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[INFP] INFPs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

INFPs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?


  • Total voters
    77

Mia.

New member
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Jan 4, 2012
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821
Interesting, I wasn't expecting INTPs to rank well with INFPs and bad with INFJs.
I used to think INFPs were too sensitive+subjective+spiritual for my parameters, but nowadays I think it would be a pretty interesting match. And one thing is for sure: INFP is, by far, the cutest mbti type. :wubbie:

Rasofy... just when I think you can't get any cooler...
 

Rasofy

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INTP
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violet_crown

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Jun 18, 2009
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I just tend to chalk it up to a gender role thing. INFP males with T women is more likely to break typical gender roles, making it rarer. I believe it's the main reason why ESTJm and INFPf is one of the most successful opposite pairings, while you have to look harder to find ESTJf and INFPm talk about being romantically attracted to each other.

I feel what you've said holds truer for a STJ than it might for an NTJ. A sensor might lack the imagination to see the value in an INFP guy, but I can say as intuitive it's not the case for us. In fact, my longest relationship to date was with an INFP guy. We complemented each other very well for the very fact that neither conformed well to gender roles. It was healing for me to be with a partner that not only accepted, but appreciated a woman with a more take charge approach. In the same way, I think it was good for him to be with someone who saw his sensitivity and loved it about him best of all. I found we only complemented each other better as time went on.

Anyways. I guess my point is, at least on the NTJ side of the fence, we don't give a fuck about the gender role issue.
 

INTP

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Ummm...

Two things...

First, there's three different ways of thinking of "opposites" when it comes to Jungian typology.

Think of the following as representing a type's function order (1-8):

15
26
37
48

You can think of 1234 and 4321 as being opposites (for an INTJ, that would be ESFP).

You can think of 1234 and 5678 as being opposites (for an INTJ, that would be ENTP); alternately, or, opposites, but with a little twist (with a different form of opposition), would be 1234 and 5328 (instead of having completely different functions for all 4 normal functions [i.e., one type's normal functions are the other type's shadow functions]), this pairing has just the dominant/inferior functions as "opposing functions" (i.e., same function, but opposite attitude), but has the same functions in the auxiliary/tertiary, just in reverse order (which leads to the INTJ-ENFP combination).

You can also think of 1234 and 8765 as being opposites (this is really the most opposite, and, for an INTJ, would be ISFJ).

Second, what [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] said about ENTPs applies to me as well. While they can be entertaining for periods of time, and are the MBTI's natural comedians, they are almost unanimously annoying as shit after a while, and I can't really see myself being with one. Their puerile Fe, which results in an excessive and absurd need for external validation, often makes me want to wipe their existence off the face of the planet.

the correct opposites for this stuff is about how one relates to external world(persona) and how he relates to the personal unconscious(anima, aka the soul). how your persona manifests, is the opposite from your anima. but naturally this leads to all sorts of "sub-opposite" things like you mentioned with is the opposite of Ti, Fe or Te, but with anima and persona you are dealing with a lot more detailed and complicated big pictures than with types with their functions..

understanding and appreciating different types(which this whole type relationship stuff is essentially about) can be learned from earlier relationships with family members, romantic relationships, close friends etc. but this whole persona-anima thing isnt about that, it either clicks or it doesent, its not something you have learned, its something you are grown to. whether you truly understand the other person or not isnt really relevant, since you are most likely projecting your anima/animus onto the other person anyways in the beginning of the relationship and dont really see of the real person as much as you think you do..

you know, someone acts out, like you(unconsciously) act towards your personal unconscious and you naturally get an HUUUUGE unconscious bias towards that person, because that person evokes something in you, something that you cant even begin to describe, or even see as being a part of you..
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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Dec 22, 2008
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INFP
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4w5
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so/sp
I know EFJs are one of the best-fit theories for IFPs, and I can understand it to an extent, but it also strikes me as odd.

Considering all the Fi-Fe battles that have gone on here, I mean, how do you Fi doms reconcile being with/loving an Fe dom?

Wouldn't they be a soulless organizer-of-the-collective trying to make you sacrifice your individuality for their herd mentality?
I suppose because they are similar enough (being fellow NFs) which provides some comfort but they're also dissimilar in regards to things I don't want reflected in a partner; they counteract parts of myself that I don't want amplified.

I'm shy and reserved enough as it is, so I can't be with someone who is quieter than me; I just find it exhausting being around people like that. I also think my scatty, disorganised, Perceiver qualities are not really something I need more of - I want to be steadied a little. I also think the positive qualities of Fe-doms specifically, are attractive: the easy-going, gregarious, nice guy thing they have going on. I also like the way Fe can draw me out with it's warmth and sensitivity, and in I'm kinda INTP-like as it is, so I need someone warmer than me. Also Ni can have a Ne+Fi sense about it, which is comforting and familiar.

I imagine there would be some Fe-Fi battles but at long as the guy has some level of maturity, these are battles I can manage. Personally I find that Fi-Ti/Te battles tend to be a lot more draining and alienating.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
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I feel what you've said holds truer for a STJ than it might for an NTJ. A sensor might lack the imagination to see the value in an INFP guy, but I can say as intuitive it's not the case for us. In fact, my longest relationship to date was with an INFP guy. We complimented each other very well for the very fact that neither conformed well to gender roles. It was healing for me to be with a partner that not only accepted, but appreciated a woman with a more take charge approach. In the same way, I think it was good for him to be with someone who saw his sensitivity and loved it about him best of all. I found we only complimented each other better as time went on.

Anyways. I guess my point is, at least on the NTJ side of the fence, we don't give a fuck about the gender role issue.

I agree – ENTJ women are more likely to overlook gender roles and really look at INFP males. The pairing definitely has potential. I find INFP males to be a bit more gender role conscious (thank you tertiary Si!), but it’s not a huge hurdle to overcome. And once the hurdle is jumped, as you stated, it’s a great complementary match-up.

Actually, I figured out pretty quickly that I appreciate their drive, and I generally don’t find myself intimidated by it, and in fact enjoy encouraging it. (Okay, so it does open up some opportunities for playful bickering. You guys are fun lot to rile up. :D) What really surprised me about ENTJs, especially many ENTJ women, is just how deeply idealistic and romantic you guys can be under the surface.

So yeah, I wish there were more of ya, honestly. ENTJ is up there near the top of the potentials list for me.
 

Rasofy

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I'm sorry Rasofy, I didn't mean that to come out so rude :blush:
Don't worry, that wasn't rude for my parameters. :gleam:
I thought what you said was cute and was referring to what I like about INTPs that are fun and sweet, but the 'yeah' was for the fact that talk of 'perameters' isn't terribly attractive to this particular INFP ;)
Better systematic than cheesy.
 

Forever_Jung

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May 23, 2009
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2,644
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ESFJ
ENFJ's are so affectionate and cute :wubbie: A short sketch of an ENFJ winning me over:

Interior: My heart. I sit in my super-villain swivel chair, stroking my evil cat, who I have named Fi-line

Me: Soon, I will block out EVERYONE'S FEELINGS BUT MY OWN! I will have done away with that pesky reality once and for all. Muahaha!

ENFJ: Not so fast, Jeremy!

Me: ENFJ! Bu-but, how'd you get past the guards?

ENFJ: Flattery and affection, if you ever look outside yourself one day, you should try it.

Me: HA! It will take more than Fe's phony charm to defeat me.

ENFJ: That's typism you asshole! Also, let us discuss our feelings and the work of Viktor Frankl while I give you a back massage.

Me: No....it can't be...all I ever wanted was to die alone! I'm MEEEEELLLLLTINNNNNGGGG....meeelting....melt-- (Turns to emotional goo)

After they get past that initial resistance, I open up and become extremely affectionate.

That being said, I also think ENFJ's can go HORRIBLY wrong for me.
 
Last edited:

Darya

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Jun 4, 2012
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I dated an INFP for 2.5 years..... He was a lovely, loyal man.. I think, in an INFJ and INFP relationship, too much EMOTIONS are involved which can lead to passionate relationship but with HEATED arguments.....
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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This is for you as an individual, not what you think INFPs' best type is in general.

The same question for these other types:

ENFJs
INFJs
ENFPs

I'm wondering why you have chosen to ask only these types?
Is there a personal interest?...what is it?

Oh and also, regarding myself, i just don't know...i can't wrap it up and place it in a box like that.
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
ENFJ is really taking the lead... I'm surpised, I couldn't imagine myself living with an ENFJ... .-.

*Swoops past on rainbow horse-crab-motorcycle hybrid*

Your loss!!!
 

unityemissions

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Jul 8, 2008
Messages
54
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INFP
I've tried relationships with ENFJs. It starts out feeling magical, but goes sour after a few months....really, really sour. I'm not sure that I want to go through the experience again.

I've tried to date INFPs, but if our value system doesn't match very well, major issues arise.

Pretty sure that what I need is not entirely what I think I want in the moment. I often want someone bubbly, intelligent, nice....like an ENFJ, but have matured over the years to realize that what I really need for a long lasting relationship is someone more grounded in reality, and less emotional than I am.

I voted for INTJ, but think maybe ENTJ, or XNTP would work as well.

Overall, I lean more towards the J's. Pretty sure my father is an INFP as well, and mother is an INTJ. They work together very well. Scuffles, but all productive conflicts.

I need a J to help me keep my future company organized, and help me decide how to set up operations and expand them most effectively.

So my ideal type will either be an ENTJ, or INTJ. Because I need so much time to recharge, and am not too sociable, I'm going with INTJ, FTW!!
 

Mia.

