's more of a gamble but that gamble can pay off much more. And if you prefer to think like this and get it wrong now and then in small ways (and you're not exactly handing out your credit card details), what's the harm?
    I like this, it's a very pragmatic way to view the issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by sprinkles View Post
    I get betrayed not due to optimism - I typically know who is likely to betray me.

    I get betrayed because I find it very hard to judge anyone when I can look at them eye to eye. What I mean by that is I still care and in a sense I end up letting them do what I know they are going to.
    Do you mean you let people take advantage of you? I don’t think I fully understand what you’re saying, sorry. Could you clarify?

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    You must be a phobic 6 if you didn't confront her directly. I would have questioned her more, personally, and made her feel completely uncomfortable until she either admitted she did it or told you who did, and how that person found out.
    Yes, I am 6w5 sp/so phobic. As I began to realize what was going on, I started to feel sick, some blood vessels in my eyes popped, and then I would shake uncontrollably every once in a while. So I didn’t trust myself to act. I just decided to withdraw from the interaction, and wait this out.

    She is currently on her real facebook posting comments next to the fake ones saying things like: Who is this? She then sent me a Facebook message of concern, asking me if I was okay, and how I am reacting to this harassment. It seems like she wants to drink my tears or something, so I ignored her message, and reported the fake account and then I blocked it. But I didn’t block her real account. I don’t want her to know I know, until I decide my course of action.

    I've formed this belief recently that people who believe they deserve good things attract good things - like even if they don't "deserve" it, they believe they deserve good things, so it manifests. Similar to the way that people who act as if they deserve to be kicked (even though they don't) get kicked again; it's the principle similar to the theory of why some people are molested or raped repeatedly...because they emanate something to other people that says they are a victim.

    So, no, not everyone gets the so-called karma they might so richly deserve, even though they're lower than dog shit, because they believe they deserve good, so other people agree with them.
    Yes, this holds water for me. It’s like when a violent drug dealer wins the lottery, or that conscienceless, pathological liar becomes a huge success.

    The key to dealing with these kinds of people is to create the experiences for them that they've created for others. Or to find their weak insecure points and drill on them like a dentist with a very tiny instrument, for hours and hours.
    That's what you have to go for. You either have to create an experience for them that is so scary or annoying that it dawns on them that this is a mirror image of what they did to someone else; or you have to find out what really is weak in them and keep poking at it with a stick.
    It's the cruelest thing in the world, and I wish I could do it to the OP's ex, I wish I knew enough about her ...because essentially she's attacked his most vulnerable point, and she deserves to either have a mirroring experience or be attacked publicly and socially in her own weakest point.
    This interests me greatly, can you give me examples? I don’t think I know how to go about this.

    I think I am capable of socially ruining her (we have a lot of mutual friends), but I’m not sure about the execution.

    Morally, I am also unsure as whether I should “turn the other cheek” or “give ‘em a taste of their own medicine!”. I know I want to carry out some “manual karma” as minutegovt put it, I’m just not sure if I should act upon such impulses.

    At any rate, I really appreciated your vitriol

  2. #12
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Aww sweetness that sucks and yes i can relate. I happen to be in an awful position right now due to trusting too much and thinking too highly of other people. Too nice too naive

    It's horribly sad to realize people could betray you so easily.

    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison
    Likes Noon liked this post

  3. #13
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    Just remember.

    Revenge is best served cold.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Aww sweetness that sucks and yes i can relate. I happen to be in an awful position right now due to trusting too much and thinking too highly of other people. Too nice too naive

    It's horribly sad to realize people could betray you so easily.

    I sympathize with you about this.

    Re rep: I'm too sweet, actually.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  5. #15
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Facebook is getting to be skank like Myspace got to be.

    I guess it's inevitable with all that idolatry of narcissism and materialism.
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  6. #16
    Senior Member Rex's Avatar
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    Are you sure its her?

