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  1. #1
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    Default ENFPs or INFPs- Which are Better for INTJs?

    Ok, so I think I'm interested in reading this, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to make the investment.

    Could somebody give me the CliffsNotes version?

    EDIT: Ok, read about 5-10 posts. Remembering why INFPs are such a pain in the ass and things never work out with them. ENFPs it is.

    Mod edit: Moved due to thread topic derailment.
    Last edited by Zarathustra; 05-25-2012 at 08:14 PM. Reason: made a new thread

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by mia_infp View Post
    INTJ and INFP dynamics centered around a specific case study with hopes for practical application.
    Yes, I was able to gather that much.

    I'm looking for the bit-more-detailed version than that...

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Yes, I was able to gather that much.

    I'm looking for the bit-more-detailed version than that...
    INFPs are a pain in the ass but INTJs love them anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mia_infp View Post
    INFPs are a pain in the ass but INTJs love them anyway.
    Pains in the asses that delete messages after they've been responded to, apparently.

    The problem is that, if I ever have an interest in an INFP, it never ends up turning into anything, cuz I give my indicators of interest, and then theirs, as it seems to have been in this case, seem to be the most duddy duds that have ever dudded this duddy dud. You can't tell whether a drop of water just plopped into a puddle or whether they want to get it on froggy style. ENFPs at least give some kind of workable response. They play the game. With INFPs you never have any idea what the fuck they're thinking. Shit is always just D.O.A.

    The inevitable conclusion, of course, is:


  5. #5
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
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    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia. View Post
    I just need them to be their truest selves, and I need to understand very definitively in what ways I am set apart from others in their heart and lives.
    Yes! This is very true. And for me its part of that hang back and observe thing I do (not the initial phase, but in the establishing a connection phase). Like after I make observations about their character, and try to work out who they 'truely are' I look for indications that they "set me apart" or treat me differently from other people. Basically I need to know 'why me' and I need to know where I fit in the heirarchy of their heart so I can pace myself accordingly. I have to be their number one choice.

    ....hmmm I think that if I don't feel special and unique and rare in thier eyes I loose interest??

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by CreativeCait View Post
    Yes! This is very true. And for me its part of that hang back and observe thing I do (not the initial phase, but in the establishing a connection phase). Like after I make observations about their character, and try to work out who they 'truely are' I look for indications that they "set me apart" or treat me differently from other people. Basically I need to know 'why me' and I need to know where I fit in the heirarchy of their heart so I can pace myself accordingly. I have to be their number one choice.

    ....hmmm I think that if I don't feel special and unique and rare in thier eyes I loose interest??
    Dude... it's like..... we share a brain man.

    Except I don't lose interest per se, but rather if I sense I am not as set apart/different for them as they are for me, I just won't share myself. They just won't know me, really. I will be a support to anyone who needs one, but I will only invest the trust, vulnerability, attachment, loyalty, and energy required for sharing myself with those who 1.) I sense have certain qualities, and 2.) feel the same way in return.

  8. #8
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    An INTJ/ENFP/INFP threesome?? Wow, that's impressive!

  9. #9
    Member CreativeCait's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia. View Post
    Dude... it's like..... we share a brain man.

    Except I don't lose interest per se, but rather if I sense I am not as set apart/different for them as they are for me, I just won't share myself. They just won't know me, really. I will be a support to anyone who needs one, but I will only invest the trust, vulnerability, attachment, loyalty, and energy required for sharing myself with those who 1.) I sense have certain qualities, and 2.) feel the same way in return.
    Yeah, it's freaky aye?? Glad to know I'm not the only one like this!

    I love what you said. Actually its a more pragmatic, well thought out approach. Especially what's in bold above. I've been pondering and I think maybe its because INFPs like to give our all in relationships once we're in, anything less feels superficial. And the idealism (in terms of being 'set apart') has to work both ways or the relationship becomes unbalanced. Our investment is so huge and many people are unaware of it or take it for granted. So we take it away, they want it back, we give it back, then they realise it entails more than they bargained for. Finding someone who wants invest in this way from the start saves us from this tired old dance.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    seem to be the most duddy duds that have ever dudded this duddy dud.

    ENFPs at least give some kind of workable response. They play the game. With INFPs you never have any idea what the fuck they're thinking. Shit is always just D.O.A.
    Lol, what the heck is a duddy dud??

    Personally, I detest playing 'the game'. So un-original. So cliche. Far to conventional. Unless it entails playful fun 'in the moment'. I think a lot of the 'rules' of 'the game' and things people do in 'the game' are stupid. I wouldn't be caught dead playing by them. I like to do my own thing and dis-regard the 'plans' of others. I follow my inner voice, not societal conventions. So I never really bothered to learn 'the game' and play it out in any meanigful way...maybe this is not such a good thing??

    As far as what we're thinking....often we don't even know what we're thinking. How the hell am I supposed to translate that externally to someone else 'in the moment'?? It helps if someone is willing to help me work through my thoughts with them. Cue patience, listening and asking the right questions while alowing down time to formulate answers.

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