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[ENFJ] ENFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

ENFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

  • ESTJ

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ISTJ

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ESTP

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • INTP

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ENFJ

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • INFJ

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • INFP

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ESFJ

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ISFJ

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ESFP

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ISFP

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    11

Zarathustra

Let Go Of Your Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
8,110
This is for you as an individual, not what you think ENFJs best type is in general.

The same question for these other types:

INFJs
ENFPs
INFPs
 
H

Hate

Guest
I’d have to go with ExFP. Is that sufficient or would you prefer I narrowed it down further to eliminate the X?

Least ideal: IxFJ
 

Neutralpov

New member
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
310
Having had past chemistry/relations with INTPs be pretty strong, I regret to say that I wouldn't go with them anymore even if the chemistry was there again.
In the end I need someone closer to myself, so eNTj. Someone borderline on the E/I axis, and the J/P axis so they are more easygoing than me but not clear on the other side so that we are incompatible. I also prefer sx/sp or an sx/so for variants. I am a enneagram 1 so just not another number near me (not a 1 or 2).
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I could see IXXP, EXTP, ENTJ. What I would be hesitant of is EXFX, XSXJ except possibly ISTJ.

Is that way too broad?

My absolute ideal would be ISFP, ENTP.
Least ideal would be EXFJ, ISFJ.

Ok. I pick: ENTP.
 

Zarathustra

Let Go Of Your Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
8,110
I’d have to go with ExFP. Is that sufficient or would you prefer I narrowed it down further to eliminate the X?

Least ideal: IxFJ

Hmmm...

If you could narrow it down, that would be great.

But if you can't, it's no big deal.
 

Zarathustra

Let Go Of Your Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
8,110
I have to say, I find it interesting, but perhaps not surprising, that all three ENFJ votes have gone to other extroverts.
 

sulfit

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2010
Messages
495
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
By Socionics intertype relations chart the best match for ENFJ is the ISTP. These two types have exactly same cognitive functions but in reverse formation, making them form what's called a Duality relationship (described under LSI-EIE, ISTP becomes ISTj in socionics since that is their Ti leading Se creative type). Unfortunately these two types, ENFJ and ISTP, rarely meet, so their unions are very few.

Other favorable matches include: INFJ (mirror relationship), ESTP (activity relationship), ISFP (mirage relationship), ENTP and ESFP (benefit relationship), INFP (extinguishment relationship), INTP (semi-duality relationship)
 

sulfit

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2010
Messages
495
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
My ENFJ friend specializes in dating INTPs lol i think this might be why we're friends, but she is very pushy and demanding with her boyfriends and ends up driving them away.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Why did we get only one choice, Z?
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
By Socionics intertype relations chart the best match for ENFJ is the ISTP. These two types have exactly same cognitive functions but in reverse formation, making them form what's called a Duality relationship (described under LSI-EIE, ISTP becomes ISTj in socionics since that is their Ti leading Se creative type). Unfortunately these two types, ENFJ and ISTP, rarely meet, so their unions are very few.

I think this whole "sharing the same functions" thing is misleading. Technically, there are only 4 functions (thinking, feeling, sensing, intuition), and 2 function attitudes (introverted or extroverted). The combination produces the 8 cognitive processes, or really, the 8 ego types. However, you do not share the same processes as your opposite type, not in the meaning most understand "share" to be. Instead, you prefer opposing processes, and while those opposing processes occur within yourself, you do not "use" them in a way that shapes your visible personality or perception of reality; you could actually say that you suppress them in favor of your ego (dominant process) instead. Defining someone that way is like defining something by what it isn't vs what it is. Sure, you can do that, but you can't say two people think similarly when they share opposite strengths/flaws. Instead of sharing anything, their preferences oppose each other.

For instance, Fe & Ti oppose, but Fe & Fi don't, as they are the same function with different attitudes. You could say there is overlap there, whereas Fe & Ti do not "overlap". The Fe type will experience Ti in their own mind as something distasteful or uncomfortable, and in another person, it will prove to be the opposite of how they prefer to experience/view life. At best, it often seems "exotic" (this is the draw to opposite/dual types, IMO).

So your dominant & auxiliary are what shape your visible personality, and the inferior is sort of an antagonist or an opposing force in your mind that you avoid, and when you must deal with it you "grow" or "shrink" as a person. This dynamic is within a person more so than between people. Someone who is opposite or your dual will often prove grating, then, or their initial appeal will occur because they are hard to understand & that is fascinating. Over time, such appeal does not tend to last because it opposes how you prefer to be. We're talking "oil & water" basically.

Because of this, a NF who prefers intuition & feeling will often jive better with another NF, despite their Feeling & iNtuition not having the same attitude (ie. an ENFP + INFJ). Statistics show this as well...the more LETTERS a person has in common with their mate, the more satisfaction is reported. Yes, letters are not cognitive processes, but the middle ones DO represent functions, which proves more significant in relationships anyway.

And contrary to what you write, according to stats out there, the xNFJ female & xSTP male combo is one of the most common "opposite" (or "dual, depending on whether you prefer MBTI or socionics) couplings. The other is xNFP female & xSTJ male, and according to the same statistics, both of these are reported as unhappy most of the time.

The happiest couples reported? NF+NF, of any NF type.

IMO, this mistaken idea that someone is needed to balance you out (ie. your "opposite") has been carried over into the theory, where people think someone with the same function-attitudes but in reverse is complementary AND similar. But really, while opposites can attract initially, they often just prove antagonistic in a negative way, and the benefits of that dynamic is more fruitful mentally/emotionally when it occurs within yourself, not in a relationship with someone else. In a relationship with someone else, a similar & compatible outlook in life (leading to happiness ) is shown to be far more related to your first two functions (the middle letters), regardless of their attitude.

/tangent
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Looks to me like you have 16 choices.

;)

Hush yo mouth, sassy Tutanka!

I would consciously pick ENTP. I'm heavily attracted to Ne-Fe. It lights me up.

In the past, I've had some black-hole-massive attractions with certain INTPs and ISTPs (with high N).
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
I find the initial attraction between istps and enfjs to be really strong. I think the relationship however is another issue
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
My experience is that my istp couldn't give me the conversation time I needed. He is all about action, and action with a purpose, which is entirely subjective to his own idea. Like not liking hiking unless it leads to the highest summit. Sex is sex. You sleep, eat, shit, fuck, etc. He's a great guy, but had no real time for ideals or abstractions or tangents.

Which caught up with us.
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
My experience is that my istp couldn't give me the conversation time I needed. He is all about action, and action with a purpose, which is entirely subjective to his own idea. Like not liking hiking unless it leads to the highest summit. Sex is sex. You sleep, eat, shit, fuck, etc. He's a great guy, but had no real time for ideals or abstractions or tangents.

Which caught up with us.
Not sure how well shitting and fucking go together maybe eating and fucking or sleeping and fucking I hope not shitting and sleeping....
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
Romantic intimacy and gestures, as well as deeply involved conversations that are abstract in nature are most important to me in a relationship. My guess is that only another NF or perhaps an ENTP could appreciate that eternally.
 
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