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View Poll Results: INFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

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  • ESTJ

    0 0%
  • ISTJ

    0 0%
  • ESTP

    0 0%
  • ISTP

    0 0%
  • ENTJ

    3 6.82%
  • INTJ

    5 11.36%
  • ENTP

    6 13.64%
  • INTP

    7 15.91%
  • ENFJ

    3 6.82%
  • INFJ

    7 15.91%
  • ENFP

    8 18.18%
  • INFP

    4 9.09%
  • ESFJ

    0 0%
  • ISFJ

    1 2.27%
  • ESFP

    0 0%
  • ISFP

    0 0%
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  1. #31
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Imagine someone brought you a gift, and not only did you say you don't want it, but you got pissed at them for bringing it to you.

    That's what you're doing when you're rejecting our advice.

    Don't reject our love.

    More likely than not, if you actually understand what the NTJ is trying to do, it will make sense, and make your life easier/better.

    If, after considering whether it would make sense (and, please, actually consider it), it does not, then just explain to us why.

    We really do think that the thing we've thought up will make your life better.

    If you convince us that it will not, then we won't have a problem with you not doing it.

    We may feel useless for not being able to help make your life better (if this happens repeatedly).

    Or we may learn how to better consider who you are as a person in devising future "improvements".

    Maybe we'll even realize that such improvements are not necessary, and instead direct our energy to some other more productive activity.

    Even things like "that won't work because when I wake up I'm not in an emotional place to do that" can make sense to us and be accepted.

    But to not accept, or even consider, what we have to offer, is basically to reject what is one of our core strengths.

    If our partner doesn't appreciate one of our core strengths, what the hell are we doing together exactly?

    Does this person appreciate me for who I am? Hell, does this person even really know me??

    Anyway, just shedding some light on the thinking from the NTJ side of the equation.
    Yeah, that was something I definitely had to learn - I tended to assume that ''not being in the right place emotionally to do X'' was not on the table as a ''valid'' reason not to be able to apply their assistance to my situation, then I'd feel unable to explain why I dismissed the help, at times. Holes in communication like that lead to hurt feelings on both sides, reacting/retreating into ourselves, until it could be sorted out/clarified.

    I think there are certain communicative pitfalls between every type- we all process reality differently- but, as I said before, as long as both parties sincerely want to understand, and refine the connection, I think the potential for mutual growth transcends one specific type.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  2. #32
    Senior Member sulfit's Avatar
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    By Socionics intertype relations chart the best match for INFJ is the ESTP. These two types have exactly same cognitive functions but in reverse formation, making them form what's called a Duality relationship (described under SLE-IEI, INFJ becomes INFp in socionics since that is their Ni leading Fe creative type). Unfortunately these two types, INFJ and ESTP, rarely meet and get together so their unions are very few.

    Other favorable matches include: ENFJ (mirror relationship), ISTP (activity relationship), ENTP (mirage relationship), INTP and ISFP (benefit relationship), ENFP (extinguishment relationship), ESFP (semi-duality relationship)

  3. #33
    Junior Member andiyar's Avatar
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    For me personally... it's always been ENFJs, interestingly. It's actually been entertaining in the past, that I've been able to tell whether someone is an ENFJ or not by whether or not I found them attractive - regardless of other factors.


    -Andiyar
    "any good that I may do here, let me do now, for I may not pass this way again"

  4. #34
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    At first, I was strongly attracted to ENFP, and then INTJ. Though it seems with ENFPs the clashes can be quite difficult to achieve an inner-harmony; whereas INTJs seem to be quite compatible but lack of emotional sparks.

    Recently, after engaging with a few INTPs, I realized I'm much more compatible with them. Their sense of humor seem rarely offensive and I think we help each other to draw out our shells in our own ways.

    My vote goes to INTP.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Who's my perfect match? Oh, I dunno ... who's available?
    I tend to fall in love with other beautiful dreamers, but we quickly pull each other into disaster. Somebody's got to take care of stuff that needs taking care of, instead of sitting around listening to music and reading Rupert Brooke aloud to each other and whatnot. ESTP would be a great match if I could get my energy level up high enough consistently enough to feel like I met their needs, but I don't see that happening, and I'd hate to be a disappointment. This is why I mostly just dally and don't commit, or choose to be with someone who is unavailable for whatever reason for marriage or making it too real. I need to be able to choose when to interact, because if I'm forced by daily necessity to interact when I don't have the energy, it's not pretty.

    And yes, ENTP is so engaging and delightful in the beginning, but so easily distracted, in my view, and not able to swim in the deep currents. Again, nice for every once in awhile, but not good for long term day to day. I'd starve to death emotionally.

  6. #36
    Member Moxiest's Avatar
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    INTP or ESTP.

  7. #37
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    I'm married to an ENFP and also voted for ENFP, however that said I should probably mention I have previously dated several guys, who in retrospect I would type as pretty obvious ENFPs, and none of them was my "ideal romantic match"... So I'm issuing a disclaimer in case someone wants to jump into the type dating pool reading an MBTI manual. Better to just see who you gel with and forget type. You can dig out your books again when the first sprinkles of fairy dust rub off and you have to negotiate in the reality of long term relationships.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    At first, I was strongly attracted to ENFP, and then INTJ. Though it seems with ENFPs the clashes can be quite difficult to achieve an inner-harmony; whereas INTJs seem to be quite compatible but lack of emotional sparks.

    Recently, after engaging with a few INTPs, I realized I'm much more compatible with them. Their sense of humor seem rarely offensive and I think we help each other to draw out our shells in our own ways.

    My vote goes to INTP.
    Honestly, at this point I think I seriously question the type of anyone who claims to be an INFJ yet gets along well with ENFPs and INFPs. XNFPs and I have no functions in common and gradually after some time, I have come to see that while seeming similar on the surface, we are extremely different and incompatible, I agree with the socionics people on this matter; XNXPs are a lot more like the SJs than most people imagine and Si and Ni are very incompatible in my experience.

    I had XNFP friends when I was younger and not quite as honest with myself but now I have more ESXP friends because I realized that I have far more in common with ESXPs even though when I was younger that did not seem to be the case at all. I am even hoping now to meet more ESXPs because Se is something I find that I really, really need as life becomes more difficult and complex.

    Don't be too quick to think that you are compatible with INTPs either. There is often strong mutual attraction between INTPs and INFJs initially but these types often have all sorts of vital needs that the other type cannot fulfil and that soon becomes apparent after a few months or years. I would not even consider having a relationship with an INTP now, I have seen how quite a few of them behave in relationships. I am intellectual enough already, I am not seeking an intellectual and I am not going to be a widow to anyone's mind and thoughts as I was with my INTP ex who turned out to be extremely neglectful and self absorbed and no doubt he now has some quite negative thoughts about me too.

  9. #39
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ten View Post
    Honestly, at this point I think I seriously question the type of anyone who claims to be an INFJ yet gets along well with ENFPs and INFPs. XNFPs and I have no functions in common and gradually after some time, I have come to see that while seeming similar on the surface, we are extremely different and incompatible, I agree with the socionics people on this matter; XNXPs are a lot more like the SJs than most people imagine and Si and Ni are very incompatible in my experience.

    I had XNFP friends when I was younger and not quite as honest with myself but now I have more ESXP friends because I realized that I have far more in common with ESXPs even though when I was younger that did not seem to be the case at all. I am even hoping now to meet more ESXPs because Se is something I find that I really, really need as life becomes more difficult and complex.

    Don't be too quick to think that you are compatible with INTPs either. There is often strong mutual attraction between INTPs and INFJs initially but these types often have all sorts of vital needs that the other type cannot fulfil and that soon becomes apparent after a few months or years. I would not even consider having a relationship with an INTP now, I have seen how quite a few of them behave in relationships. I am intellectual enough already, I am not seeking an intellectual and I am not going to be a widow to anyone's mind and thoughts as I was with my INTP ex who turned out to be extremely neglectful and self absorbed and no doubt he now has some quite negative thoughts about me too.
    sounds bitter
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sounds bitter
    Not bitter at all, just somewhat disappointed that my relationships with INTPs eventually end badly because I like a lot about that type (the Ti especially) and I am still good friends with my most recent INTP ex, I think we work better as friends because there is just less expectations.

    XNFPs I am just not compatible with as neither friends or partners, they tend not to understand what I am feeling/experiencing and if they do have some understanding, they often do not understand the depth or shallowness and so either think it is less than or more than it is, I have this problem to some extent I find with all types with Si amongst the first four functions. XNFPs have even worst difficulties understanding what I communicate and I likewise do not really understand them and usually after about five years of close interaction with them, the realization hits me that I do not actually trust, like or admire them. I cannot help this, as bad as it sounds, I am being honest, maybe it is just that we do not share any functions and it really does affect our communications and world view. I eventually come to see that we have nothing in common beyond the superficial. Like I said, I really think the socionics people are right about this matter based on my long term experience. There is just something I find deeply unsatisfying about dealing with XNFPs the older I get and on the other hand, I find Se types more likeable and better for my development with each passing year whereas when I was younger this was not so obviously the case at all that is all I am saying.

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