I'm an INFP and I'm an idiot 'cause I care about what people think of me. And I'm sure I'm an INFP, not another meat suit fits.
How can you INFPs really put on that flaccid face, and that happy go-lucky rose colored view of the world? How do you manage what other people think, all those people who put pessimistic limiting crap on everything you believe, and then have that "oh, look pretty lights" type attitude to end the day off with?
I just got off with on argument with some "friend" I talked to, at least that's what I thought he was. Now, I won't ever speak to him again, and I'll elaborate dw.
He has this false belief that somehow I am an arrogant ass, and keep attacking people making "smart ass" remarks, for whenever I'm around his friends and they ignore me for that reason. I see his point when coming to his friends ignoring me, - because I've noticed they do and I'm actually happier that's cleared up, and it's ot cause I'm a crap talker it's just that they hate me. But the thing I don't get is why they'd respond like that to my jokes, - yes, my random meaningless jokes - not about their dead grandmas or anything either... just jokes like 'you're a potato' - seriously that's what set this 'friend' off. What is it with the people around me, even the people closest to me, who take these small details I could not possibly pay attention to and go on wild tangents about my character, when they cannot even realize there own major flaws in character, and expect me to break my back trying to mend for these people when they won't and cannot ever reciprocate, even if they tried their best.
I seriously don't know who I am anymore, to be honest, maybe I'm just so far from any mentality to give a crap about whether I'm me or not, and I frankly can't express myself anymore like I used to. I feel like I'm going crazy here. I get angry at them all the time, and feel like there is possibly no way for me to be myself, unless I explode in their face, and that has happened. The reason why this friend was originally mad was because I exploded in physics class with some popular dude, he claims to "know". But somehow me yelling at him for being an arse pissed this friend off more than it actually pissed the guy I was yelling at off.
Is this an INFP thing? I'm guessing not, how the hell am I a "dick" when all I'm try to make conversations better- and STAND up for myself. And I honestly pay much more attention to what I say then they do, but all they want from me is to do what they expect me to do, and shut my fucking mouth, and nod to every bullshit flaw they have, and not say or do a thing. For someone who gives a load about what other people think, who has the psychological problem to not be able to give a crap about what other people think, having them think you're a tool and a total arse is the most painful thing.
I really don't get these forums either, and I really don't care if I made your day any worse, because I don't know you and you don't know anyone that is here either. Sorry to burst that bubble, - seriously are the people here too cool to post on my wallpost? It's seriously what I'm talking about, that bullshit that somehow there's this underlying motive behind every little thing I do that I need to answer to but you guys can get off quite goddam well, without a care in the world. But for you guys, the truth is you're sitting behind a computer, figuring some imaginary image of yourself while typing out words on a machine. There is no connection or intercommunity here, it's all bullshit for starters, so don't give me that pissed off outlook, cause i honestly don't care anymore. I honestly don't know why I'm writing this anyway...