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[MBTI General] Fs are dishonest to spare feelings Js are brutally honest Y or N

yupitsme

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
24
MBTI Type
intx
Is this about right?

BTW most people dont like me especially Fs because I let it fly as a public service because I think its noble to speak the unfettered truth.

It is not received well. This frustrates me. I have been thick about it but bullshitting for the sake of feelings seems so insulting and disrepsectful.

This is my quandry.

Does anyone feel for me or am I just another unfeeling bastard in your opinion?
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
nope that's pretty much bullshit.
 

UniqueMixture

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
estj
Enneagram
378
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
There are ways to be be honest and spare people's feelings.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
when I lie its most likely to spare a conflict.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I think you are trying to come up with a reason to make yourself feel better about not being able to control yourself.

If I think I should smack everyone who is a douchebag in the face I might end up with some people who aren't very happy with me, even if they deserved it.

I think it's interesting that often people say they 'speak the truth' to other people but they really can't handle someone speaking the truth to them. Usually when someone speaks the truth to them they will ignore the entire encounter by making up a reason the person doesn't actually know what they are talking about. Which, in itself, is a way of not being able to take the truth.

"Oh those silly F's"
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
nope that's pretty much bullshit.
Indeed!

And here is a small sample of the many reasons why:

1) Dishonesty is not type-related. Some would argue that "authenticity" might be, and I think that's bullshit too, but even those people split the "authenticity" line between Fe and Fi, and NOT F and T.

2) Brutal honesty is generally -- though not always! -- characteristic of Ts and FPs. Consider IxFJs. They are the least brutally honest people around. And they're Js.

Where did you get the idea that J had anything to do with that? I don't mean to be rude, but it seems like a pretty random idea that came from no type resource I've ever seen before.
 

DiscoBiscuit

Meat Tornado
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
14,794
Enneagram
8w9
In response to the OP:

I wouldn't call it dishonest. (if you can read people, you'll realize they're being honest even when they lie)

Their understanding of the situation is a little different.

I don't expect everyone to act like a J, just so long as they don't expect me to act like whatever they are.
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Does anyone feel for me or am I just another unfeeling bastard in your opinion?

I am an IxFJ and I do not feel for you.

(Am I being honest or not? ;) )
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
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784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Indeed!

And here is a small sample of the many reasons why:

1) Dishonesty is not type-related. Some would argue that "authenticity" might be, and I think that's bullshit too, but even those people split the "authenticity" line between Fe and Fi, and NOT F and T.

2) Brutal honesty is generally -- though not always! -- characteristic of Ts and FPs. Consider IxFJs. They are the least brutally honest people around. And they're Js.

Where did you get the idea that J had anything to do with that? I don't mean to be rude, but it seems like a pretty random idea that came from no type resource I've ever seen before.

right...i tend to think it has more to do with ones social skills. their upbringing possibly...mixed with their values

but if we want to assign a function to it i guess you could say te...te doms being way more "brutal" about it then say an exfp
or you could say...in defense of a group a fe dom will let you have it pretty brutally too

a fi dom will likely be kind about it...unless they don't value you or the place you're speaking from

okay getting bored now...i'll go with my original answer of nope it's bs
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
'Brutal' honesty is just as damaging as 'sparing feelings'.

They are both forms of dishonesty.
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
It made me think of this quote from a while back, "Always question authority, especially YOUR OWN."

Honestly, people who are convinced they have some superior edge on the truth, or that their truth must be everyones truth just irritate the shit out of me.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Is this about right?
BTW most people dont like me especially Fs because I let it fly as a public service because I think its noble to speak the unfettered truth.
It is not received well. This frustrates me. I have been thick about it but bullshitting for the sake of feelings seems so insulting and disrepsectful.
This is my quandry.
Does anyone feel for me or am I just another unfeeling bastard in your opinion?

