User Tag List

First 2101112

Results 111 to 120 of 120

  1. #111
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,647

    Default

    *laughs at bunch of Te users assuming there is an "objective truth" to start with in this specific case which the girl has to face"
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
    A herring's blog
    Johari / Nohari

  2. #112
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    868

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    We all know what happens when people act in haste, or essentially go off half-cocked.
    And nobody wants just half of a cock. So for goodness sake, just let Te and Fi make their beautiful love already.

  3. #113
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    *laughs at bunch of Te users assuming there is an "objective truth" to start with in this specific case which the girl has to face"
    Quote Originally Posted by Mia. View Post
    And nobody likes just half of a cock. So for goodness sake, just let Te and Fi make their beautiful love already.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #114
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    868

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    *laughs at bunch of Te users assuming there is an "objective truth" to start with in this specific case which the girl has to face"

  5. #115
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,162

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    *laughs at bunch of Te users assuming there is an "objective truth" to start with in this specific case which the girl has to face"
    Is Ti trolling on-topic?

  6. #116
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,647

    Default

    Merely giving you something to think about, no intention of trolling. I'll leave the rest to you guys.
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
    A herring's blog
    Johari / Nohari

  7. #117
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,162

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    Merely giving you something to think about, no intention of trolling. I'll leave the rest to you guys.
    All it reveals is your Ti bias.

    Frankly, your post was retarded. Objectively.

  8. #118
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,568

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    *laughs at bunch of Te users assuming there is an "objective truth" to start with in this specific case which the girl has to face"
    There is always an objective truth. It is not always the whole truth, but ignoring it is rarely wise.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #119
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    I think it is important that any Te analysis is truly distanced. Impersonal and NOT HARSH. For me, laying things down visually on paper is pleasing and gets them "away" from me. Or maybe she likes talking things out. And it's important that she maintains a position of power in the analysis. Neutral analysis must be neutral.

    I really think introspection is going to be more important than analysis but maybe Rex can play a very helpful role in terms of helping her take conclusions to reality and to help her stay emotionally balanced when she starts digging in deep. I wouldn't try to structure too much though, she needs to go ALL the way down the Fi rabbit hole and uproot.

  10. #120
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6
    Posts
    100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by animenagai View Post
    What needs to be done is her to realize why she has this emotional barrier and exactly what she's holding onto/afraid of.
    I completely agree that laying out all the facts and then demanding an ENFP take the logical action based on these facts won’t work. I’ve made that mistake. It will only make her dig in more.

    However, what you are describing isn’t an emotional change – having a realization and then making a decision to reach a better outcome is a process of logic. Logic can bring about an emotional change, but I think it’s unlikely to occur here.

    If she makes this 'logical' decision, it will be like you say – at her own pace and will come about faster if you leave her to it. But it’s still a logical process concerning emotions and not an emotional process. What would be changing is her approach, not her feelings or values. Her ideal mate, ideal relationship with him/her and her desire to have them woul not change. What may happen is that she decides her ideals/standards are unrealistic* and that if she holds out for her ideal relationship then she’ll either be alone forever or have unfair expectations from anybody she is with. Even if she does accept this, that incomplete feeling – that feeling that there is something more possible will always be there. Being an ENFP, she’ll probably feel guilty about not being completely happy with her current mate too. She may feel she’s not being fair to them emotionally.

    If she makes the 'logical' choice to lower her standards when selecting a mate, then she's only supressed her emotions not changed them.

    *Even though the most likely scenario is that she decides that her standards are unrealistic, my opinion is that they probably aren’t and that she should keep looking.

    Human Relationship Initiation Process Theory (google it, it’s real) states :

    • Relationships usually take place across a person’s “field of availables.” This is people we come across in our day to day lives. Daily or near daily interaction. (It’s hard to form a connection with somebody you don’t see very often.)
    • We are only attracted to people who meet our standards. Standards include such things as Physical attractiveness, intelligence, maturity, warmth, trustworthiness, economic status, and social status
    • We only make overtures to people who we think won’t reject us.
    • We often overestimate the likeliness that somebody will reject us when we are really attracted to them.


    While the amount of acquaintances an ENFP has is likely to be much larger than say, an INTP – the actual pool of people we interact with on a daily basis is fairly small, even for an ENFP. I mean how many people do we talk to for more than five minutes every day of the week? Less than thirty? Less than ten? How many of them are the gender we are interested in? How many are single? How many of those would we like to date? How many of those would like to date us?

    My point being, in a given month we may meet or bump into hundreds of people, and thus it feels like our pool of potential mates is rather large – but the pool of people we interact with long enough and frequently enough to form a connection with is actually super tiny.

    I suspect that this is a common issue for ENFx actually. High standards from an idealized view of romance, combined with a high fear of rejection and compounded by misjudging the true size of the pool of available mates in their life makes it seem to them as if they are destined to be unhappy in love. "I meet so many people, but I'm unable to make that connection I'm looking for"

    I would say then, that smacking them upside the head and telling them that their standards are just too darn high is a grave injustice to them and their soulmate. I think an ENFx's dream romance isn't unrealistic or impossible - it just seems that way.

    The problem isn’t their high standards, but is instead their unfounded fear of rejection and limited exposure to possible mates. Therefore my advice would be; be bold, be forward, don’t give up, look under every rock even it takes until your fifty and shine on you crazy diamond.
    INTP; 5w6
    The Intense, Cerebral Type:
    Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] Advice for an ENFP with anxiety
    By niffer in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-02-2011, 09:28 PM
  2. [ENFP] Any sound advice for an ENFP?
    By RobinsonCrusoe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 06-16-2010, 04:17 PM
  3. [ENFP] Advice for young ENFPs
    By RobinsonCrusoe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-10-2010, 03:53 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Advice for my relationship with my son
    By vontrapped in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 11-10-2008, 01:21 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO