[INFP] INFPs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

[Mia.]

How does that work?

Uh...I don't know how you guys do it, but despite having Fe and being a fellow P, you guys are attractive to little ol' moi regardless. You defy the laws of nature.

 

[Rasofy]

Uh...I don't know how you guys do it, but despite having Fe and being a fellow P, you guys are attractive to little ol' moi regardless. You defy the laws of nature.

Oh, got it!
I think INTPs are quite compatible with En 5s, 6s and 9s INFPs. INTP+ En 4 INFP would be challenging, to say the least, but could work.

 

[OrangeAppled]

And INTPs are the one type that seems to prove the exception to the “no-Fe, no-P” rule.

I don't find Fe problematic in INTPs; in fact, we can often bond over annoyance with Fe in others, most specifically in ESFJs.... As I age, ESFJs rub me the wrong way less & less though. My arch nemesis remains the ESTJ....

For some unknown reason, ENTPs & ISTPs are the xxTPs which repel me, while I usually gel initially with INTPs & ESTPs (but may have a "falling out" later down the line).

I do wonder how much the "role" of the function-attitude comes into play, but I don't buy the socionics theory about it (the function-attitudes, aka cognitive processes, are defined VERY differently from Jung's descriptions, IMO). The Berens/Beebes models don't seem to deal with intertype relations much, not to my knowledge anyway (which is limited). I lean towards my grasp of Jung's basic idea that beyond your dominant & aux, more than 1 function-attitude can be inferior & these are basically relegated to a realm where they are undifferentiated from things like memories & emotions, so much so perhaps that these functions don't even have an attitude (ie. an INFP may simply be Fi-Ne-S-Te, with "sensing" not being differentiated enough to have an attitude. This really supports "loop" theories, where Si would manifest as "attached" to emotions influencing Fi reasoning, and sometimes tertiary S could look Se-ish or appear inferior but not antagonistic like a Ni-dom's Se. ). Only the opposing function-attitude to your dominant may have a clear attitude, mainly because it's not able to co-exist with your dominant as the aux is. So you become aware of it at times, whereas the other inferior & undifferentiated functions are harder to pick out & define. This means that Si, Se, Ti, Ni & Fe in an INFP could be nearly equal in influence on the mind, as they may be undifferentiated with no specific, defined role. If you look at Nardi's data, this seems somewhat accurate. The INFP shows Te thinking, but not Si very much. The main thinking is associated with Fi & Ne areas, with some Te areas, but used quite differently from a xxTJ. This sort of suggests the tert may have no attitude, just being an undifferentiated inferior.

To tie loosely into the above about INTPs, this means they may be more aware of their Feeling, as it may be more defined in their mind in the opposing role to the dominant; whereas an ENTP's Feeling would be undifferentiated, & perhaps this makes them colder/less aware of valuation in their mind, which of course is unappealing to a Fi-dom. However, an ISTP lacks Ne, making them less easy to bond with, but an ESTP is less conflicting being S-dom (which is not opposing to anything in an INFP). Something like that.... I'm thinking outloud a lot in my posts today, but where else can I muse on personality theory .

 

[Salomé]

I do find myself quite attracted to 5s, though. And INTPs are the one type that seems to prove the exception to the “no-Fe, no-P” rule.

How does that work?

It's because we don't have Fe. *bangs drum* *again*

 

[Rasofy]

It's because we don't have Fe. *bangs drum* *again*

Nope. You don't!

 

[Salomé]

Even if you claim it's your inferior, you still don't have it/ it won't manifest as classic Fe.
Sheesh. What part of this is hard to understand...

 

[Rasofy]

What's your enneagram, Salomé? cp 6?

 

[Salomé]

Cp?
5w4 sx/sp

 

[Rasofy]

Cp?
5w4 sx/sp

cp means counterphobic (6s are divided between primarily phobic and primarily counterphobic).

You definitely sound like one. Btw, two 6s have agreed with me by rep.

 

[Salomé]

You're all wrong.
But you're probably used to that.

 

[Rasofy]

Your response wasn't unexpected.

 

[Ginkgo]

Historically, extraverts provided the complementary energy necessary for me to feel like there was a comfortable connection. The T/F, J/P dichotomy is where control issues tend to come in; if enough trust is established to express my emotional side and my cerebral side, while at the same time making my place in another's life clear, then the connection comes into focus. The S/N dichotomy doesn't make a difference, really, as I'm comfortable overtly expressing intuition and discreetly expressing it. Seems like the biggest determining factor is comfortability with oneself, but historically speaking, EXTX tends to work the best.

 

[Anew Leaf]

I don't really think egram types has anything to do with what amount to be individual preferences. It's adding another vaguely scientific filter to another vaguely scientific filter.

I think the key to any individual is simply knowing yourself and knowing truly what your strengths and weaknesses are.

And ni-doms being close minded..... I find ji-doms to being more close minded overall. With a ji-Dom, it may take a long time for a judgement to be passed. But once it has been... It can be next to impossible to change it, even with ample evidence. I find that at least with intjs that they are open to new evidence far longer and will change their minds as needed.