I'm with [MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION] and [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION], this is complete BS. FPs are probably the least likely people to be emotionally dishonest
I suggest you do some research on the different cognitive functions, as they are much more important than any of the individual letters (which means little if anything)
 
G

garbage

Guest
Well

If one truly wants to spare another's feelings, they'll realize that the best way is usually to be balls-out honest in the first place rather than to bottle things up and have them explode or otherwise become uncovered in unhealthy ways down the road.

Also, there are usually ways to be diplomatic, which is typically a more effective way to communicate the same damn message.

Also, people will pretty much laugh at any sort of "I ain't give a fuck what y'all think, y'all ain't like it, TOO BAD!" sentiment.

There. There are some "thinker"esque arguments for why one should employ "feeling" techniques. Or something. Whatever.
 
G

garbage

Guest
Also, I totally notice that nobody in this thread is sparing the OP's feelings by being dishonest, saying anything along the lines of, "No, no of coouuurrse not, [MENTION=15000]yupitsme[/MENTION]; you're totally in the right! Screw everybody else! :hug:" They're all telling the truth as they see it, and they're mostly self-identified feelers.

I hope that the OP appreciates it!
 

DiscoBiscuit

Meat Tornado
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
14,794
Enneagram
8w9
Let me be the first to say that there are plenty of times that I'm emotionally dishonest with others.

I constantly act more interested in everyone else at the office than I would otherwise.

I realize that I work with mostly older women, and I need to play the "I give a shit about what you're saying charm game" in order to make strong business connections.

And I have been making strong business connections... especially lately.

That isn't to say I don't generally like the people I work with.

I just have to occasionally manufacture interest in their stories.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
Also, brutal honesty is usually not Truth but truth relative and subjective to one's perspective. I usually find it laughable when people say, "I am just being brutally honest" like they are the definitive source of all things true.
 
G

garbage

Guest
Granted, the OP is absolutely right in that it's disrespectful to hide one's perspective solely in order to spare another's feelings*. A lesson from Psychotherapy 101 right there.

*but, hell, doing exactly the polar opposite can be disrespectful, too.

Let me be the first to say that there are plenty of times that I'm emotionally dishonest with others.
Oh, yeah; me, too--I can relate to that whole shebang. When I'm in a cheerful mood, it's easier for me to "fake" or at least exaggerate a positive attitude toward other people.

Is it right? Maybe not, but here's some balls-out truth: a bit of 'politicking' is kinda necessary in this world.

I try my damndest not to do so with the people who are at all close to me, but sometimes it's inevitable. "I'm fine" is a way for me to say "I'm still processing something negative and I'd rather you not pry, thanks!" But often they end up picking up that that's what "I'm fine" means--or, even better, I can just outright state the latter because I can eventually trust that they actually won't pry. Wow, amazing!

My issue is mostly with..
Also, brutal honesty is usually not Truth but truth relative and subjective to one's perspective. I usually find it laughable when people say, "I am just being brutally honest" like they are the definitive source of all things true.
..God, this. It's with the people who outright state that they're "telling it like it is." "Can't handle the truth? Don't hang wit' me!"

Please. Their perspective is as limited as everyone else's; they could stand to be humbled just a teensy little bit.
 

herbpixie

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
88
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Is this about right?

BTW most people dont like me especially Fs because I let it fly as a public service because I think its noble to speak the unfettered truth.

It is not received well. This frustrates me. I have been thick about it but bullshitting for the sake of feelings seems so insulting and disrepsectful.

This is my quandry.

Does anyone feel for me or am I just another unfeeling bastard in your opinion?

I'm with everyone else. Not true. There is a way to be honest and not be mean about it. I worked with a woman who would say the nastiest things to people and follow it with, "I'm just honest, and people don't like that." What people didn't like was that she used "honesty" as a vehicle for bullying other people, which isn't honesty at all. It's just a nasty person with a superiority complex. Personally, I am a terrible liar, but I find ways to be honest in a diplomatic manner. Or I just shut up.
 
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