    Give her to anon. 4chan.org
    Epic derailment:
    wierd memory work->Tamagochi->tetris->Starcraft2->thugs->Chess->german techno->Love parade->disaster->death..
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1wH2...eature=related

  7. #17
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I don't think I trust people too much, no.

    I think most of my naivete/idealism as tied to people was pretty much killed when I entered junior high in 7th grade.

    If anything, it's been a move towards more balance and less fear of people throughout my 20's and into my 30's ..... bringing back a little more of the idealism that I lost when I was quite young.

    I also don't really put up with much 'crap' from people...so, basically I'm no ones doormat at this point in life, and I am ok pushing back and bringing up concerns. Probably tied to this is that I don't have any 'toxic' people in my life, and am always seeking out mutually beneficial relationships - so I don't know that I have had any toxic people in my life for a number of years. I remove them from my life if I ever see it going that way.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  8. #18
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    Do you mean you let people take advantage of you? I don’t think I fully understand what you’re saying, sorry. Could you clarify?
    Well only certain people, not just anyone.

    I do try to avoid it and it can be hard to build trust because of it, but some times I just say "to heck with it, I like this person and I dunno why" and it happens.

    When I let someone be be a fixture in my life I just accept how they are I guess, since I chose to have them continue to be there.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    This interests me greatly, can you give me examples? I don’t think I know how to go about this.
    I don't know but typically I watch people and observe them and see what their strong and weak points are. It's good to know people's weaknesses, usually for benevolent reasons such as tip-toeing around it, or helping them out, but it's also exceedingly important ammunition to have against people who harm you.

    I don't even know how to explain to you to do it. My first "victim" was my grandfather's ESTJ wife, who was horrendously verbally abusive, I mean this woman abused my mother, my uncle, eventually my grandfather...and of course, me. At thirteen I began fucking with her mentally. I knew Sue went through all my things, so in my school notebook I wrote "Kill Sue" on the front page in the 8th or 9th grade. Directly before or after that, I pretended to be dead on the floor of my bedroom, and when she kept saying my name, I was unresponsive and scared the crap out of her, allowing her to believe for a full three minutes that I had OD'd or drank Draino. When I was an adult, I humiliated her in front of relatives, and one morning, pretended to be insane, so that she started chasing me around the house with a broom. When I was 25, I randomly woke her up at 4 AM by calling her and screaming at her. I haven't spoken to her since my grandfather died. If there was any member of my family brave enough to fuck with this psychopathic, disgusting, selfish, horrendous individual...it was me. I am the only person I know of, besides one of my cousins saying "you can't tell me what to do, you aren't my mom" when she was 12, and my mom kicking in her door and calling her a bitch when I was 8, who was brave enough to consistentely fuck with this woman. I hate this woman with all of my soul, if there's anyone I hate in the world, it's Sue, and I hate her for my entire family.

    Later I learned that I had an incredible ability to do similar things to other cruel people, to slice and dice them verbally, to find their weak points and attack them, my ESFJ ex is an abusive person, like physically scary, and he said I absolutely floored and impressed him with my ability to cut him verbally.

    You have to have a knack for watching people and manipulating their weakness. I don't take this lightly, I am a moral individual, I don't believe in harming most people, in fact some people have accused me of being OVERLY NICE IRL, but I will pull this shit out of my back pocket whenever it's necessary and go to town.

    I have very few qualms about doing it on the Internet, obviously.

    I think I am capable of socially ruining her (we have a lot of mutual friends), but I’m not sure about the execution.
    Fantastic. Find her weak points. Murmur rumors, humiliate her at parties, email everyone and tell them something horrible. You can do it slowly, a little at a time, the important part is that it torments her, not that it causes a huge scene.

    Morally, I am also unsure as whether I should “turn the other cheek” or “give ‘em a taste of their own medicine!”. I know I want to carry out some “manual karma” as minutegovt put it, I’m just not sure if I should act upon such impulses.

    At any rate, I really appreciated your vitriol
    I can't stand when people abuse people. I cannot stand when anyone attacks the innocent, it enrages me.