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Jan 4, 2012
Messages
821
I've tried relationships with ENFJs. It starts out feeling magical, but goes sour after a few months....really, really sour. I'm not sure that I want to go through the experience again.

I've tried to date INFPs, but if our value system doesn't match very well, major issues arise.

Pretty sure that what I need is not entirely what I think I want in the moment. I often want someone bubbly, intelligent, nice....like an ENFJ, but have matured over the years to realize that what I really need for a long lasting relationship is someone more grounded in reality, and less emotional than I am.

I voted for INTJ, but think maybe ENTJ, or XNTP would work as well.

Overall, I lean more towards the J's. Pretty sure my father is an INFP as well, and mother is an INTJ. They work together very well. Scuffles, but all productive conflicts.

I need a J to help me keep my future company organized, and help me decide how to set up operations and expand them most effectively.

So my ideal type will either be an ENTJ, or INTJ. Because I need so much time to recharge, and am not too sociable, I'm going with INTJ, FTW!!

Hehe, they are good at that, yes. Your whole post was interesting as well.
 

unityemissions

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Jul 8, 2008
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54
MBTI Type
INFP
Thanks!, Mia :)

All I know is that I'm going to not try and date for a solid 6 months right now. Just this morning ended a relationship with another INFP who was....I have no clue....hospitalized time and time again....labeled with everything under the sun....and now is seemingly caught up in the cult that is DID-specific psychiatry.

I've watched this woman go from taking no meds, to being on 5-6, and thinking she may have an alter or two, to now believing there is dozens, and she keeps saying conflicting stories of when she was first abused, etc...these psycho shrinks are inserting all sorts of nonsense in her mind, and she's gobbling it all up....I try to be honest with her and tell her she's stuck in a cult of some sorts, and she thinks I'm somehow the psycho?!

All I know is she used a gaslighting technique on me to the tee this morning, and is out of my life for good. I think that she was the female version of a psychopath....BPD, with psychotic tendencies.

I gave up months of my life, a ton (literally) of monies, gave up sobriety to try and fit in with her, etc, etc....and she's left thinking I was the psycho who was abusing her by being honest....

I realize this isn't representative of the average INFP, but damned....I just can't go though it again....
 

Mia.

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Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
821
Thanks!, Mia :)

All I know is that I'm going to not try and date for a solid 6 months right now. Just this morning ended a relationship with another INFP who was....I have no clue....hospitalized time and time again....labeled with everything under the sun....and now is seemingly caught up in the cult that is DID-specific psychiatry.

I've watched this woman go from taking no meds, to being on 5-6, and thinking she may have an alter or two, to now believing there is dozens, and she keeps saying conflicting stories of when she was first abused, etc...these psycho shrinks are inserting all sorts of nonsense in her mind, and she's gobbling it all up....I try to be honest with her and tell her she's stuck in a cult of some sorts, and she thinks I'm somehow the psycho?!

All I know is she used a gaslighting technique on me to the tee this morning, and is out of my life for good. I think that she was the female version of a psychopath....BPD, with psychotic tendencies.

I gave up months of my life, a ton (literally) of monies, gave up sobriety to try and fit in with her, etc, etc....and she's left thinking I was the psycho who was abusing her by being honest....

I realize this isn't representative of the average INFP, but damned....I just can't go though it again....

Dude... so sorry to hear that....

Just realize there are people with mental illness/issues to work through of every type. Personally I think INFP with INFP would be a rather lopsided match anyway.
 

unityemissions

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Jul 8, 2008
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54
MBTI Type
INFP
It definitely was. The other major conflict I saw was the lack of development in her Te, but it's understandable. I'm 29, and she's 22...I think back to when I was 22, and how many irrational beliefs I had back then...I could see where she was with her reasoning potential, and see all the things she wasn't considering, but it felt like I was walking on eggshells and exhausting myself trying to come up with the correct approach to tell her that she wasn't thinking too clearly.

I'm pretty well sure if she stays in this cult, she will be dead before the age of 40. Generally speaking, people who take multiple hardcore psychiatric meds have a greatly reduced life expectancy. I realize correlation doesn't prove causation, but think that these meds usually cause more harm than good. Anyways, I don't want to gunk up this thread. Thanks for responding, though!
 

sulfit

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Aug 5, 2010
Messages
495
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
By Socionics intertype relations chart the best match for INFP is the ESTJ. These two types have exactly same cognitive functions but in reverse formation, making them form what's called a Duality relationship (described under LSE-EII, INFP becomes INFj in socionics since that is their Fi leading Ne creative type). Unfortunately these two types, INFP and ESTJ, rarely meet and get together, so their unions are very few.

Other favorable matches include: ENFP (mirror relationship), ISTJ (activity relationship), ESFJ (mirage relationship), INTJ and ISFJ (benefit relationship), ENFJ (extinguishment relationship), ENTJ (semi-duality relationship)
 
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