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View Poll Results: INFPs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

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  • ESTJ

    3 3.90%
  • ISTJ

    0 0%
  • ESTP

    5 6.49%
  • ISTP

    3 3.90%
  • ENTJ

    3 3.90%
  • INTJ

    5 6.49%
  • ENTP

    4 5.19%
  • INTP

    12 15.58%
  • ENFJ

    16 20.78%
  • INFJ

    7 9.09%
  • ENFP

    6 7.79%
  • INFP

    8 10.39%
  • ESFJ

    0 0%
  • ISFJ

    2 2.60%
  • ESFP

    3 3.90%
  • ISFP

    0 0%
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Thread: INFPs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    Why is it likely? If it could be Fi, why insist that it isn't? That's the part I'm not following.
    i'm not insisting that it isn't, i'm trying to open a debate about whether it is or isn't.

  2. #152
    mrs Array disregard's Avatar
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    I think my husband is an ISFJ and we are great for each other. He is responsible with money and very loving and forgiving and moral, whereas I am the crazy one with the irrational emotions and spending habits.

    We are both happily introverted.

  3. #153
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    @Salomé - what is intp function order according to your theory? Are you saying they use Te as their 4th function or that they don't use a Je function at all? I thought we all needed a "Ji-Pe-Pi-Je" (in any given order) as our first four functions? And don't Pi-Je/Je-Pi/Pe-Ji/Ji-Pe need to be used in conjunction as pairs? So does this mean intp's use Si-Te as 3rd/4th functions?

    IDK - I am Ti dom (90% sure not an extravert) and I do not use Fi, it is the function I can least understand or identify with. When I interact with Fe dom/aux we definitely are "speaking the same language" even if in opposition. Like two poltiical opponents (or sometimes allies) within the same country. But two opposite poles of the same "whole".

    With Fi, it's a different language. I am looking in on something alien. They may either be opponents or allies, but from a different framework. If that makes sense.

  4. #154
    meh Array Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Il Morto Che Parla View Post
    @Salomé - what is intp function order according to your theory?
    I don't think it is rigidly fixed. All I can say with certainty is that it's nonsensical and contradictory to claim INTPs are competent Fe-users. This isn't my theory. It's JCF theory, properly understood. *

    Individual circumstances lead people to develop functions according to their specific needs. However, INTPs consistently report Fi > Fe, and this is unsurprising given that Fe is diametrically opposed to their dominant function and therefore likely to be the least available to conscious expression.
    It's not uncommon for someone to be unsure about whether they are INTP or INFP. (Which makes no sense if these types have opposite dom functions. Far less common for INTPs and INFJs to get mixed up, and yet they are supposed to share Fe/Ti ...)

    Are you saying they use Te as their 4th function or that they don't use a Je function at all?
    Most INTPs have better developed Te than Fe. Te is a sibling of Ti, they are not incompatible. They share similar goals.
    I thought we all needed a "Ji-Pe-Pi-Je" (in any given order) as our first four functions?
    People get too hung up on this. It has no foundation. It's an arbitrary formulation.
    In my own case, I would say I have excellent Ti and Ne. Good Fi and Te use (the latter when I'm pushed to use it - I dislike having to do so and find it very dull). Pretty good Se. The rest (Fe, Si, Ni) are not well developed and have a largely negative aspect. I also sometimes react negatively or with frustration towards their expression in others (and others with these functions in leading positions similarly often react negatively or fail to understand me) which is another indication that they are not differentiated within my personality.
    While individual circumstances will have played a part, I don't find this to be an uncommon pattern for INTPs.

    IDK - I am Ti dom (90% sure not an extravert) and I do not use Fi, it is the function I can least understand or identify with. When I interact with Fe dom/aux we definitely are "speaking the same language" even if in opposition. Like two poltiical opponents (or sometimes allies) within the same country. But two opposite poles of the same "whole".

    With Fi, it's a different language. I am looking in on something alien. They may either be opponents or allies, but from a different framework. If that makes sense.
    That makes sense, since it's exactly how I feel (with the functions switched). Even Berens (who champions the Fe > Fi model for INTPs) acknowledges that function development is almost never "by the book". People are too complex to be described by neat little recipes.

    FWIW, you strike me as more ExTP than IxTP. And I do think they are more likely to favour Fe at the expense of Fi. This is unsurprising, given an extroverted nature and drive to make things happen in the real world. Fe is much more utilitarian / pragmatic than Fi.

    *Lenore Thomson has the function order for INTPs as:
    [Ti/Ne/Fi/Se]/[Ni/Te/Si/Fe]

    This pattern is closer to tested results than those which have Si/Fe 3rd and 4th respectively. So if I were going to endorse any model, it would be this one.
    It fits logically, too, with the idea of a polarity between Ti and Fe, Ne and Si, such that development of one implies neglect of the other. Though it's still dangerous to insist on this kind of symmetry. Real things are seldom symmetrical.

    Thomson's theory is that personality types are brain types. And that Ps are essentially right-brained. (Js, left). The right-brained functions are (according to her) Ti, Ne, Fi and Se.
    This intuitively feels right to me on some level**, and there is some evidence to support such a view, but I don't think it's quite that simple.

    Ne, Se, and Fi, seem to be pretty right-brained. (Te, Fe, Si and Ni, left). Ti, I'm not sure about. On one level, it's very left-brained - analytical, abstract, detached, clinical, interested in precision. On another, it's right - more visual than verbal, sensitive to the "aesthetic" of an idea. Interested in the bigger picture, the congruity and cohesiveness, relatedness and holism of ideas, as opposed to their practical application. (I don't know how much of this is the influence of Ne, in my case). It may straddle the divide in some way. Jury's still out for me.

    ** it also goes some way to explain why there are two modes of "thinking", "feeling", "sensing" etc - each reflects the approach of the hemisphere in which they arise towards the domain of use. I think the conflation of the introversion/extroversion continuum with the "attitude" of functions confuses the picture somewhat. It might be more illuminating to call it "left"-feeling vs "right"-feeling, or something else entirely. (Although there is an association of right hemisphere with introversion, left with extroversion.)

    If you think of a function as a melody, it will have a very different quality played on a brass vs a stringed instrument, even if the notes and phrasing remain the same.
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    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #155
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    Honestly, I think it's INFP, but I can find plenty of faults in some of them. There's one girl I know who's INFP: she had a serious fight with friends she trusted and then her life started to go downhill. She's better now, but she has this need to constantly remind anybody who criticizes her that they "don't know what she's been through"; I understand that she's hurt, but you can't go living your life constantly reflecting on some stupid friend and reducing all of your faults to one event: you must take the reins some time. We're friends, but I'm not interested in her.

    Then there was another one who I got really close to. Everything was fine, but she was expecting public displays of affection from me: it's not that I wouldn't do it, but she's the first person who ever would do things - such as rub her shoulder against mine - so I didn't know how to react. Some other things happened, and I blew everything (I think she began to misinterpret my intentions, and when I tried to explain everything to her, it was too late: she wasn't interested in talking to me); I think it's best now that we just go on our own separate ways, but I still reflect quite a lot on how I screwed up. By the way, I didn't find any faults in this one, which is what drew me to her.
    Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude.

    Schopenhauer

  6. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aesthete View Post
    Honestly, I think it's INFP, but I can find plenty of faults in some of them. There's one girl I know who's INFP: she had a serious fight with friends she trusted and then her life started to go downhill. She's better now, but she has this need to constantly remind anybody who criticizes her that they "don't know what she's been through"; I understand that she's hurt, but you can't go living your life constantly reflecting on some stupid friend and reducing all of your faults to one event: you must take the reins some time. We're friends, but I'm not interested in her.

    Then there was another one who I got really close to. Everything was fine, but she was expecting public displays of affection from me: it's not that I wouldn't do it, but she's the first person who ever would do things - such as rub her shoulder against mine - so I didn't know how to react. Some other things happened, and I blew everything (I think she began to misinterpret my intentions, and when I tried to explain everything to her, it was too late: she wasn't interested in talking to me); I think it's best now that we just go on our own separate ways, but I still reflect quite a lot on how I screwed up. By the way, I didn't find any faults in this one, which is what drew me to her.
    In regards to the first girl, are you sure she wasn't referring to a cumulative effect rather than a single event? For example it may have been the biggest blow in a very long line of many: the former number are all painful but all internalised until said event causes things to boil over.

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    In regards to the first girl, are you sure she wasn't referring to a cumulative effect rather than a single event? For example it may have been the biggest blow in a very long line of many: the former number are all painful but all internalised until said event causes things to boil over.
    From the way she described it to me, it was only one event; or from the way I see it anyway: basically a fight with somebody who seemed like a very good friend to her, and then that person turned others against her. But they have no more contact nowadays (this happened in the last year of school prior to high school, and she went to a different high school from them). Any conflict (for lack of a better term) that occurs between her and her parents - as far as I know - is a result of her depressed state, so it only started after the event.

    Have you ever seen one of those movies where a person is damaged by some traumatic event in their lives, and then puts on a bad attitude because of it: the type that constantly needs to remind others of all the things they went through? Sure, you can be their friend and try not to judge them, but, ultimately, only they can help themselves.
    Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude.

    Schopenhauer

  8. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    Te is a sibling of Ti, they are not incompatible. They share similar goals.
    I would have diagree with this more than not. If it's a peer and/or working relationship, there's a much better chance of mutual respect. If the Te has a position of power, not even close (and if the Ti has a position of power instead, the subordinate Te will be a ninny of some kind, insisting on less experimental procedures or change in tactics). In a position of authority, Te is more of a conceptual thinker, they see reality in a whole "block" of sorts. Many things are decided and categorized, everything has it's neat little place. It doesn't matter if they came about them rationally - once it's decided, they can hold on to their methods in an irrational way. Ti questions the specifics, finds room for improvement, and doesn't adopt a singular worldview or process that clouds their judgement. Extroverted Perception causes judgement to sometimes change. If they see something that works better, they bring it up. This could cause problems in an employee/stubborn employer relationship. And if it's pre-adult stage, it's probably worse. An ISTJ gym teacher, for example, might want everyone to conform to some dress code and wear specific shorts (often of the gay thigh high variety). If you question them, you'll just get a "Because I said so". If you bring slightly different shorts but the same color, it's still not up to snuff. They won't budge from their methods and codes, once decided, and bark this shit down on subordinates. I think some get off more on this type of relationship.. one of management and directing. So, the Ti types will probably be a thorn in their side. They might even get in fights with them. The Fi types don't like it either, but they get outright bullied. Jung was more inclined to paint a bigger dichotomy between general extroversion and introversion, I think.

  9. #159

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    My ideal match has definitely been ESTJ. I'm speaking of those who are Te + Si and extroverted rational in Jung, not the shallow mbti portrait. You have to read Jung on Te + Si to get the ESTJ type.

    This relationship can take more investment than with intuitives but soon enough totally pays off. I don't find myself fluidly adapting and relating to types with conflicting functions like INTPs--their thought process and explanations are confusing, and Ti's resorting reliance on Fe gets quite annoying as they never seem to grasp my feeling level, ENTJs--our basic interests and imaginations are just too different and undervalued (Ni/Se), and INFPs are too similar and mundane for the long-term. My ESTJ relationships have been simply comfortable and refreshingly balanced in their assertive Te 'kick,' which seems to gets things rolling for me in a thoughtful and peaceful way. Te as a rule is pretty emotionally restrained compared to feeling, so my role finally feels natural, and invited and needed in the relationship. We have a lot of immediate mutual understanding compared to others since we're both Fi and Ne oriented and we both take rationally decisive evaluations on Si/Ne, and I find a lot of comfort and promise in this. The more I realize how complementing their Te is to my understanding of things the more I realize it's what I need. I truly think it's pure, balanced Fi Ne<->Te Si interchange and cannot think of a better long-term "dual."

    Wow, I do see ENFJ is a frequent choice on the poll. I think there's been some major misleading mbti influence on your typings. As Jung describes, Fe and Fi are completely dousing, disorienting, barbaric thought processes to one another. INFPs and ENFJs easily miscommunicate and struggle between Fx, Nx, Sx, and Tx, having much all around relational difference and discomfort. I've never had a meaningful relationship with an ENFJ and have never been able to feel anywhat close to them without serious problems occurring. I honestly believe you're mistaking what INFP and ENFJ are, as never do these types coexist like this relationally.

    Source http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Jung/types.htm

  10. #160
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    My brother married an INFJ. INFP 4w5 sp/sx and INFJ 1w2 so/sx
    My mother seems inherently drawn to ESFJs.

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