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Thread: Nonsocial ENFPs

  1. #41
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default More talking about ME an ENFP (that rhymes)

    Quote Originally Posted by nemo View Post
    That's why ENPs are usually so ho-hum in ordinary situations: it's hard for Ne to activate.
    You know, your comments (here and on other threads) about why ENFPs seem so 'unENFP' have been very enlightening to me. I've often wondered in social situations or just out and about running errands -- why aren't I making more small talk? And when I see people being really extroverted and chatty and loud or entertaining people or telling their life storie to random sales clerks and waiters I think -- why aren't I doing that? Am I supposed to be doing that? I think I'm supposed to be doing that -- I'm ENFP aren't I???

    I thought maybe I was a repressed or non-higher functioning ENFP. I think there is still some vestiges of social conditioning and negative experiences I'm trying to shake off at the same time.

    But -- it's nice to know there is a typological explanation as well. And a new theory I hadn't read up on elsewhere. Thanks Nemo!

    I also think my ideas of 'extroversion' are very American culture based on classic ESFJ or ESXP archetype. I definitely do a lot of sizing up and observation when I first meet people and am put in new situations and also believe in propriety to a greater extent than my age peers. And it's true, I don't feel my switches being flipped on all the time. At the same time, there are definitely situations where you have to rein in the ENXP-ness or just get looks and people slowly backing away from you -- just like how any type or person has to modify themselves to get along in the social world.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  2. #42
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss/Mr Phoenix
    Cze Cze, you've piqued my interest... what is this fear of which you speak? I don't believe I have it, so maybe it's not a common ENFP thing...?
    You don't? LUCKY.

    I have vestiges of social anxiety as an adolescent to early adult. Being around people could make me physically panic -- and in totally normal everday situations like waiting on the sidewalk for the bus or walking up the stairs to get to class (and I went to a small highschool). Through it all, I must have worn out my poor adrenal glands. :P So in other words "I ha[d] issues" -- hahaahahah -- but have dealt with the bulk of it...(Yes, I have!!!)

    I'm not sure how related/exacerbated etc. being ENFP had with this or how this has all played itself out in my personality makeup. How much was unusual life circumstances? Chemical/hormonal imbalances? Etc.

    Part of the fun of being on a site like this to pic everyone's brains and lurk hear from others.

    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    Of course there's no people that have like ZERO social interaction, but certains behaviors could be considered nonsocial, like CzeCze's room lurking!


    Damn you Noz

    Seriously, how do you know? Does it show up??? OMG, I thought I freakin' blocked it!!!

    I mean...

    I don't lurk.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Reaction to CC1's post
    Now I'm confused...so you related to what I said? Or you didn't? I don't get emoticon humor sometimes...



    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  3. #43
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Why do ENFPs need lot's of time alone? Isn't that so they can work out the next conspiracy to make them feel alone? That must take some thinking time

    Seriously though I'm figuring that as with other type it's possible to get non people focused ENFPs. It's not that they're nonsocial as such, just that people don't fascinate them. At which point if they are smarter than the general populace then it's highly possible that what interests them is above the normal conversation of people which will only serve to further demotivate the ENFP from making contact.

    Oh I do also agree with CzeCze. ENFPs could do with more than a couple of NT friends. Not so they feel like outcasts but just so the fluff is neatly trimmed for later in life (that sounds so dodgy...).

    Ah and the particular subject I have in mind is an ENFP friend of mine who's being reclusive at the moment. It's not really helping him or energising him except to do the projects he sets himself to avoid the one's that really need tackling.

    It's kind of a shame that the MBTI doesn't give more guidance on where to slap a certain type to get them to open their eyes.. I'll find out but no doubt I'll be put to the flame before I find out. Good thing I'm fire retardant these days.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #44
    Member illume's Avatar
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    I work in a Corporate setting with close to 500 employees. I am easily one of the most well-known, gregarious and probably the most popular person here. I know how to make people laugh, am good at listening to problems and am even popular with the stuffed shirts. I am an advocate for the employees and generally am fond of most of the people here. However, my true friends number about two and when I leave here for the day I am the most introverted person on the planet. I refuse to leave my home, answer the phone, attend functions or even watch televison (unless scientific in nature). I am not social unless my job forces me to be otherwise.

    I was always very shy and made myself extrovert so that I could function more comfortably in the world. I would not classify myself as a true extrovert. I spend many hours daily ruminating. I could not function otherwise.

  5. #45
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Now I'm confused...so you related to what I said? Or you didn't? I don't get emoticon humor sometimes...



    Lol, I disturbingly related to your post!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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  6. #46
    Senior Member sriv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Why do ENFPs need lot's of time alone? Isn't that so they can work out the next conspiracy to make them feel alone? That must take some thinking time

    Seriously though I'm figuring that as with other type it's possible to get non people focused ENFPs. It's not that they're nonsocial as such, just that people don't fascinate them. At which point if they are smarter than the general populace then it's highly possible that what interests them is above the normal conversation of people which will only serve to further demotivate the ENFP from making contact.

    Oh I do also agree with CzeCze. ENFPs could do with more than a couple of NT friends. Not so they feel like outcasts but just so the fluff is neatly trimmed for later in life (that sounds so dodgy...).

    It's kind of a shame that the MBTI doesn't give more guidance on where to slap a certain type to get them to open their eyes.. I'll find out but no doubt I'll be put to the flame before I find out. Good thing I'm fire retardant these days.
    Nice description. I completely agree.

    My ENFP friend is very intellectual and conversations that do not get deep, go fast, or are stimulating enough for him, he MAKES them go that way. He turns instead to aggression, hedonism for stimulation, and "saying stuff to see their reaction".

    Yep, that's where the rant threads come in handy. I thrive under fire.
    Reyson: ...If you were to change your ways, I'm sure we could rebuild the relationship the two of us once shared.

    Naesala: Oh no, that I could never do. You see, humans are essential to the fulfillment of my ambitions.

    Reyson: You've changed, Naesala. If this is the path you've chosen, I've nothing left to say.

  7. #47
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by illume View Post
    I work in a Corporate setting with close to 500 employees. I am easily one of the most well-known, gregarious and probably the most popular person here. I know how to make people laugh, am good at listening to problems and am even popular with the stuffed shirts. I am an advocate for the employees and generally am fond of most of the people here. However, my true friends number about two and when I leave here for the day I am the most introverted person on the planet. I refuse to leave my home, answer the phone, attend functions or even watch televison (unless scientific in nature). .
    I can relate very much to this post even if I'm not the most popular person in my workplace. I'm very social at the workplace and I am constantly talking with somebody and I love to talk with lots of different kinds of people most of the workday. So I use most of my workdays talking with somebody and it energizes me very much. But...

    ...when I get home I'm very much what was described up there. I am in a way very private person and I am not willing to let too many people close to me. Only few are close to me and I prefer to keep it that way. I very much want to keep my freedom and I hate clingy and boring people and very few people can be friends with me the way I prefer it and not to bore me in the long run.

    So, I am the weirdest combination of overly social and nonsocial person. I am very open but I am very cohesive at the same time. I let people know stuff about me but I wont let them really know me. I trust people too much but on the other hand I really trust only very few people. These traits of me can be confusing to people and many people have misunderstood my openness and friendliness just to find out that I wont let them "in" to my life or even to my home. But it's just who I am and I do understand if I seem confusing to people because I can confuse even myself.

  8. #48
    Member Battle's Avatar
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    ::lurking::

    and finding out I'm really NOT weird.

    thank the lord.

    sorry i don't have anything intelligent to add to the discussion, I'm just finding out all these things about myself right now and its kicking me in my ass.

    I'd like to be able to add something, but I'm still learning and all i can really say is...

    "hey... thats ME"

  9. #49
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    "hey... thats ME"
    The joy of MBTI!
    ANFP:
    Extraversion (52%) ---- Introversion (48%)
    Sensing (26%) ---- iNtuition (74%)
    Thinking (16%) ---- Feeling (84%)
    Judging (5%) ---- Perceiving (95%)

    9w1 so/sx/sp

  10. #50
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by illume View Post
    I work in a Corporate setting with close to 500 employees. I am easily one of the most well-known, gregarious and probably the most popular person here. I know how to make people laugh, am good at listening to problems and am even popular with the stuffed shirts. I am an advocate for the employees and generally am fond of most of the people here. However, my true friends number about two and when I leave here for the day I am the most introverted person on the planet. I refuse to leave my home, answer the phone, attend functions or even watch televison (unless scientific in nature). I am not social unless my job forces me to be otherwise.

    I was always very shy and made myself extrovert so that I could function more comfortably in the world. I would not classify myself as a true extrovert. I spend many hours daily ruminating. I could not function otherwise.
    How do you do this dual nature thing without your coworkers resenting that you don't spend time with them after hours? I've tried this all my life, thinking maybe if I was extra friendly during the workday, I could get away with being my introverted, asocial self at home. But people are mistrustful of that, and they get their feelings hurt. Even if I explain I'm just not very social. B/c they think I'm social at work, so I must just not like them. GAH, people!

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