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View Poll Results: INFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

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  • ESTJ

    0 0%
  • ISTJ

    0 0%
  • ESTP

    0 0%
  • ISTP

    0 0%
  • ENTJ

    3 6.82%
  • INTJ

    5 11.36%
  • ENTP

    6 13.64%
  • INTP

    7 15.91%
  • ENFJ

    3 6.82%
  • INFJ

    7 15.91%
  • ENFP

    8 18.18%
  • INFP

    4 9.09%
  • ESFJ

    0 0%
  • ISFJ

    1 2.27%
  • ESFP

    0 0%
  • ISFP

    0 0%
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Results 61 to 70 of 76

  1. #61
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Probably another Fe-dominant/auxiliary type. A good friend of mine is an ISFJ. I think I'd get along with an ENFJ.

  2. #62
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think I'd probably like an ENFJ too, although I've never met any male ones, so it's hard to really say. I usually go for more ENTJ or ESTJish or INFP types, but I wouldn't say any of those are an ideal combo.

  3. #63
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    I like ENTJ, INTP, and ENFJ.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tujay View Post
    I am in love with an ENFP and it is a painful roller coaster ride. I am happiest with an ENTP. Why is this?

    This ENFP reads me like a book and typed me before I even knew my type. Because of the emotionality and deep connection we have that exists without words, every time his curiosity gets the better of him and he chooses to spend time with another woman - which is ALL of the time, I can't help but feel like my person is being rejected at a very deep level. Like I'm not good enough or something; though in reality - he is probably just being an ENFP.

    The relationship dynamics just don't shake out to be very healthy or secure in the long run. In short, ENFP + INFJ = strong and intense emotional connection, goes up in flames because ENFPs can't commit and INFJs need commitment.

    ENTPs and INFJs share the compatibility of ENFP and INFJ but without the heaviness of intense emotional connection. Therefore, when ENTPs are just being spontaneous and curious, INFJs don't take it personally and they can see the ENTP curiousity for what it really is and delight in it - instead of taking it as a personal rejection.

    It is funny, my non romantic relationships with ENFPs are similar and fun.

    At least, this has been my experience. I have been burned by an ENFP so I am biased.
    I feel bad for you for having to experience infidelity. It's a painful thing to have to go through. However you can't really blackball a whole type as cheaters based on one individual, or even three or ten. I have a very different experience myself. I also have an experience of dating someone who was an ENTP whose behavior at the time was very controlling and emotionally manipulative. Does that mean that every ENTP is like that based on one specimen and one interaction in one given place and time? No.
    You can't take a description from some internet profile and say ENFPs are all over the place because of Ne and will not be able to be monogamous... MBTI is really good for finding a suitable career option. It's actually really good for that. Not for most things it's used for on these forums. I mean it's a bit of fun and harmless 90% of the time but it's good to be a bit cautious as to what you may be implying when you make type generalizations like that. You're pretty likely to hurt people's feelings when they read things like "Your type is -insert unflattering adjective-." It's just good to keep in mind. Keep things nice and respectful.

  5. #65
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tujay View Post
    Because of the emotionality and deep connection we have that exists without words, every time his curiosity gets the better of him and he chooses to spend time with another woman - which is ALL of the time, I can't help but feel like my person is being rejected at a very deep level. Like I'm not good enough or something; though in reality - he is probably just being an ENFP.

    The relationship dynamics just don't shake out to be very healthy or secure in the long run. In short, ENFP + INFJ = strong and intense emotional connection, goes up in flames because ENFPs can't commit and INFJs need commitment.

    ENTPs and INFJs share the compatibility of ENFP and INFJ but without the heaviness of intense emotional connection. Therefore, when ENTPs are just being spontaneous and curious, INFJs don't take it personally and they can see the ENTP curiousity for what it really is and delight in it - instead of taking it as a personal rejection.

    It is funny, my non romantic relationships with ENFPs are similar and fun.

    At least, this has been my experience. I have been burned by an ENFP so I am biased.
    I am so sorry that has happened to you, but no, he is not just being ENFP. Many of us on the boards are in happy monogamous relationships and abhor the idea of infidelity. Some ENFPs have a very strong drive to commit; some ENFPs flee from commitment. I imagine it is highly influenced by enneatype as well as childhood experiences and individual variations in personality.

    That said, Ne does include a very strong novelty preference, which we have to work hard to channel positively. For me, my partner being adventurous, social, and outgoing helps keep me searching for new situations with him instead of new situations instead of him. I can also understand the desire for less "heavy" emotional connection, especially across the Fi-Fe line. I think I do better with Ts in romantic relationships. I rescind this comment. I have been thinking about it for a while now. Correction would be, I think I do better with emotionally stable (/not limbic) people in relationships. They are more often T than F but that it not always the case.
    Last edited by skylights; 09-11-2012 at 12:31 AM.

  6. #66
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    someone's got to own up to negative feelings to slow them down. this can be difficult with F types, who can fall into positive feedback loop patterns rather easily. in many times in life, the alloy of T is simply needed to cut through transitory and relational changes, moods, unstable equilibriums, and fucking take control of the situation.

    i think socionics is pretty good, although i don't think the idealization of duality makes as much sense as maybe it might have in the past. now culture is so hyper-differentiated that it seems that "like with like" makes a bit more sense in terms of finding social/cultural spaces that fit and don't end up being an energy drain that you just can't afford. or maybe we're the over specialized ones, and our various forms of retardation make it so that we're still fixated on something more immediate, more urgent than long-term sustainability. maybe their recommendations also don't really make sense until the adult phase in life, whenever it comes to get you.

    right now i see entp, intp, infp, enfp, intj, and possibly enfj as viable options. but if i ever get over myself, sp types might make some sense as well.

    i agree with dom that the enneagram is highly significant. i like 7s, 1s, and 4s generally. i find the instinctual subtype energy has more to do with the rhythms of interaction than anything else, which are also influenced by how naturally you use each other's understanding. this is a product of how well your experience flows back and forth in ways that are knowingly communicated/shared (for me this is largely a product of N contextualization, culturally specific languages, and Ti). harmonizing these two factors seems to be the biggest challenge overall and require the most problem-solving, because they can't really be simply negotiated BETWEEN partners. they can become more balanced, but that balance is more an aspect of the individuals than strictly the relationship, or perhaps more to do with those individuals larger systemic strategies than simply the relationship itself. the problem-solving needed requires and must promote systemic well-being, which means having resources in all kinds of social spaces, creative outlets, activities, personal investments and goals, etc.

    probably most significant is that it seems positive to just experience a wide range of relations so you realize where you're coming from and let go of the need to be complete, to be saved, to believe in an idea of love rather than committing to the practice of being a loving person to both yourself and others. romanticizations have to do with concrete things and needs that have built up over time as we have internalized our own respective lacks. the kind of intensification and aestheticization that accompanies this is cute and pleasurable in its youthful, unanchored irresponsibility and affectations, but pejoratively adolescent in its need to avoid the finite aspects of life along with their inescapable moments of solitude, the fact of impermenance, etc.

  7. #67
    Member tommyc's Avatar
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    I like people who are similiar to me but more outgoing... ENFJ is an attractive type to me, on paper at least. But love comes in many forms, and I'd hesitate to narrow down something as intangible and mysterious as romantic attraction to one type.
    I like someone who's funny, sweet, confident and attractive. I guess 'N' function is the most important, for chemistry. And I guess I'd prefer the good-natured charm of an 'F', but then rationality is important also. A good balance there would be nice.
    Other than that, I'm pretty open-minded.

  8. #68
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    At this point 28 votes: none for S, all for N. Interesting.

    I voted INTP as I'm happily married to one (well, 95% of the time happy). We love sharing ideas and analysing situations together, sometimes joyfully complaining about the stupidity of others. I stimulate his inferior Fe and he stimulates my inferior Se. We've both grown so much! He's also of great help when I'm stuck in a Ni-Ti loop. He just snaps me out of it with his Ti-Ne saying: "You should do B because it's best." This might even result in me saying: "No, I'm doing A, because I can now see that that's the best thing to do, because of D and F, thank you for helping me with that." He forces my Ni to see things clearly and make a decision. Only things that I sometimes find annoying are: his absolute unromantic nature, his undecisive P saying "I don't want to choose yet, I want to keep my options open...", his complete lack of structure in the visible world (it's all in his head, I don't know how he does that!) and every now and then him saying "Why are you nagging on about this when there's clearly not a real problem", which is our Ti & Fe clashing. Apart from that: I love him to bits

    I was in a nasty relationship with an ESFJ when I was younger. Cured me from falling in love with E's. S's maybe as well.

  9. #69

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    I am an iNFj, and I like men who are INTPs but who are secretly INFPs a little bit too.

  10. #70
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    I think we HAVE to break this down by gender somewhat because being an NF male just messes up a lot on its own :P

    INFJ females: INTP
    INFJ males: INTJ

    I always see INFJ females with INTP if we're talking long term. As for myself as a guy, I've usually had flings, best friend with a girl or something or other with: ENTPs and ENFPs but it never seems to work out into something romantic... INTJ is just a guess for right now

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