User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 97

Thread: Cynical INFP's

  1. #11
    Senior Member Joehobo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrinth View Post
    Hmmm. My parents' divorce, having my mom repeatedly send me to the hospital, being largely socially excluded in school, and countless little reasons. Nothing really recent though.

    I'd wager that no one was always a cynical person, it seems to be an acquired state of mind.
    Did your mother start doing that because of your reaction to the divorce? I remember my father would tell me I needed it but truthfully I think his more emotionally reactive than I am. I can't imagine what it would of been like actually having to go through with that.
    I get the whole thing at school, and the divorce though.

    Yeah, it seems to be that way. Our poor little souls being repeatedly trampled on. Are we just playing victim or do we need to be this way?

  2. #12
    ... Tyrinth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    649 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    1,173

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joehobo View Post
    Did your mother start doing that because of your reaction to the divorce?
    Yeah, pretty much. I've changed a lot since then, and apparently she hasn't thought it was for the better. Oh well, what are you going to do?
    Quote Originally Posted by Joehobo View Post
    Yeah, it seems to be that way. Our poor little souls being repeatedly trampled on. Are we just playing victim or do we need to be this way.
    Haha, good question. It was a question, right? It sure seemed like one, despite the period, albeit maybe a rhetorical one.
    ...

  3. #13
    Senior Member Joehobo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrinth View Post
    Yeah, pretty much. I've changed a lot since then, and apparently she hasn't thought it was for the better. Oh well, what are you going to do?


    Haha, good question. It was a question, right? It sure seemed like one, despite the period, albeit maybe a rhetorical one.
    Do you feel you've changed for the better? Ha, maybe because after putting you through that your attitude towards her grew worse. You just can't please some people.

    Ah yes it was a question, I'll edit it.
    Whats your thought on it?

  4. #14
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    My immediate family complains that I'm too negative & critical. I tend to see the glass half full in regards to the present, and this can spill over into my view of the future if I'm having trouble finding any hope.

    On the other hand, I can be really idealistic & only see positive potential if something seems to relate to an ideal, which often sets me up for great disappointment later. This is basically a cycle I go through... it seems like the times of dejection last the longest though. I think cynicism is aimed to be a self-protection from that disappointment, so I don't fall so hard when it doesn't work out. A part of me is desperately hoping something will work out or even naively expecting it to, & another part of me is dismissively saying, "Get real & prepare to be let down".
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #15
    Senior Member Joehobo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    My immediate family complains that I'm too negative & critical. I tend to see the glass half full in regards to the present, and this can spill over into my view of the future if I'm having trouble finding any hope.

    On the other hand, I can be really idealistic & only see positive potential if something seems to relate to an ideal, which often sets me up for great disappointment later. This is basically a cycle I go through... it seems like the times of dejection last the longest though. I think cynicism is aimed to be a self-protection from that disappointment, so I don't fall so hard when it doesn't work out. A part of me is desperately hoping something will work out or even naively expecting it to, & another part of me is dismissively saying, "Get real & prepare to be let down".
    I bet that tends to grate your nerves a little. I find being told you are a pessimistic person to be like a smack in the face, just because you don't see it yourself.

    Have you found a balance where you just have realistic expectations, and switch off that idealistic view that just keeps putting you in those cycles? I can really relate with what you have described here. It is a frustrating process. That end bit bolded - that took the words right out of me haha.

  6. #16
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joehobo View Post
    A rather positive light you're putting this in, I've always thought it to be a negative trait to be cynical but I guess I could just be looking at it all wrong. It seems like an inherent flaw in idealists, the idea of having to become that way sounds depressing just so we can conform and be socially acceptable, is this really the best road to go down? Lately I've been told by those close to me that I'm becoming less of how I used to be, and more cynical in nature. Yet I feel that because of those same people I'm heading in that direction so I can't help but think that the problem is us to begin with or we just need to be around more like minded people to keep ourselves intact - so to speak.
    Is this just how we are all ment to grow into?

    It is epic humour, painful to differentiate on the interwebz though haha.
    What? You mean you were getting all cynical about cynicism?

    Well, I have a upbeat cynicism; I'm negative but in the best possible way. I don't know if being around like-minded people will help; personally I've been conditioned to use cynical humour and it's hard to snap out of it. And at times it's taken way too far and I sometimes feel like it's more of a nervous reaction to my lack of appropriate communication skills.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    My immediate family complains that I'm too negative & critical. I tend to see the glass half full in regards to the present, and this can spill over into my view of the future if I'm having trouble finding any hope.
    Yeah. I mean, isn't cynicism against the law in America?
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  7. #17
    Senior Member Joehobo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    What? You mean you were getting all cynical about cynicism?

    Well, I have a upbeat cynicism; I'm negative but in the best possible way. I don't know if being around like-minded people will help; personally I've been conditioned to use cynical humour and it's hard to snap out of it. And at times it's taken way too far and I sometimes feel like it's more of a nervous reaction to my lack of appropriate communication skills.


    Yeah. I mean, isn't cynicism against the law in America?
    Haha, I guess I was!

    Same goes for you, an upbeat cynicism? Sooo you are an optimistic cynic? :P
    Hm maybe. Do you think they'd just let you down just as much? Man. Balancing expectation seems ridiculously hard.
    What made you conditioned to it? Care to give an example of one of these nervous reactions?

  8. #18
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joehobo View Post
    Same goes for you, an upbeat cynicism? Sooo you are an optimistic cynic? :P
    Hm maybe. Do you think they'd just let you down just as much? Man. Balancing expectation seems ridiculously hard.
    Sort of. I never fully lose hope, even though I dramatically throw my hands up in despair on a regular basis.

    Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

    What made you conditioned to it? Care to give an example of one of these nervous reactions?
    I suppose what conditioned me was the sort of derision I encountered in response to my intense earnestness when I was younger. Cynical humour seemed to help with social interaction, and at the same time it allowed me to remain authentic to my inner self. I suppose I latched onto something like that; something that helped me connect and communicate my thoughts and feelings to others in a socially appropriate way. Unfortunately I've taken it too far and now I struggle to go back to earnestness.

    An example? I suppose I'm not good at telling the people close to me how much I care about them, so I engage in cynical banter with them instead. Like I said, I don't know how to switch back to heartfelt expression. I have been trying to work on this lately though...
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  9. #19
    Senior Member Joehobo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Sort of. I never fully lose hope, even though I dramatically throw my hands up in despair on a regular basis.

    Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

    I suppose what conditioned me was the sort of derision I encountered in response to my intense earnestness when I was younger. Cynical humour seemed to help with social interaction, and at the same time it allowed me to remain authentic to my inner self. I suppose I latched onto something like that; something that helped me connect and communicate my thoughts and feelings to others in a socially appropriate way. Unfortunately I've taken it too far and now I struggle to go back to earnestness.

    An example? I suppose I'm not good at telling the people close to me how much I care about them, so I engage in cynical banter with them instead. Like I said, I don't know how to switch back to heartfelt expression. I have been trying to work on this lately though...
    I hate the sound of being bent to appease others though that doesn't seem to be the case with you, the conditioning itself sucks but atleast you found a middle ground in staying true to you.
    I get what you mean with the earnestness. Actually I feel the same way about that to be honest. Now I just get told I'm pessimistic but I don't feel like that is true at all.

    I found switching back just made for sloppy expression, people get taken aback and sometimes react in a way you really don't anticipate/want, hashing it out still though haha.

  10. #20
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joehobo View Post
    I found switching back just made for sloppy expression, people get taken aback and sometimes react in a way you really don't anticipate/want, hashing it out still though haha.
    Yeah, this is the other problem: getting put off yet again by shitty responses. Damned if you do, damned if you don't...
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] Questions for and about INFPs.
    By Cindyrella in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 234
    Last Post: 12-12-2017, 09:46 AM
  2. [INFP] INFPs, is that you?
    By Tayshaun in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 06-14-2015, 07:52 PM
  3. [INFP] Questions for INFPs about INFPs
    By marm in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 01-02-2010, 01:48 AM
  4. [INFP] Cynical INFPs
    By dynamiteninja in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 09-09-2009, 03:08 AM
  5. [INFP] INFPs cynics
    By Gengar in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 05-07-2009, 05:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO