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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Numerically or compatibility wise?
    I actually believe in the compatibility factor, at this point: my INFJ lady and I are very, very close and have been for a long time now.

    But we haven't taken the next step --- and I believe it's because we are both heavily Apollonian, all about being the "fireworks" person in the couple --- but since we both have that mindset, the literature tells us we should expect a long friendship before any trace of passion emerges. This is the classic pattern, anyway. Sure enough, lots of deep affection and connection, but no passion yet ...

  2. #92
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchAngel View Post
    I actually believe in the compatibility factor, at this point: my INFJ lady and I are very, very close and have been for a long time now.

    But we haven't taken the next step --- and I believe it's because we are both heavily Apollonian, all about being the "fireworks" person in the couple --- but since we both have that mindset, the literature tells us we should expect a long friendship before any trace of passion emerges. This is the classic pattern, anyway. Sure enough, lots of deep affection and connection, but no passion yet ...
    Right. This is the problem. INFJ are inert like Noble gases. They need something to catalyze their passions into a more volatile mixture.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Yeah, so how does that work out?

    For me, not so much.

    Something about being assessed as a possible suitable mate makes the whole experience incredibly unpleasant. How does an INFJ not obsess about their faults and insecurities? It's made even more unnerving by the fact that you are also suppose to be, in one way or another, assessing someone to be a suitable mate. I feel pretty bad when I begin spotting a person's flaws, or when I realize that I'm more flawed than them and thus come to the conclusion that I'm inherently unworthy.

    Fantasy is so much better than reality when it comes to romance.
    OMNi, I'm deathly afraid of rejection, so I really don't date. I feel so rejected in the real world, the last thing I need in my life is for someone to come in and know me and love me, then reject me too. I said that I would make more of an effort this year to date "like normal people" but I have no idea where to begin. There are just too many unusual things about me to market on an internet dating site. I think most men would find me disturbing. In real life, some men are intrigued with me, but see me as a liability, therefore undateable. My biggest problem is that I'm consumed by infatuations which have lasted as long as most relationships. When I think about actually dating in real life, I'm already exhausted at the thought. I'm constantly at war with reality. Even when I get the sense that a real life guy may like me and I'm attracted to him too, I prefer the version of him in my head to the real guy. Isn't that effed up? I think I've frustrated any potential suitors in my life and have been very depressed when they went away. My romantic life has been a complete disaster so far and I have no idea how to correct it.

  4. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by felt up View Post
    OMNi, I'm deathly afraid of rejection, so I really don't date. I feel so rejected in the real world, the last thing I need in my life is for someone to come in and know me and love me, then reject me too. I said that I would make more of an effort this year to date "like normal people" but I have no idea where to begin. There are just too many unusual things about me to market on an internet dating site. I think most men would find me disturbing. In real life, some men are intrigued with me, but see me as a liability, therefore undateable. My biggest problem is that I'm consumed by infatuations which have lasted as long as most relationships. When I think about actually dating in real life, I'm already exhausted at the thought. I'm constantly at war with reality. Even when I get the sense that a real life guy may like me and I'm attracted to him too, I prefer the version of him in my head to the real guy. Isn't that effed up? I think I've frustrated any potential suitors in my life and have been very depressed when they went away. My romantic life has been a complete disaster so far and I have no idea how to correct it.
    Number one, you don't seem disturbing, you just seem to think a lot. Why do you think men see you as a liability?

    Maybe you should just try to get to know men rather than think about it as dating. Spend some time developing friendship and closeness then worry about 'dating' or whatever. Let things happen instead of focusing on it.

    You're in your head. Find someone who puzzles you. Find someone who does not live in their head as much. Also, you seem to like aloof men since you do not like handling the expectations involved when someone wants something from you emotionally.

    Try to open up a little more even while you maintain your boundaries. There are a lot of cool guys on here I'm sure you could get to know better. Post a photo in your profile, stay engaged, and see what happens.

    Also, I must stay on message: Get an ENTP.

    /obligatory message from The ENTP Council for Public Relations
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Number one, you don't seem disturbing, you just seem to think a lot. Why do you think men see you as a liability?

    Maybe you should just try to get to know men rather than think about it as dating. Spend some time developing friendship and closeness then worry about 'dating' or whatever. Let things happen instead of focusing on it.

    You're in your head. Find someone who puzzles you. Find someone who does not live in their head as much. Also, you seem to like aloof men since you do not like handling the expectations involved when someone wants something from you emotionally.

    Try to open up a little more even while you maintain your boundaries. There are a lot of cool guys on here I'm sure you could get to know better. Post a photo in your profile, stay engaged, and see what happens.

    Also, I must stay on message: Get an ENTP.

    /obligatory message from The ENTP Council for Public Relations
    Synarch you crack me up! Lobbying on behalf of ENTPs. I still feel hopeless though. I may get around to doing the internet dating thing. Who knows?

  6. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by felt up View Post
    Synarch you crack me up! Lobbying on behalf of ENTPs. I still feel hopeless though. I may get around to doing the internet dating thing. Who knows?
    Camwhore it up here and get your feet wet. At least you'll know the type of the people you talk to. Yes, I feel compelled to represent / promote whatever groups and tribes I associate myself with. Although, I like all the N types, really, mostly INFJ, ENTP, INTJ, INTP, ENFJ, INFP in that order. Don't really care for ENTJs, except as minions. Too boring.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Also, I must stay on message: Get an ENTP.

    /obligatory message from The ENTP Council for Public Relations



    Really, why INFJs? I understand the anchor... but I learn more towards the socionics top 4....
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post


    Really, why INFJs? I understand the anchor... but I learn more towards the socionics top 4....
    They are ENTPs turned outside in or ENTPs are INFJ turned inside out. Whatever it is, it's nice. Have you ever dealt with a male INFJ? There are a few on here in Houston.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    They are ENTPs turned outside in or ENTPs are INFJ turned inside out. Whatever it is, it's nice. Have you ever dealt with a male INFJ? There are a few on here in Houston.
    Yes, I've dealt with a few male INFJs. But it's that supervision vibe more than anything... it's something weird. It's like they want to correct you...
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post
    Yes, I've dealt with a few male INFJs. But it's that supervision vibe more than anything... it's something weird. It's like they want to correct you...
    Do you mean the Socionics intertype relationship of supervision?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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