    Morally, I think you should seek revenge, to keep her from doing it to others. To turn the other cheek would be allow this woman to continue on her merry way, thinking she can mock people this way and get away with it, she may go through life attacking people whom she perceives as socially weaker than her just for the fun of it if you don't teach her not to.

    Of course, there's the possibility she's so far gone, it won't help. But if she's still human at all, you can get to her, especially if you pull her apart socially.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    I don't know but typically I watch people and observe them and see what their strong and weak points are. It's good to know people's weaknesses, usually for benevolent reasons such as tip-toeing around it, or helping them out, but it's also exceedingly important ammunition to have against people who harm you.

    I don't even know how to explain to you to do it. My first "victim" was my grandfather's ESTJ wife, who was horrendously verbally abusive, I mean this woman abused my mother, my uncle, eventually my grandfather...and of course, me. At thirteen I began fucking with her mentally. I knew Sue went through all my things, so in my school notebook I wrote "Kill Sue" on the front page in the 8th or 9th grade. Directly before or after that, I pretended to be dead on the floor of my bedroom, and when she kept saying my name, I was unresponsive and scared the crap out of her, allowing her to believe for a full three minutes that I had OD'd or drank Draino. When I was an adult, I humiliated her in front of relatives, and one morning, pretended to be insane, so that she started chasing me around the house with a broom. When I was 25, I randomly woke her up at 4 AM by calling her and screaming at her. I haven't spoken to her since my grandfather died. If there was any member of my family brave enough to fuck with this psychopathic, disgusting, selfish, horrendous individual...it was me. I am the only person I know of, besides one of my cousins saying "you can't tell me what to do, you aren't my mom" when she was 12, and my mom kicking in her door and calling her a bitch when I was 8, who was brave enough to consistentely fuck with this woman. I hate this woman with all of my soul, if there's anyone I hate in the world, it's Sue, and I hate her for my entire family.

    Later I learned that I had an incredible ability to do similar things to other cruel people, to slice and dice them verbally, to find their weak points and attack them, my ESFJ ex is an abusive person, like physically scary, and he said I absolutely floored and impressed him with my ability to cut him verbally.

    You have to have a knack for watching people and manipulating their weakness. I don't take this lightly, I am a moral individual, I don't believe in harming most people, in fact some people have accused me of being OVERLY NICE IRL, but I will pull this shit out of my back pocket whenever it's necessary and go to town.

    I have very few qualms about doing it on the Internet, obviously.



    Fantastic. Find her weak points. Murmur rumors, humiliate her at parties, email everyone and tell them something horrible. You can do it slowly, a little at a time, the important part is that it torments her, not that it causes a huge scene.



    I can't stand when people abuse people. I cannot stand when anyone attacks the innocent, it enrages me.

    Morally, I think you should seek revenge, to keep her from doing it to others. To turn the other cheek would be allow this woman to continue on her merry way, thinking she can mock people this way and get away with it, she may go through life attacking people whom she perceives as socially weaker than her just for the fun of it if you don't teach her not to.

    Of course, there's the possibility she's so far gone, it won't help. But if she's still human at all, you can get to her, especially if you pull her apart socially.
    You know what, I want to take the part back about still hating that person. I don't even hate her anymore, I simply got away from her. I think I was speaking from the perspective of why I was motivated to do these things in the first place. This woman did horrible, horrible things to multiple people, but it would be a waste of my energy to even feel hardly anything toward her anymore.

    Forgiveness is important for your own sake, so you don't go around being angry or holding on to hate, and I realized that after I wrote those words they had just become historic facts, that I no longer have much feeling attached to them. And that's healthier than hanging on.

    That's what turning the other cheek is about, it's about not wasting your life energy, not dwelling in negativity.

    But I still believe some people need to be taught a lesson, that "turning the other cheek" before taking action is simply being a doormat or even enabling that person's evil behavior. I mean I don't turn the other cheek when someone rapes the five year old next door, I'm not sure why it's more sensible for me to do so if they abuse another adult in a cruel way.

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