User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 20

  1. #1
    A_priori
    Guest

    Default INFJs and Neurosis

    Hey guys I am brand new here and was wondering if other INFJs feel like they may come off a little neurotic. A lot of people I know who are higher functioning neurotics tend to be FJs and I think this trait may be a little more intrinsic for the FJ over other personality types. The reason I feel this was is because of some observations I have made in the feild that I work in ect.. I also have finally come to except and understand that I can be a little on the neurotic side myself. It's almost as if I feel like I don't regulate my emotions as well as others and being an FE my FI friends seem to pick it up on me the easiest. I have an almost impossible time trying to hide how I feel and wish that I wasn't such a self preservationist. It would seem that relationships are a real oxymoron in my life as I really enjoy being around others but just want to be left alone. I feel like I am overly complicated and sometimes just want to be off gaurd and shut off my NI for a little while. Everything that I do and all that I am is completely independent of what the rest of the world seems to be doing, which I love to feed but feel like its maybe unhealthy in some ways. Everything is complicated in my life especially being a guy. I feel a lot of other peoples emotions and just want to help and understand others. When I took the MBTI and my results came back INFJ I wasn't the slightest bit surprised. Anyways, I realize I am getting off the topic of neurosis but the reading on this thread is really between the lines. I was reciently reading this book by jeffrey a kottler who is a therapist and a professer in the department of councelling at California state university who I believe to be without a doubt INFJ as well. I believe he talks about neurosis being quite common with this sort of personality type, including himself. How do you other FJs feel you are in terms of emotional stability and how do you think this might also relate to the enneagram?

    Nice to meet you all =)

  2. #2
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by A_priori View Post
    Hey guys I am brand new here and was wondering if other INFJs feel like they may come off a little neurotic. A lot of people I know who are higher functioning neurotics tend to be FJs and I think this trait may be a little more intrinsic for the FJ over other personality types. The reason I feel this was is because of some observations I have made in the feild that I work in ect.. I also have finally come to except and understand that I can be a little on the neurotic side myself. It's almost as if I feel like I don't regulate my emotions as well as others and being an FE my FI friends seem to pick it up on me the easiest. I have an almost impossible time trying to hide how I feel and wish that I wasn't such a self preservationist. It would seem that relationships are a real oxymoron in my life as I really enjoy being around others but just want to be left alone. I feel like I am overly complicated and sometimes just want to be off gaurd and shut off my NI for a little while. Everything that I do and all that I am is completely independent of what the rest of the world seems to be doing, which I love to feed but feel like its maybe unhealthy in some ways. Everything is complicated in my life especially being a guy. I feel a lot of other peoples emotions and just want to help and understand others. When I took the MBTI and my results came back INFJ I wasn't the slightest bit surprised. Anyways, I realize I am getting off the topic of neurosis but the reading on this thread is really between the lines. I was reciently reading this book by jeffrey a kottler who is a therapist and a professer in the department of councelling at California state university who I believe to be without a doubt INFJ as well. I believe he talks about neurosis being quite common with this sort of personality type, including himself. How do you other FJs feel you are in terms of emotional stability and how do you think this might also relate to the enneagram?

    Nice to meet you all =)
    Yeah, I kind of feel that way, though in a somewhat different way from you, I think. I'm a 6w5 INFJ which is distinctly different from type 4, it seems. I worry about things a lot and over-analyze and that's where the neuroticism comes in...though I think it's fairly low-level but it's still there. People who don't know me quite as well see me as very calm and laid-back...I've been told by so many people that I give off that vibe...so that when they get to know me better and see me being anxious and worrying and phobic and paranoid and over-analytical (not all the time!! some of the time), they are a bit shocked.

    I posted a thread on this forum about feeling "Fe'd out" quite a lot (just tired of being around people and feeling like I have to reach out to them) and someone pointed out that being an Fe aux can be quite difficult in this regard - INFJs are introverts but the Fe makes you feel obliged to reach out. That certainly applies to me, partly by personality and partly by social obligations. Although I'm a pretty outgoing INFJ and often get told "you're a people person, how can you be an introvert?" and stuff like that. I really do need people. One of the most important things in my life is knowing that I have healthy and reliable relationships with at least some other people. I rely so much on that, perhaps too much. It's not that I have to see these people all the time - sometimes I don't see them for quite a while, some of them live in other countries, etc - but I think about them every day and rely quite a lot on the knowledge of their care for me. But although I also enjoy socializing it does tire me, especially when it's people I'm not very close to, or constant small talk or whatever.

