User Tag List

View Poll Results: ENFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

Voters
13. You may not vote on this poll
  • ESTJ

    0 0%
  • ISTJ

    0 0%
  • ESTP

    0 0%
  • ISTP

    3 23.08%
  • ENTJ

    1 7.69%
  • INTJ

    2 15.38%
  • ENTP

    2 15.38%
  • INTP

    0 0%
  • ENFJ

    0 0%
  • INFJ

    0 0%
  • ENFP

    5 38.46%
  • INFP

    0 0%
  • ESFJ

    0 0%
  • ISFJ

    0 0%
  • ESFP

    0 0%
  • ISFP

    0 0%
First 12

Results 11 to 20 of 20

  1. #11
    Senior Member sulfit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/so
    Posts
    492

    Default

    My ENFJ friend specializes in dating INTPs lol i think this might be why we're friends, but she is very pushy and demanding with her boyfriends and ends up driving them away.

  2. #12
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Why did we get only one choice, Z?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #13
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    INTJ

  4. #14
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,161

    Default

    Looks to me like you have 16 choices.


  5. #15
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sulfit View Post
    By Socionics intertype relations chart the best match for ENFJ is the ISTP. These two types have exactly same cognitive functions but in reverse formation, making them form what's called a Duality relationship (described under LSI-EIE, ISTP becomes ISTj in socionics since that is their Ti leading Se creative type). Unfortunately these two types, ENFJ and ISTP, rarely meet, so their unions are very few.
    I think this whole "sharing the same functions" thing is misleading. Technically, there are only 4 functions (thinking, feeling, sensing, intuition), and 2 function attitudes (introverted or extroverted). The combination produces the 8 cognitive processes, or really, the 8 ego types. However, you do not share the same processes as your opposite type, not in the meaning most understand "share" to be. Instead, you prefer opposing processes, and while those opposing processes occur within yourself, you do not "use" them in a way that shapes your visible personality or perception of reality; you could actually say that you suppress them in favor of your ego (dominant process) instead. Defining someone that way is like defining something by what it isn't vs what it is. Sure, you can do that, but you can't say two people think similarly when they share opposite strengths/flaws. Instead of sharing anything, their preferences oppose each other.

    For instance, Fe & Ti oppose, but Fe & Fi don't, as they are the same function with different attitudes. You could say there is overlap there, whereas Fe & Ti do not "overlap". The Fe type will experience Ti in their own mind as something distasteful or uncomfortable, and in another person, it will prove to be the opposite of how they prefer to experience/view life. At best, it often seems "exotic" (this is the draw to opposite/dual types, IMO).

    So your dominant & auxiliary are what shape your visible personality, and the inferior is sort of an antagonist or an opposing force in your mind that you avoid, and when you must deal with it you "grow" or "shrink" as a person. This dynamic is within a person more so than between people. Someone who is opposite or your dual will often prove grating, then, or their initial appeal will occur because they are hard to understand & that is fascinating. Over time, such appeal does not tend to last because it opposes how you prefer to be. We're talking "oil & water" basically.

    Because of this, a NF who prefers intuition & feeling will often jive better with another NF, despite their Feeling & iNtuition not having the same attitude (ie. an ENFP + INFJ). Statistics show this as well...the more LETTERS a person has in common with their mate, the more satisfaction is reported. Yes, letters are not cognitive processes, but the middle ones DO represent functions, which proves more significant in relationships anyway.

    And contrary to what you write, according to stats out there, the xNFJ female & xSTP male combo is one of the most common "opposite" (or "dual, depending on whether you prefer MBTI or socionics) couplings. The other is xNFP female & xSTJ male, and according to the same statistics, both of these are reported as unhappy most of the time.

    The happiest couples reported? NF+NF, of any NF type.

    IMO, this mistaken idea that someone is needed to balance you out (ie. your "opposite") has been carried over into the theory, where people think someone with the same function-attitudes but in reverse is complementary AND similar. But really, while opposites can attract initially, they often just prove antagonistic in a negative way, and the benefits of that dynamic is more fruitful mentally/emotionally when it occurs within yourself, not in a relationship with someone else. In a relationship with someone else, a similar & compatible outlook in life (leading to happiness ) is shown to be far more related to your first two functions (the middle letters), regardless of their attitude.

    /tangent
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
    Likes xXMariahXx liked this post

  6. #16
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Looks to me like you have 16 choices.

    Hush yo mouth, sassy Tutanka!

    I would consciously pick ENTP. I'm heavily attracted to Ne-Fe. It lights me up.

    In the past, I've had some black-hole-massive attractions with certain INTPs and ISTPs (with high N).
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious
    Likes xXMariahXx liked this post

  7. #17
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,338

    Default

    I find the initial attraction between istps and enfjs to be really strong. I think the relationship however is another issue

  8. #18
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    My experience is that my istp couldn't give me the conversation time I needed. He is all about action, and action with a purpose, which is entirely subjective to his own idea. Like not liking hiking unless it leads to the highest summit. Sex is sex. You sleep, eat, shit, fuck, etc. He's a great guy, but had no real time for ideals or abstractions or tangents.

    Which caught up with us.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  9. #19
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,338

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    My experience is that my istp couldn't give me the conversation time I needed. He is all about action, and action with a purpose, which is entirely subjective to his own idea. Like not liking hiking unless it leads to the highest summit. Sex is sex. You sleep, eat, shit, fuck, etc. He's a great guy, but had no real time for ideals or abstractions or tangents.

    Which caught up with us.
    Not sure how well shitting and fucking go together maybe eating and fucking or sleeping and fucking I hope not shitting and sleeping....

  10. #20
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    Romantic intimacy and gestures, as well as deeply involved conversations that are abstract in nature are most important to me in a relationship. My guess is that only another NF or perhaps an ENTP could appreciate that eternally.
    Likes xXMariahXx liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFPs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?
    By Zarathustra in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 257
    Last Post: 09-29-2016, 04:22 PM
  2. [ENTJ] ENTJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?
    By Zarathustra in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 09-06-2016, 06:54 PM
  3. [INFJ] INFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?
    By Zarathustra in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 75
    Last Post: 10-31-2012, 01:47 PM
  4. [INTJ] INTJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?
    By Zarathustra in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 08-24-2012, 01:35 PM
  5. [ENFP] ENFPS: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?
    By Zarathustra in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 08-15-2012, 12:48 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO