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[MBTI General] short rant on NFs

BerberElla

12 and a half weeks
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,725
MBTI Type
infp
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.

No, NF's can be loyal and not flighty, it just depends how much they value you, hence why they hold onto shitty relationships for so long compared to how flighty and unloyal they seem at others.

If an NF really cares about you they will be loyal and commited, but you have to have buried your way deep into their heart to get that kind of commitment, or at least that's how it is with me. (INFP)

I'm very flighty friendship wise, and only a very few have ever mattered that much to me, recently I fly before anyone can become a true friend to me because I don't want to be loyal, to care or commit to anyone.

I have wanted shallow non hurtful and quick connections. The potential to be a deeper friend is certainly there, but you have to matter.

They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

That's not true to me, but I always find the "NF" bunching wierd because not all NF's are anywhere near alike.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".

That's an over exaggerated comment to make, if someone saved my life I wouldn't ever stop (I would hope unless they screwed it up) valuing their friendship. It's all about the value placed on the person in question. If you have connected with me in a way that makes me care, then the only time I will get rid of you is after years of you letting me down.
 

littledarling

New member
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
78
MBTI Type
INFJ
How do you know he would be incorrect to say he hasn't been those things? Is that an exercise to make your actions more palatable to yourself?

Maybe he hasn't done ALL of those things, but as I stated previously, EVERYONE is selfish. I'm not placing judgement on whether it's right or not, just simply that it is. I don't defend my less desirable traits as palatable, I only state that they are not uncommon and anyone who is so arrogant, not to mention naive, to claim that they themselves have not at least equal, possibly different faults ought to learn some grace.

Also, this is not neccessarily directed towards anyone. It's just one very small opinion.
 

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
Ah. I took it from his posts that these were the specific types of selfishness, not that others are not selfish. I asked because those listed above could be absent in one person, though other flaws or types of selfishness are there.
 

littledarling

New member
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
78
MBTI Type
INFJ
Ah. I took it from his posts that these were the specific types of selfishness, not that others are not selfish. I asked because those listed above could be absent in one person, though other flaws or types of selfishness are there.

Yes, I agree with you. I suppose I was looking at it as a bigger picture.
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
That's not true to me, but I always find the "NF" bunching wierd because not all NF's are anywhere near alike.


I've heard NFs on my INFP forums saying that they feel out of place even among other INFPs! :D
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
MBTI Type
XNFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Ha, Ha, I'm all of those things....and I'm not justifying myself, because I feel good with that.
Seriously, though, unless some one is willing to listen my crap, it's all about them. I think I can put aside my ego, when I'm needed. Oh god I'm talking about myself right now!:shock:
I don't get upset at posts like that, because, sometimes it's true. I is a bit flakey, and selfish, unless I think someone deserves my selfless devotion, then I'm none of things...I'll drag my self out of my sick bed, if I think I could spare them a moments pain. I'll drive them to them to accident and emergency, even though I'm completely terrified of getting behind the wheel...more actions than actual words.
All though that may be my great failing, not verbalising, not communicating.
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
2 things surprise me about this thread:

1) I read it.
2) People are actually seriously responding to it. It's a RANT. Clearly all NFs aren't flighty self-centered, flaky lame-o ditziepoops. Nor are those traits exclusive to any type (except "human"). Dude(tte)'s just ranting. What's to discuss?

hehe, I find some seem to be and I'm an NF, is that bad? The difference is I know they seem that on a superficial level sometimes, but I have met zero who aren't extremely deep and complex people. And I've met zero who aren't highly insightful and intelligent and aware.
 

celiapleete

New member
Joined
Nov 6, 2008
Messages
17
MBTI Type
INFP
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

FALSE! I'm quite aware of my priorities, it's finding people who fit them that's difficult. And I have several very close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

Themselves. Themself is not a word. And no, I listen to people yammer on for hours, all the time.


However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.

Nope. Fear of hurting the other person's feelings, wondering what the consequences of said hurt feelings would be. Fear of hurting your own feelings by hurting someone else.

They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

Wrong. Emotional equality, sharing trust. Willing to listen to others' problems AT LENGTH.


These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".

Blah blah. Someone got hurt. Want to tell me what happened?
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-oriented" a lot of them don't have many close friends.

IME SPs and SJs are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Guarantee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themselves.

However, NFs are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.


They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And the next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themselves and start over".

How serious are we supposed to take this? Anyway... Spelling corrections and minor punctuation corrections are in bold. Considering your level of effort, I didn't bother aiding your grammatical errors under the premise it could be poetic license.

Best of luck with your aimless querulous pot-stirring.
 

Sunshine8

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
42
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Dude...try a different perspective...

Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.


They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".

What in hell did YOU do to the NF? Most NFs are very aware of emotional injustice/unkindness and will not be happy about it. If you have prompted an NF to do the runner...they are probably...running...for...a...reason...

:devil:
 

G-Virus

Broud Balestinian
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
672
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
2
Well, I for one tend to think that F type people are the better end of the bargain, be it NF or SF. Humanity would not survive without such souls.

Just wanted to put that out there.
 

lane777

nevermore
Joined
Oct 23, 2008
Messages
635
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

I have many close friends, who I have known over an extended period... Samantha - 5 years, Anastasia - 6 years, Lydia - 15 years, Celine - 17 years.

If these girls don't drop me, I'm planning on knowing them forever :blush:

Several other friendships I have are all intimate... I do not have any casual friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

I rarely offer information about myself unless grilled. Most of my friends do the talking (which is not a complaint), I eagerly soak it up. I think what you may be referring to here are the extroverts... most of my extrovert friends focus on themselves for a topic (also not a complaint).
 

alcea rosea

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
3,658
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Are NF's loyal? IME... No. They are flighty. Never have their priorities straight. For people who are so "people-orientated" a lot of them dont have many close friends.

IME Sp and Sj are far more loyal. Sticking with their true friends when they most need them. NFs are so wrapped up in themselves. I think they are the most selfish people out there. Ever talk to an NF on the phone? Garauntee the conversation will always find a way back to the NF's favorite topic.... themself.

However, NF's are prone to the "holding onto a shitty relationship way too long" syndrome. Could that even be considered loyal? It seems like something else to me. Neediness, clinginess. Not loyalty.


They're also hypocrites. Will leech onto you and depend on you for everything. For emotional stability. For friendship. Will want to share their whole life with you. They want to tell you all their problems. But as soon as you need them for something, it's never as important as when THEY have a problem.

These are the type of people... You could save their life one day. And they next day they would end your friendship because they need to "find themself and start over".

I disagree strongly with what u are saying but of course I'm the flighty and hypocrite ENFP who do not take too seriously what you are writing... :newwink:
 

Gamine

in-game
Joined
Nov 2, 2008
Messages
810
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w2
Hey sakuraba,

I'm really sorry you have had these rough experiences. Having friends who do not see as much value in you as you place in them is really saddening. Without any intention of making you more upset or frustrated, could you imagine the possibility that you were the factor that finally had someone end these relationships for a reason? Most of the NF's I know (the developed and underdeveloped ones) have strong values that lead them to "toughing it out" in relationships romantic and friendship because they see the potential for growth personally and interpersonally. For a person (And this can apply to any type at all) who recognizes the consequences of their decisions on the other person in a relationship, ending something dangerous and unhealthy can become very difficult. Even and especially when all logic points to run. If person A's life was rescued by person B, but person B was just not the right fit for person A, does A owe B a lifetime of accepting whatever treatment (healthy or abusive) they throw their way?

There is a difference between loyalty and finding the right fit with people.

I hope you are less ranty and more peaceful now about your experience. All the best!
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
Oh, you NFs. sakuraba was probably drunk when he/she wrote this, and has been banned for a couple of weeks.

Oh, lol, also, sakuraba is most likely ENFP.
 

Simplexity

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,741
MBTI Type
INTP
Is ENFP.

An NTP would have switched to different flaming tactics.

They hate the same old boring thing.
 

zarc

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
2,629
MBTI Type
Zzzz
I'm sure sakuraba has been confined to the graveyard before, though probably not for this thread.


+ NF People, it was many months ago when this thread began... The fight is over.
 

Gamine

in-game
Joined
Nov 2, 2008
Messages
810
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w2
......there is no fight we care about this person's problem...........


I think I just NF'd all over myself.....
 
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