    Another reason why I lean a lot on the reliable people in my life (even if it's not obvious that I'm "leaning"...if that makes sense) is because I can sense-check things with them, and they can either say "you're not being paranoid at all, I'd feel the same or even worse" or "I can understand why you feel that way, but realistically, it's not quite that bad because..."
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  3. #3
    A_priori
    Guest

    Default

    Ya, I think what a lot of people may not understand is that neurosis can come out in many differnt behaviors. Most people who know me would never consider me neurotic, mainly because I control myself so well and I am very good at adapting to different situations. I am also quite quiet when I am around people and tend to be a lot more observant. Neurosis can come out in so many differnt forms and the problems that I expereince are more specifically intamicy and over stimulation. Because I am usually off in my own rich world, I am not someone who requires a lot of external stimuli. When it comes to relationships I seem to close myself off. I don't feel like I want to waist my time on people who I don't see myself having a potential meaningful future with. It's a strange thing being an INFJ, I am always looking for meaning and don't often find it. I wish I knew some other INFJs in real life because I would love to sit and chat. I like to see how others behave and not just see text all the time.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFp None
    Posts
    681

    Default

    I know quite a few neurotic INFJs, but i can't say that my own experience is a good basis.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Ribonuke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    MBTI
    esTP
    Enneagram
    845 sp/so
    Socionics
    SLE Ti
    Posts
    257

    Default

    Well, I always worried that I was neurotic, because of the negative connotations associated with it.

    However, after learning that 'neurotic' just means 'more susceptible to negative emotional states such as depression and anxiety', I learned to accept it as a part of myself.

  6. #6
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    I prefer to think of neurosis in Jungian terms. For me, that means basically being in a loop between the dom and tert function. For example, Ni/Ti; extrapolate for other types. So, it is obvious you are introverting too much, which is also reflected in the fact that you seem at least slightly self-absorbed. My recommendation would be to get outside your own head. The easiest way is to just be in the world, either via information, or preferably, physically. Force youself to use some extraverted functions and you might see yourself becoming less neurotic. As you become less neurotic, you will naturally attract others to you.

    When, and if, you attract others to you, I'd not worry so much about all the possible outcomes of that. Just enjoy people's as they come. That is how we find JOY! It's usually when we interact with others in a meaningful way.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  7. #7
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    7,368

    Default

    *chuckle @ OP*
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  8. #8
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,716

    Default

    *raises hand*

    I don't associate psychological/psychiatric issues with MBTI type, per se. Some may appear more prone to certain things, but any type can be neurotic, etc. May be focused on different things, though. Or the same, even.

    And ultimately, does it matter?
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  9. #9
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    *raises hand*

    I don't associate psychological/psychiatric issues with MBTI type, per se. Some may appear more prone to certain things, but any type can be neurotic, etc. May be focused on different things, though. Or the same, even.

    And ultimately, does it matter?
    Do you not like Jungian teaching then? He is all into neurosis.

    Neurosis isn't optimal. So, yes, it matters.

    Doesn't it?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  10. #10
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,716

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Do you not like Jungian teaching then? He is all into neurosis.

    Neurosis isn't optimal. So, yes, it matters.

    Doesn't it?
    I meant, does it actually matter which type seems prone to/more prone to what?
    How much does that perception-based knowledge actually help with resolving said neurosis? How much time should be dedicated to such analysis of various groups versus the individual, things like that. I don't claim to have an answer. Just questions that popped in my mind.

    I wasn't discounting potential use, I was merely asking how useful do others think it is/could be.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] INFJ and Japan
    By hideki in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 06-14-2010, 12:31 AM
  2. [INFJ] INFJs and Single-Mindedness
    By Kiddo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 11-23-2009, 06:39 PM
  3. [INFJ] INFJs and Dating
    By Kiddo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 109
    Last Post: 02-22-2009, 06:42 AM
  4. [INFJ] INFJ and Compliments
    By chippinchunk in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 01-24-2008, 09:20 AM
  5. [INFJ] INFJ and grief
    By tovlo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 12-21-2007, 06:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO