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  1. #1
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Unhappy Misery of Idealism? Hypersensitivity to Sin

    Are you NFs absolutely paralysed by any thing wrong or evil when you are exposed to it? That includes the evil inside of yourself.
    Last week, I did something bad, but it was an accident, and it wasn't meant to hurt anyone, and the people involved knew it. Well, I felt miserable and humbled for days. I felt like I wasn't worthy to be alive. I felt like the world would be better off without me.
    In the same way, when I meet aggressive or manipulative people, my stomach and heart turn upside down and I feel miserable. I've read many times that NFs were like sponges, they would just absorb everything emotional in the flow of life. The same way we can be profoundly happy and exalted in a way few types possibly can, we are intolerant to evil to a point where living in this sinful world feels like inhabiting a huge sewer. I even feel guilty about someone else's sin, sometimes.

    At the same time, being a Christian, I believe God wants people to be aware of how ugly evil is so we will repent and aspire to sanctification.
    Loving and caring the way NFs do will hurt, but as C. S. Lewis says: "Hell is the only place outside of Heaven where we can be safe from the dangers of love." (The Four loves)

    I love this quote from Julie Ackerman Link's booklet Loving God with all my heart: "When we choose to feel the full range of our emotions -even sadness- we come to a fuller understanding of the God who created us in His image -the God who feels."

    What do you think ?

  2. #2
    Senior Member WobblyStilettos's Avatar
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    I agree completely! I tend to find I am more affected by various emotions floating around than the people around me seem to be. Sometimes something might happen that just shocks me and makes me feel sick but other's just brush it off and don't really think it's a big deal. I think the reason us NFs can be so incredibly happy is because we know what it is to be incredibly sad, I heard a great quote once... -goes to find it-... I failed but it was something along the lines of "the deeper sadness hollows out your heart, the more happiness you can hold" or words to that effect xD
    Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I have a similar feeling, but it's more due to the inconsistency people exhibiting between their professed beliefs (what they know/believe is right) versus what they actually do or say.

    I remember flagellating myself in my teens, because of how flawed and inconsistent I was... I would even punish myself, when no one else even knew something was wrong. And I would also judge others in authority, even if I never told them; I was very harsh (inwardly). And would sometimes drop into deep depression over it... because people in charge or even occasionally someone I admired had failed me.

    I can understand the "sewer" analogy, I just don't have the same sense of personal revulsion now. I fully accept that we are all flawed... and sometimes very very ugly. But often it's because we can't do better at the time.

    IOW, the black is part of an overarching narrative of each individual life as well as the culture and even world. What matters is the context of the darkness -- is it a necessary part of someone's journey towards the light, or is it leading even further into the mire without possibility of redemption? The latter is what depresses me; I find I can accept a lot if the person is moving FORWARD ultimately. Heart and motivation is everything to me. Maybe that is a more deterministic stance in some ways, but I don't mean to "minimize" evil... evil is BAD and painful. But if it's unavoidable, and if it's part of a journey towards light... then I can't focus on it as the priority, as something alive in itself.

    It sounds to me like NF more typically personalizes the darkness and has a visceral reaction to it. Do you think that is true?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I absolutely MUST avoid certain situations because the shock of how appalling people can be to each other will make me physically ill, sometimes for days on end. You know that man they just busted in Austria for holding his daughter hostage in a basement for 20 years and fathering 6 children by her?? I could NOT walk that off, it made me so mad and so grieved for that woman. It literally RUINED my mood for the rest of the day. How hideous fiends like that can live and not be struck dead is just beyond me. I felt the ruination of the woman's life very deeply because it seems the highest level of violation to totally rob someone of their independence and waste their time on earth by imposing your will on them without possibility of escape. I wanted to fly to Austria and kick that horrible man until he fell down.

    I have no choice about being affected by something, so I have to control my exposure.

    And yes, I used to flog myself pretty hard when I messed up, in any capacity. It was all out of proportion to the crime usually, but I felt as if I, among all people, should always be able to control myself or act right or never entertain - much less act on- a less than noble urge. If I did something accidentally, I beat myself even harder, as if I had the power to stop what happened when I clearly didn't. I think that may be endemic with NFs.
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  5. #5
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It sounds to me like NF more typically personalizes the darkness and has a visceral reaction to it. Do you think that is true?
    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I have no choice about being affected by something, so I have to control my exposure.

    And yes, I used to flog myself pretty hard when I messed up, in any capacity. It was all out of proportion to the crime usually, but I felt as if I, among all people, should always be able to control myself or act right or never entertain - much less act on- a less than noble urge. If I did something accidentally, I beat myself even harder, as if I had the power to stop what happened when I clearly didn't. I think that may be endemic with NFs.
    Hard to state it any better than Jennifer and Pink did. Negative emotionally charged situations bring a big dark cloud over me, and I have two options... a) fix it and make things better or b) escape. a) is always preferable, but when it's just not possible, it comes down to controlling exposure, as Pink puts it. And still, it's likely to keep me upset and edgy for the rest of the day (occasionally longer).

  6. #6
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Over the years, I've developed some defense mechanisms that allow me to survive my own mind. I still have to guard myself to some degree, though. I rarely watch TV news for that reason. I don't know if this is the best thing, but I need to survive and my family needs me to survive, so it just has to do, even if it's not the ideal spiritually and developmentally.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #7
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I find I can accept a lot if the person is moving FORWARD ultimately.

    It sounds to me like NF more typically personalizes the darkness and has a visceral reaction to it. Do you think that is true?
    For me, it is definitely a motivation to move forward. I would even feel more miserable if I wasn't doing anything. I feel the worst when I can't do anything. When I do the best I can, I feel some kind of relief.

    I agree with the idea that I personalize the darkness (I speak for myself), and this is because NFs care about people so much. I believe in Satan and demons, and ultimately God and Heaven, and godly Judgment. Otherwise, I'd go mad, I suppose. Things would make no sense.
    This week I read a post where the NF claimed he couldn't go to sleep easily, and many NFs replied it was the same for them.
    I have a remedy: prayer. To me, prayer allows me to do something, even when I can't in the physical world. I pray when I get up and when I go to bed, and that allows me to cast my cares upon Jesus. He told us to... The Almighty can do what we can't do, and he is our best ally. I have had a lot of good experiences with wonderful answers to prayer, so it keeps me hoping.

  8. #8
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    I'm not really bothered when I encounter things that most people would consider "evil" anymore. Of course, I've been exposed to a lot, so I guess I could be considered jaded.

    I was shaken about a year ago to the very core by something a friend of mine admitted to doing. For three days I was vomiting and crying because I was so torn about how to deal with it. Eventually I had to make one of the hardest choices of my life and I turned him into the police.

    I'm often upset by Nancy Grace, but that is more of an unbridled rage at her lack of ethics and disgusting disregard for the feelings of victims and their families.

    I also imagine aspects of myself being "demonic" but not in the religious sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  9. #9
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Shit happens. I'm sorry if you think bad things shouldn't happen to good people (I don't wish it on anybody) but it does anyways. It's more important to think about what you can do to correct things and prevent it from happening again than brooding over how "there's evil in the world". Just my thoughts.

  10. #10
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    I don't get what's up with this Christian stuff, but whatever lets you sleep at night.

    I'm going to have to go with nighting. It may sound callous, but it's true. Shit happens, bad things happen to good people, etc. You've got to focus on concentrating your efforts and doing what you can, in the process being very discriminate in who you decide to help. Certain people are going to get helped, certain people aren't, but it really doesn't pay to do such things by half-measures.

    Umm, yeah. Do the best you can. Keep fighting, idealists. If you organize your ranks, you may just save the world one day, like you've always been meaning to...
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

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