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Thread: ENFP: Darkness

  1. #11
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Interesting... I really like most of the INFJs I talk to on this site but I have neeeeever gotten along with (who I suspect to be) INFJ teachers, minus one 9w1 male when I was in my senior year of college... I've had 3 very similar female teachers who I very much think were INFJ - all petite brunette kinda uptight looking young women - 2 psychology professors and 1 middle school teacher - who always seemed to regard me as a "problem" despite getting high grades... they always treated me with disdain even though I tried to really engage in their classes... never really understood it...
    I have no idea of the type of most of my teachers (haven't thought about it enough, anyway!) but I used to get teachers telling me I looked "bored". That was common. As in, not enough stimulation. Which could be true in some cases, I guess, because quite honestly I was ahead of the rest of the class for a lot of subjects for quite a few years. (It was a good lesson to me when I had to work harder at some stuff instead of just coasting, and when I got a lower mark on my English final than I expected, etc!).

    Really I was more of a teacher's pet more of the time...but I occasionally got into trouble for zoning out, the looking bored thing, or just occasionally being mouthy or excessively sarcastic (now I wonder if that was me having CP 6 moments, though I'm mainly phobic...I'm pretty sure that is still what happens to me sometimes, in other contexts. Just wanting to hit out.) But I wonder if ENFPs might be more inclined to have an expressive aura which some might take as disdain or irritation or trouble-making, even if it's not meant that way at all.
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  2. #12
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    ENFPs can get especially dark and brooding if we are rejected by someone we've formed a strong connection with.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  3. #13
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Really I was more of a teacher's pet more of the time...but I occasionally got into trouble for zoning out, the looking bored thing, or just occasionally being mouthy or excessively sarcastic (now I wonder if that was me having CP 6 moments, though I'm mainly phobic...I'm pretty sure that is still what happens to me sometimes, in other contexts. Just wanting to hit out.)


    But I wonder if ENFPs might be more inclined to have an expressive aura which some might take as disdain or irritation or trouble-making, even if it's not meant that way at all.
    Yes, I think you're right... I ask a bunch of questions - I try not to be THAT kid who is annoying with oblivious questions all the time but I really try to understand the big picture as a whole and ask questions to fill in where I see gaps... the two college professors didn't seem pleased with that... it seemed like they got ticked off with my questions... the thing was, one of them, whom I genuinely just really disliked, had a "pet" student who asked questions all the time, but they were better received. I suspect that girl was ENTP, and maybe the Fe-Ti connection had something to do with it too. She was usually asking questions I found less important, but the prof seemed more interested... it was kind of funny because the professor would get kind of off-topic sometimes, which frustrated me, because she would go really deep into a certain interest of hers, which was interesting but not necessarily the material, and she would get frustrated if the class asked her questions that went back to the original material... I think she was Ni-Fe because she was brilliant at people behavior and just kind of had that Ni aura... but maybe not necessarily the best teacher

  4. #14
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Frequently, though i think this is probably quite healthy, i'd worry more about the ones who think you completely normal.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  5. #15
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    The ENFP 'darkness' is more than just brooding, it can manifest in other ways too. Like desiring things or people that might be 'wrong' to want or even vividly imagining the murder of an EFSJ co-worker in minute detail.

    Or so i'v gathered. The inner world of ENFx's is so fascinating.
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  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Yeah I think it's is the lack of fe. It's just that how we feel shows all over our face and were not capable of changing that to suit someone else. I have very strong urges to drop kick anyone who ever tells me to smile.

    I am naturally a very smiley happy person because that's is my default state but I am no stepford wife I hve an actual life with actual real emotions and things to think about or stress about or worry and sometimes I get pissed off. And I intend to feel exactly how I feel. How rude of anyone to express that your feelings are bothering them.
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  7. #17
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Yeah I think it's is the lack of fe. It's just that how we feel shows all over our face and were not capable of changing that to suit someone else. I have very strong urges to drop kick anyone who ever tells me to smile.

    I am naturally a very smiley happy person because that's is my default state but I am no stepford wife I hve an actual life with actual real emotions and things to think about or stress about or worry and sometimes I get pissed off. And I intend to feel exactly how I feel. How rude of anyone to express that your feelings are bothering them.
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  8. #18
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    I'm naturally buoyant and cheerful. Online someone told me I was hiding great pain (??) but I think it's that I'm secretive about personal info and people can't believe you're a naturally hyphy person and must be compensating for something.

    My optimism is my weapon. There are forces in the world that want you to curl up and die. To that I say, FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!??! IM PLAYING DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION AND PETTING MY FURRY WHITE DOGS AND CHATTING WITH MY BEST FRIEND WHO LOVES ME?!? NEXT IM GONNA BAKE MOTHERFUCKING CHOCOLATE BROWNIES AND SHOVE 'EM DOWN YOIR FUCKING THROAT UNTIL YOU LEARN TO SAY SORRY!?!

    Wow...maybe I'm a little manic.

    Any darkness I have is kept well on the inside far from the prying eyes of people. I deal with it by empowering myself snd attempting positive changes to my external world. I deal eith it through human connection. I have to channel it back into productivity. Otherwise it can swallow me whole. It is a dark and cavernous place. It is an existential struggle. But, I think that is just part of the human condition, no?
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  9. #19
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    ENFPs can get especially dark and brooding if we are rejected by someone we've formed a strong connection with.
    This is so true. I am going to keep this quote. I also think your distrinction with Fi and Fe is dead on. I think I tend to go off alone when emoting becuase I get told I bring other's down and that isn't good.
    I also have never had the thought, "I intend to feel exactly how I feel. How rude of anyone to express that your feelings are bothering them." That rang VERY Fi to me. If anything I agree on being authentic but not to it being put on someone else. possibly an so trait from the enneagram.

    Another thought was that I have a hard time even barely stepping into wrong/darkness/moral shades of gray. So I think that something good I learn from ENFPs is that you can learn from lessons and venture on the dark side and step into is as a home. Doesn't mean that is who you are. That would have NEVER occured to me as my alarms go off the second I get near darkness or over the line even a cm. Not sure what that is, possibly comfortableness with our human nature, enneagram 1 perfectionism, religious conditioning from childhood or just something Iam deciding for myself with age and experince?
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Owlesque's Avatar
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    I dated an ENFP for a short while, and while he was for the most part the traditional spontaneous, passionate and witty social butterfly that complemented my own personality perfectly, there was a serious darkness there - a kind of volatile, often self-deprecating intensity that I only caught glimpses of (at least at first). I do suspect and have reason to believe that he is, at least to some degree, mentally ill, so perhaps mine is a flawed example...

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