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  1. #11
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I do. I prefer not having to deal with crappy feelings that i induced.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #12
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    No, i'm not motivated by it at all. I can be assertive when necessary but that is different.
    So there are variations on what competition is...and circumstances yadda yadda.
    Funny laurie mentioned the boardgame thing as i was always very competitive until i got into a position in which i was dominating all... then i would back down and support the underdog.
    Because of this i would rarely win, i'm a very good loser, it just dosn't bother me.
    But one thing i absolutely detested was when people would brag and flaunt their winning in your face. I would never retaliate or do this in return, i think it annoyed a lot of friends.

    Competition in other senses, i suppose, have affected me more. I like challenges and that could be interpreted as some form of competition.
    I like to take things on that people think i would be incapable of, things that may seem lost causes too. Just to prove to myself that i can i think.
    So maybe that's it... it's more about myself that competing with others.... i don't have anything to prove to others...just myself... yeah that fits.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  3. #13
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenofTroy View Post
    i was always very competitive until i got into a position in which i was dominating all... then i would back down and support the underdog.
    me too!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I have to laugh at this because I feel the complete opposite haha!!! I don't mind big egos so much when there is 'room for everyone' so to speak... But big competitive egos that suck all the air out of the room? No thanks. These kinds of people are decidedly unsexy to me lol.
    lol, i get annoyed by that, but to be honest i usually find outright power struggles kind of funny because both people generally end up making asses of themselves.

    anyway i am not against quietly trying to one-up people when it comes to looking good, doing the best at work, or catching attention from men of interest. i figure it's a fun challenge for me to engage in, with the end result being me trying harder and doing better at whatever i'm already doing. i'm not always very good at self-motivating, but if i use someone else as my yardstick (eg i would like my hair to consistently look as nice as emily's), then it's easier. usually i'll do something like that and will work on individualizing along the way. so i love emily's long wavy thick blonde hair, but that's her, not me - i'm going for long wavy voluminous strawberry blonde instead.

    i'm also definitely a fan of trying to capitalize on my own strong points and encouraging others to capitalize on theirs, rather than fighting over one spot. people are naturally better in different ways, so best to encourage each person to succeed on their own path, the process of which not only helps them but also clears yours for you to shine.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    The fact that others will feel bad about themselves while you feel great when you win, makes me shy away from competitions. The general vibe of disappointment overthrows any potential fun and enjoyment of whatever the reward is. So..its a lose-lose situation for me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I do. I prefer not having to deal with crappy feelings that i induced.
    i agree with this. i don't generally like win-lose games because i have to choose between feeling bad because i lost and feeling bad because the other person lost. if it's someone i really care about, like family or significant other, i'll try to make us come out even. with friends i usually am more competitive and will try hard to win, but i'll also pull myself out of the game if i've won more than once.

  4. #14
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I tend to compete with myself the most....
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  5. #15
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    lol, i get annoyed by that, but to be honest i usually find outright power struggles kind of funny because both people generally end up making asses of themselves.

    anyway i am not against quietly trying to one-up people when it comes to looking good, doing the best at work, or catching attention from men of interest. i figure it's a fun challenge for me to engage in, with the end result being me trying harder and doing better at whatever i'm already doing. i'm not always very good at self-motivating, but if i use someone else as my yardstick (eg i would like my hair to consistently look as nice as emily's), then it's easier. usually i'll do something like that and will work on individualizing along the way. so i love emily's long wavy thick blonde hair, but that's her, not me - i'm going for long wavy voluminous strawberry blonde instead.

    i'm also definitely a fan of trying to capitalize on my own strong points and encouraging others to capitalize on theirs, rather than fighting over one spot. people are naturally better in different ways, so best to encourage each person to succeed on their own path, the process of which not only helps them but also clears yours for you to shine.
    haha...even though I was cracking up at what you said...I know you well enough to know what you meant by it and can understand in that way. And what you describe above...I think you are so right when you say this 'competition' thing is enneagram related. I've always felt like you have a strong connection to 3 and have a very healthy/positive expression of it.

  6. #16
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    It depends. Sometimes I don't like to compete, because there's no point. If I'm best, why participate? Sometimes I like to compete because I can improve myself. If I'm not best, why not participate?

    There's other points I focus on when deciding if I want to compete, however. If the goal of competing is personal or team improvement, sure, but at what expense?

    Basically all of my decisions follow a continuum of constantly evolving principals. While I barely know exactly how the process works, I can generally sum it up as:

    If X causes more good, based on my values, proceed. If X causes more suffering, just don't do it.

    So applying this in the context of competing, if I see more progress in the majority of people that this action would influence by choosing to compete, than regress, I'll do it.

    If I'm not sure, and it seems neutral, I go to personal preference usually based on my current mood.

    Oh but if it's a game of chess, BRING IT!!!

  7. #17
    Senior Member boondocked's Avatar
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    I'm most definitely motivated by competition.

    I see good, healthy competition as the only appropriate outlet I've got for aggression. By which I mean, I have trouble manifesting aggression in any other way because I feel bound by others' perception of me as uniformly sunshiny and sweet. I'm too prone to conform to whatever people want me to be (which, generally, *isn't* a "difficult", combative woman).

    Soooo instead, I've got competitiveness, the socially-sanctioned release! I can let myself feel whatever stormier emotions I've got to feel, and then leave them out there on the field/gameboard/debating floor.

    As long as you aren't underhanded or mean-spirited during competitions, I think it can be a veerrry positive thing . In my case, it both provides release and spurs growth. V. motivating.

    //awesome question, OP, btw

  8. #18
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I'm hoping to get this on a shirt for tomorrow night's game group.



    (taking off the "brotip" part, of course)

  9. #19
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ^ lol!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    haha...even though I was cracking up at what you said...I know you well enough to know what you meant by it and can understand in that way. And what you describe above...I think you are so right when you say this 'competition' thing is enneagram related. I've always felt like you have a strong connection to 3 and have a very healthy/positive expression of it.
    thank you... you are absolutely right about there being a good deal of 3 in me. i think it's been a long road in terms of making it come closer to a healthy connection, and i think i still have plenty of room to grow - not long ago i used to FREAK OUT if anyone saw the messes i desperately tried to keep hidden, or if i was caught without makeup, or if i heard that someone was speaking poorly of me in public. a stable relationship has REALLY helped ease the first two - having someone i look up to and treasure more than anyone accepting my flaws and being affirming has done wonders for my sense of stability - and holding a PR office in an organization (ie basically half the organization was continually PO'd at me for properly enforcing discipline) has helped me have a thicker skin in terms of the second one. i've really had to work hard on learning self-confidence (not self-esteem though, interestingly, and i've noticed this seeming disparity seems to be a common ENFP quirk) and on developing boundaries in terms of how much i need to adjust to meet a situation and how much i can just be - i suspect that's a primary e3 dilemma.

    i wonder if i am not 6w7-3w4-8w9.

  10. #20
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I've heard that ENFP's aren't motivated by competition very much? Is this true?
    it's definitely true for me. I'm only competitive if you piss me off, and then it's in a "die mutha fucka!" sort of way as opposed to a healthy kind of competition.

    Edit: I have nothing against competition. in fact, I see it as a very beneficial personality trait, just one that I lack almost completely
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