 

[Ginkgo]

I think the key to any individual is simply knowing yourself and knowing truly what your strengths and weaknesses are.

Oh noes! We're leaving the keys to our hearts lying about.

 

[jixmixfix]

I dated an infp once she had the softest lips I've ever kissed woooow. I'm pretty sure infps are composed of jello, butter and water

 

[Anew Leaf]

I dated an infp once she had the softest lips I've ever kissed woooow. I'm pretty sure infps are composed of jello, butter and water

The winner of this thread.

 

[Thessaly]

I don't really know about this anymore. There are types I know for sure I could never be happy in the long run with and types I seem to have any easy time with and then a few types that attract me very strongly. I think ultimately I am probably best suited for an NT. They seem to yield the best results for me. ESTPs are the only sensors I think I could make it in the long run with, but I would still feel less of a kinship with them than any intuitive most likely. With that said they have always had a very positive influence on me so I know that even if we couldn't get our abstract conceptualized theory on, they could make me happy in some other pretty significant ways.

I have been highly attracted to and bewitched by many ENFJs but those affairs are always short lived and to be honest the most hurtful and difficult to forget. I think ENFJs have many qualities that I find ideal and that in an ideal world I would end up with one, but it appears to me that I can't tolerate Fe Ni nor Ni Fe in more than a friend capacity. Even when our values match we still have very different approaches and methodologies and it's just too exhausting. I want someone who is laid back, funny, and clever in a manner that I connect to and for me so far that is INTP, ENTP. I think I could also work well with an easy going INTJ or ENTJ. It takes a very, very detached and reserved F to make healthy distance with me.

So anyways I voted for INTPs. The INTPs that have jobs outside of being armchair philosophers of course.

 

[purple tuesday]

I voted INFP. I used to think my ideal match was ENFJ but, as others have pointed out, a relationship with one only works so long. I have tried relationships with T's but they never work out very well... the same goes for S and J types. So, I've concluded INFP. As long as our values aren't extremely different everything works out good. I've often wished I could be with someone very similar to myself. But I don't know. My mind might change, and relationships with other types can go well if the person is mature

 

[xenaprincess]

I voted ENFP but have nothing to back it up, haha.

Like Thessaly I think I'm suited to an emotionally aware T type, and I think I'm better with introverts. But an INTP and I would get nothing done. I would have a hard time following them, too, with their vascillations (no offense, I have INTP friends whom I love dearly!)

I am with an INTJ now. His TJ part is so damaging at times, that I'm not sure how long this can last. He comes around and understands me (or at least tries to) later, but by that time, damage is done.

I have to wonder tho, we INFPs are such idealists, is there an ideal type? seems...contradictory.

 

[Rebe]

My last relationship was with an unhealthy ESTP. It could have worked out if he isn't so terribly unhealthy. He's light-hearted, so charismatic and humorous, positive and has a lot of energy. He takes everything I ever threw at him in stride, it did not even slow him own one bit. He never took anything that I said too deeply, which I appreciate because sometimes I just say things. He is able to see through whatever crap I may have and he allowed me to act however I wanted, said and do whatever I wanted. I have never had such a relationship with anyone before. I could fight with him as much as I wanted and he was all okay with it. It was a very freeing experience and I never had to try to be someone I am not. In fact, he affirmed the good qualities in me. Those are the good things but there were a shitload of bad things.

As far as sole functions go, I am attracted to primary Se and secondary Te because perhaps I lack those the most so I'm drawn to those who can master it so naturally. Primary Te is too strict and dull (to me) so I'd put down INTJ ahead of EXTJ. Primary Se leads me to ESTP and I think I'd like ISTPs too. My friend told me I should be with a (very successful) construction worker/manager type of personality because I need someone to "ground me", which is something I have heard more than once from more than one person. Am I floating right now? I believe as I am getting older and more experienced, I am more capable of grounding myself but there are things that are just unnatural to me. I don't necessarily agree with the grounding part. My perspective on life is different, sometimes weird, other times conflicting, but it's not any less useful or realistic or awesome. I like Se to ground me bec Te steps on me as they do but Se and I are opposites so we can co-exist and try to understand each other but Te and Fi are archenemies.

Because I take myself too seriously, I like people who can just pull me out of my head so I can just enjoy life and relax and not think too much. What is a problem with XSTPs is that I can't have theoretical discussions with them, which is something I love to do. Whenever I try, they always have a three word answer and that's it.

The problem with INTJs may turn out to me that I get too self-conscious because I realize that they have high expectations and are sorta perfectionists and take themselves more seriously than I do. With an INTJ, I would have to watch what I say and do quite carefully. This is good because it may push me constantly to become better and better, but it also can be quite straining because I would never want to have an imperfect moment in front of someone like that.

I'm attracted to Se and Te and I'm curious about Ni and Ti so any of those combinations would intrigue me. Fe / Si makes great friends, but they both really confuse and frustrate me. Ne / Fi is too similar to me so we'd be like the blind leading the blind.