[INFP] Quirky INFP [Mainly for INFPs]

[flameskull95]

I've heard there's this characteristic quirkiness to infps around people that I've noticed people cite consistently in profiles and even in these forums. I, as an INFP guy, cannot relate to this concept at all in public. I confide in the idea that I have a big tendency to give into less facial expression and verbal expression, even to a point of monotonous voice.

When I'm around people I think this is due to their presence draining my energy. This I mean, are big extroverted groups of people who all go along like PB and J. Would other INFPs relate to this, or do I need to reconsider my type again?

 

[Southern Kross]

The weird-factor is kinda essential for INFP. You might not feel like you're particularly odd yourself, but by now you should have been on the receiving end of the perplexed looks, smirks/teasing and glares of annoyance, that comes with saying and doing out of place things. Fi original thinking plus Ne mental leaps makes for a lot of quirkiness and unconventional thought, and typically people aren't shy about pointing out just how abnormal it is. An INFP learns pretty quickly, that what makes perfect sense to them, is wacky and incomprehensible to others.

Poor communication skills and less consciousness and control over facial expression is also a rather Fi quality, I believe (or is it more generally Ji? I can't remember ). However, this isn't what people typically find strange in and of itself; a perceived incongruence between that demeanour and the content communicated will have more a quirky effect. Maybe, you are a ISFP instead.

 

[Elfa]

An INFP learns pretty quickly, that what makes perfect sense to them, is wacky and incomprehensible to others.

That's possibly why I learnt not to speak at all in most situations - so I guess most people found me quite boring, but I can't be sure. Well, it's something I've been dealing with, and I'm learning what I should or shouldn't speak in most situations, and it's getting easier. Maybe the OP feels something like that?

Still, when I'm around a few close friends, parents and specially my INTP SO, I get quite random and quirky - and my SO accompanies me in that, so it's a lot more fun. :3

 

[MissLizzy]

I would say that, yes, people think I'm quirky. I can show myself in strange ways, and I can't perceive it myself. It's friends and relatives that say to me about my "strange" stuff, some facial expressions, demeanour etc that I can't even notice. I keep to myself, but like it a lot, btw!

 

[OrangeAppled]

You might not feel like you're particularly odd yourself, but by now you should have been on the receiving end of the perplexed looks, smirks/teasing and glares of annoyance, that comes with saying and doing out of place things. Fi original thinking plus Ne mental leaps makes for a lot of quirkiness and unconventional thought, and typically people aren't shy about pointing out just how abnormal it is. An INFP learns pretty quickly, that what makes perfect sense to them, is wacky and incomprehensible to others.

Poor communication skills and less consciousness and control over facial expression is also a rather Fi quality, I believe (or is it more generally Ji? I can't remember ). However, this isn't what people typically find strange in and of itself; a perceived incongruence between that demeanour and the content communicated will have more a quirky effect. Maybe, you are a ISFP instead.

I agree with this... I don't experience myself as odd (except for social awkwardness), but I see in other's faces & attitudes towards me that they see me this way. It's not the overt, loud quirkiness of the ENFP though; we're not putting on shows to entertain. It's just that people peg us as "different" somehow. I've spent time being very confused over what it is about me that just doesn't quite fit...

With age, it's increasingly something I am admired for, which feels great! The sense of alienation has been eased. Growing up, I did feel ostracized slightly. I was never bullied, but I was definitely kept out of cliques, and as a loner, I was not interested in fighting my way in. I still see some people put-off by my oddness though, or they find my awkwardness too nerdy & are contemptuous of me.

However, ISFPs are often seen as odd too. My ISFP step-dad & another ISFP guy I know are considered "different" by people. It is perhaps when they are artists this is most true, and they are both artists.... plus they are both male. I know some female ISFPs who get the "odd" tag a lot less.

I suspect a LOT of ISFJs mistype as INFPs though (especially when the ISFJs are 9s), and I think quirkiness is less common, although I see some social awkwardness in many.

 

[RDF]

I've heard there's this characteristic quirkiness to infps around people that I've noticed people cite consistently in profiles and even in these forums. I, as an INFP guy, cannot relate to this concept at all in public. I confide in the idea that I have a big tendency to give into less facial expression and verbal expression, even to a point of monotonous voice.

When I'm around people I think this is due to their presence draining my energy. This I mean, are big extroverted groups of people who all go along like PB and J. Would other INFPs relate to this, or do I need to reconsider my type again?

If an INFP tries to approach a big extroverted group of people that he doesn't know very well, then he's probably going to shut down and be unable to interact with them. That sort of situation is about the most difficult for younger INFPs. In fact it's difficult for pretty much any personality type. It takes practice to jump into an unknown crowd and start interacting with them.

On the other hand, if an INFP is in a setting where he feels comfortable (that is, with friends, with family, with well-known co-workers), then then the INFP may feel free to be himself and even clown a bit. INFPs interact with the world via Ne, which is a brainstorming function. It can result in INFPs being whimsical and even a bit silly when they are with friends.

Anyway, I’m not exactly sure what you mean by INFPs being “quirky.” In the first situation that I mentioned, INFPs might be “quirky” in the sense that they remain silent and detached from the group. In the second situation, they might be quirky in the sense that they turn on their Ne and start acting a little goofy or whimsical in the company of familiar people.

In any case, a lot depends on the environment and the setting. A loud, public social setting is difficult for anyone, and especially for hard-core introverted INFPs. By comparison, a warm intimate setting with friends will bring out a whole different side of INFPs.

 

[Joehobo]

I've heard there's this characteristic quirkiness to infps around people that I've noticed people cite consistently in profiles and even in these forums. I, as an INFP guy, cannot relate to this concept at all in public. I confide in the idea that I have a big tendency to give into less facial expression and verbal expression, even to a point of monotonous voice.

When I'm around people I think this is due to their presence draining my energy. This I mean, are big extroverted groups of people who all go along like PB and J. Would other INFPs relate to this, or do I need to reconsider my type again?

As a male INFP, I can say that I relate to alot of those feelings you have. When dealing with people in public or people that I'am not comfortable with I have a very bland expression and definitely the monotonous voice to boot! (Either that or I' am just drained of energy.) People have judged my quietness as being "wierd." but they have also pointed out my idiosyncrasies when I've grown more comfortable in expressing myself.
In public I can only really come off as quirky when I' am with people that I've become used to in expressing that side of me. At my place of study is basically the only place where I' am open in that sense, and only in my interactions with several students who I've known for the past year and a half. When communicating with anyone else, that bland monotonous me comes back again.

If you feel comfortable within the INFP type, I would say you need not reconsider it based on what you've presented alone.
That characteristic which is described seems to be more behavioral based (which is when enneagram can come in handy.) and is more likely subjected to the level of shyness a particular INFP is experiencing.
Although I don't as much as I used to I still feel shy, because I feel (as OrangeAppled mentioned) ostracized at times, in those situations I tend to not have that "quirky" side showing. Just plain old weird.

Consider your situation and the people you are around. Do you feel this way only in public? Are the people you interact with making you feel less inclined to express yourself? When you do experience this "quirky" side what kind of enviroment is it in, and is it dependent on your level of comfort as well as energy?

 

[Southern Kross]

However, ISFPs are often seen as odd too. My ISFP step-dad & another ISFP guy I know are considered "different" by people. It is perhaps when they are artists this is most true, and they are both artists.... plus they are both male. I know some female ISFPs who get the "odd" tag a lot less...

Oh yeah, ISFPs can be odd too. I just think they're better at 'passing'...

 

[flameskull95]

The weird-factor is kinda essential for INFP. You might not feel like you're particularly odd yourself, but by now you should have been on the receiving end of the perplexed looks, smirks/teasing and glares of annoyance, that comes with saying and doing out of place things. Fi original thinking plus Ne mental leaps makes for a lot of quirkiness and unconventional thought, and typically people aren't shy about pointing out just how abnormal it is. An INFP learns pretty quickly, that what makes perfect sense to them, is wacky and incomprehensible to others.

Poor communication skills and less consciousness and control over facial expression is also a rather Fi quality, I believe (or is it more generally Ji? I can't remember ). However, this isn't what people typically find strange in and of itself; a perceived incongruence between that demeanour and the content communicated will have more a quirky effect. Maybe, you are a ISFP instead.

Friends during High school have given me 'perplexed looks', like they've look at me like I actually had something terribly unusual with me, when I didn't view it as such. I've gotten poked fun of a lot for randomly/obviously "spacing out" into a vague area/corner. Maybe "QUIRKY" wasn't the word to use... I'd say more "ENTHUSIASTIC" is better to describe what I'm talking about. I'm kinda pessimistic and noticed that I've even tried to or tended to appear "sophisticated" in the face of extroverts like ESFPs and other socialites getting along with their loud conversations. I stick by the monotonous voice and devoid/pessimistic/depressed looking facial expressions/attitudes I garner... can you relate?

If an INFP tries to approach a big extroverted group of people that he doesn't know very well, then he's probably going to shut down and be unable to interact with them. That sort of situation is about the most difficult for younger INFPs. In fact it's difficult for pretty much any personality type. It takes practice to jump into an unknown crowd and start interacting with them.

On the other hand, if an INFP is in a setting where he feels comfortable (that is, with friends, with family, with well-known co-workers), then then the INFP may feel free to be himself and even clown a bit. INFPs interact with the world via Ne, which is a brainstorming function. It can result in INFPs being whimsical and even a bit silly when they are with friends.

Anyway, I’m not exactly sure what you mean by INFPs being “quirky.” In the first situation that I mentioned, INFPs might be “quirky” in the sense that they remain silent and detached from the group. In the second situation, they might be quirky in the sense that they turn on their Ne and start acting a little goofy or whimsical in the company of familiar people.

In any case, a lot depends on the environment and the setting. A loud, public social setting is difficult for anyone, and especially for hard-core introverted INFPs. By comparison, a warm intimate setting with friends will bring out a whole different side of INFPs.

Yeah this is pretty much me. When I'm around people close to me, I tend to do quirky stuff, while I know clean cut INFJs who with close friends have that prophet-like "you can't read me" nature, I've noticed. Whenever I've consciously or unconsciously noticed this, it would give me the tendency to be more "crazy" or "yolo" on their behalf.
Though then me and the INFJ would see clean cut ESFPs and other ENFPs, I tend to resemble the INFJ, - maybe cause I'm shy that my extroverted-ness would look crappier next to theirs or something. This is the where the distinct quirkiness goes to die, and even when I'm around people I know I can't fully be myself or quirky cause of the sharp feeling that I'm being two-faced (two-faced being totally quirky with the people I know and a total silent prophet around groups).

 

[xenaprincess]

I, as an INFP guy, cannot relate to this concept at all in public. I confide in the idea that I have a big tendency to give into less facial expression and verbal expression, even to a point of monotonous voice.

I've known two INFP guys and they are both rather expressionless facially and verbally. Maybe it is to mask their soft underbellies?

I am very expressive, facially, by contrast, haha! I have to consciously become expressionless and assertive when speaking with my INTP boss, whom I think is great but I think he gets confused or distracted by facial cues. He tends to work better with T types and I do my best to impersonate them. (I invariably fail).

I am a bit quirky, but not insane. I make many of my own clothes, which are rather conventional looking, but still. It can be considered quirky to sew your own stuff.

 

[flameskull95]

I've known two INFP guys and they are both rather expressionless facially and verbally. Maybe it is to mask their soft underbellies?

I am very expressive, facially, by contrast, haha! I have to consciously become expressionless and assertive when speaking with my INTP boss, whom I think is great but I think he gets confused or distracted by facial cues. He tends to work better with T types and I do my best to impersonate them. (I invariably fail).

I am a bit quirky, but not insane. I make many of my own clothes, which are rather conventional looking, but still. It can be considered quirky to sew your own stuff.

Haha. Thanks for that. But I think you directed it to yourself rather than my problem, - I think that's an INFP thing, because I've noticed I do that too much myself, - it's the individualism. I'm pretty definite that the INFP suit is the only one that can fit when looking at the other types properly even though this suit can be loose at times, so I'm not totally confused, just curious I guess.

And I guess hearing that you have INFP guy friends with emotionless faces is reassuring, and maybe I'm more like a Remus Lupin or Peter Jackson than say... Luna Lovegood. (Who are all INFPs btw). Other than that, I guess I'm monotonous around people only when I'm around groups of people I don't know or am not comfortable with(usually because I don't know them or they're more extroverted making me shy-er in a way I guess), and comfortably quirky and random around friends and family who often have called me weird enough for me to remember.

Any more advice on this topic would be awesome guys, thanks to everyone who posted as well

 

[xenaprincess]

Haha. Thanks for that. But I think you directed it to yourself rather than my problem, - I think that's an INFP thing, because I've noticed I do that too much myself, - it's the individualism. I'm pretty definite that the INFP suit is the only one that can fit when looking at the other types properly even though this suit can be loose at times, so I'm not totally confused, just curious I guess.

well, perhaps I didn't understand your question? Is it about quirkiness or facial expression or something else?

what is quirkiness to you? To some people, it might seem quirky not to have facial expression when interacting with others

I guess you are saying 'I might not be an infp because I am expressionless around people, and infps have been described as quirky, which means being expressive around people'. right?

I don't think quirky = facially expressive at all. You can be awkward and quirky, expressionless and quirky, etc. Quirky to me means standing out in some way, walking to the beat of your own drum. You might wear bowties and knee socks. You might only eat whitefish sandwiches and nothing else. You might live with 5 cats.

Maybe I didn't understand your question?

ps: the INFP men I know are not 'quirky'. They dress and act conventionally.

 

[Turtledove]

I always thought sensors were the ones who don't "show their cards" by their "poker face." Yeah, I'm con-FERSED about the question.

 

[Seymour]

I had kind of wondered whether there was a gender difference in (external) "quirkiness" after Nardi's finding that FP men use the T5 neocortex region a lot, but FP women don't. The T5 region has a lot to do with social awareness and responding to negative social feedback. It might make sense that FP males would go for flat affect rather than fake affect or the social inappropriateness.

 

[flameskull95]

I had kind of wondered whether there was a gender difference in (external) "quirkiness" after Nardi's finding that FP men use the T5 neocortex region a lot, but FP women don't. The T5 region has a lot to do with social awareness and responding to negative social feedback. It might make sense that FP males would go for flat affect rather than fake affect or the social inappropriateness.

Haha. NO. WAY.

That connection seems to clarify a lot of stuff. How does it affect responses to negative social feedback? - I'm guessing it's something like FP guys would be a bit more rationally pessimistic/aggressive in some way, because I could relate to that. Anything else that may be connected to guys using the T5 region?

 

[flameskull95]

well, perhaps I didn't understand your question? Is it about quirkiness or facial expression or something else?

what is quirkiness to you? To some people, it might seem quirky not to have facial expression when interacting with others

I guess you are saying 'I might not be an infp because I am expressionless around people, and infps have been described as quirky, which means being expressive around people'. right?

I don't think quirky = facially expressive at all. You can be awkward and quirky, expressionless and quirky, etc. Quirky to me means standing out in some way, walking to the beat of your own drum. You might wear bowties and knee socks. You might only eat whitefish sandwiches and nothing else. You might live with 5 cats.

Maybe I didn't understand your question?

ps: the INFP men I know are not 'quirky'. They dress and act conventionally.

I guess what you're saying is right, but when it comes to external behavior I could easily separate myself as less quirky than the female INFPs I know. But I guess since you're male INFP friends are conventional by appearance, I'm getting pretty confident about my type being INFP. Though, I was pretty confident about my type in the first place, I was just wondering if there was a possibility that maybe this expressionless or monotone appearance was a thing with INFP males. Overall, it seems to fit.

 

[William K]

If by quirky you mean suddenly go into whimsical moods, then yes, I can act that way when I'm in familiar surroundings or with close family/friends. I also tend to have more atypical hobbies/passions. Part of it is the individualistic streak I have.

However, when I'm in a large group with people I'm not close to or strangers, my social mask comes on and I certainly become more non-committal in showing what I really think/feel. It's like being in neutral gear, especially if the topic is not something I have a strong inclination for. Even for things I do care about, if it's controversial and would lead to conflicts, I'd probably keep quiet too. Lack of assertiveness?

 

[flameskull95]

If by quirky you mean suddenly go into whimsical moods, then yes, I can act that way when I'm in familiar surroundings or with close family/friends. I also tend to have more atypical hobbies/passions. Part of it is the individualistic streak I have.

However, when I'm in a large group with people I'm not close to or strangers, my social mask comes on and I certainly become more non-committal in showing what I really think/feel. It's like being in neutral gear, especially if the topic is not something I have a strong inclination for. Even for things I do care about, if it's controversial and would lead to conflicts, I'd probably keep quiet too. Lack of assertiveness?

Haha. Yeah, I usually act all quirky around the people I know and who are close to me, and what I meant was with people around me when I'm in a extroverted environment I guess.
I really don't know, I think it's an INFP thing to generate random possibilities so I'm always second guessing my type when I get new information. Especially since I just randomly got to watch Lord of the Rings (INFP author, director and lead character), and thought about how Frodo is an INFP and I can tell he has this aura of innocence and innocent/genuine care and convention surrounding him when he's with the other characters.

It's a bit of a far fetched example, but I feel who I am in general, when I view myself, is much less of that innocence aura, (not to say I can't relate deeply to Frodo). Though, I can be a bit critical and have a stronger tendency to poke fun out of people close to me, almost like I have a reasonable amount of witty/depressing 'T' personality traits lingering about unconsciously. Like I would disrupt a flowing conversation, cause I thought of a witty/random tease/joke even if it offended the other person (this usually always happens with people close to me rather than people I'm not comfortable with). It's petty but I can't help it for some reason, it's just to further relax/lighten the situation I guess. But I can tell if people take it offend, and hate myself for that and try to apologize or at least stop.

I hate me for being this way, and got to cut down on that shit. Oh yeah and I can cuss a lot to normalize conversations, destroying that thing with Frodo's personality where he's kinda innocent to a point where he doesn't even swear. Where it seems as though he wouldn't because he doesn't want it to genuinely offend anyone. Practically what I'm saying is that, I can tease things more internally, I can even tease Frodo for being justifying it as a fallacy and that the world would eat him alive for being like that . It's like I tease once I see when things are out of place, even if it disrupts the peace/convention of it all; it's like a carefree tendency.

Though evidence that supports my INFPness would be that I have an extreme dislike for criticism/conflict (unless targeted somehow), second-guessed myself and
have been called 'innocent' by a lot of people growing up due to eschewing coarse forms of expression. Maybe cause I eschew this expression is why I "let loose" when people I'm comfortable with come by.

I feel ashamed of myself.

 

[RDF]

Haha. Yeah, I usually act all quirky around the people I know and who are close to me, and what I meant was with people around me when I'm in a extroverted environment I guess. [...]

Good post!

Yeah, you sound very INFP. Especially the parts about disrupting the flow of conversation with random jokes or with cussing for effect. That’s a facet of Ne at work--the whimsical or silly side that can come out with close friends.

And as you’ve noticed, not everyone appreciates Ne. Ne is a great social function, providing you with mental nimbleness and flexibility, but it can come across as goofy or disruptive if you overuse it. With time and practice, you’ll learn how to ration it better and and serve it up in small doses at appropriate times.

 

[flameskull95]

Good post!

Yeah, you sound very INFP. Especially the parts about disrupting the flow of conversation with random jokes or with cussing for effect. That’s a facet of Ne at work--the whimsical or silly side that can come out with close friends.

And as you’ve noticed, not everyone appreciates Ne. Ne is a great social function, providing you with mental nimbleness and flexibility, but it can come across as goofy or disruptive if you overuse it. With time and practice, you’ll learn how to ration it better and and serve it up in small doses at appropriate times.

AWESOME POST! . Maybe I just needed my own little validation as well, cause I just lit up when you commented about Ne, and that I sound INFP. Thanks for that.

And that 'Goofy' 'Disruptive' thing can be what usually furthers me emotionally from some people, and that can really be a bummer, so yeah good advice everywhere, I should totally use it in small doses.

Where are all these extremely nice INFPs in society?