[INFJ] ENFPs or INFPs- Which are Better for INTJs?

[Laurie]

 

[skylights]

Easy on Mia, folks. She said things that, on average, make a lot of sense. She just put some ''emphasis'', if you will. Zarathustra's bait worked too well.

Eh. She did give some accurate information, but included a lot of unnecessary inflammatory language, implications of superficiality being the most offensive. I do explicitly agree with her overall point that INFPs deserve consideration as an ideal mate for INTJs, but as [MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION] and [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] have both pointed out, it was the implicit negative value judgments we've taken issue with.

Maybe Z summoned us for personal amusement but I find clarification a decent cause anyway. So he's either brilliant, a troll, innocent (doubtful), bored, or genuinely interested. I imagine some mixture of the 5.

she issued a series of generalizations others found offensive

Was there any truth to her generalizations?

Cuz, frankly, I could give a damn about offensiveness.

Yes. There was. But only in terms of behaviors - her interpretation of intentions was totally off. That's the reason I wrote so much... because I think humans overall - especially INFPs and ENFPs - have pretty similar goals, just different means of pursuing them.

I think, at this point, it would be best if I ventured [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]' epic mountain of a post, and came back with thoughts...

 

[Zarathustra]

Yes. There was. But only in terms of behaviors - her interpretation of intentions was totally off.

Would you mind expanding on this?

What ENFP behaviors did she mention that were accurate?

And what about her interpretations of ENFPs' intentions was totally off?

ETA: or wait, is this the point where I should go and read your mammoth of a post?

/ dumbass

 

[OrangeAppled]

In theory, the INFP is ideal for no one. We are the antithesis of the social ideal (which one? most any one), and therefore not what people imagine when they dream of their hypothetical, perfect match.

Many a thread has been made about what type fits best with what other type; no type ever calls dibs on the INFP. The ENTJs would prefer the INTP, or maybe their true "dual", the ISFP (or something else altogether). The ENFJs too prefer the Ti-dom. The ENFPs just like us as buddies....etc, etc, etc.

I specifically recall one thread from years ago concerning which pairing was best for the ENTJ or ENTP - the INFP or INFJ. In general, the INFJ was fought over; no one wants to be "stuck" with the INFP.

I recently recall even [MENTION=15004]Mia.[/MENTION] saying her own husband admits to liking the sound of the ESFP personality better than the INFP (ouch!).

In contrast, there are a few surveys/studies out there about which female types are considered "ideal" or most attractive, and ENFP is often top two. The Fi-doms are usually the bottom for the Feeling women. So, of course the ENFP is more ideal for the INTJ, and more ideal, period.

Hey, I don't want to date an INFP either.

Cue a song from The Smiths now please. Anyone will do.

 

[011235813]

It's hard to explain what goes on in our heads so it's just easier to put up with this stuff.

I'm sorry that my personal experience that you had nothing to do with and which I expressly tried not to generalize to all ENFPs is so difficult to explain and/or put up with. Life must be hard taking on that kind of responsibility.

 

[011235813]

In theory, the INFP is ideal for no one. We are the antithesis of the social ideal (which one? most any one), and therefore not what people imagine when they dream of their hypothetical, perfect match.

Many a thread has been made about what type fits best with what other type; no type ever calls dibs on the INFP. The ENTJs would prefer the INTP, or maybe their true "dual", the ISFP (or something else altogether). The ENFJs too prefer the Ti-dom. The ENFPs just like us as buddies....etc, etc, etc.

I specifically recall one thread from years ago concerning which pairing was best for the ENTJ or ENTP - the INFP or INFJ. In general, the INFJ was fought over; no one wants to be "stuck" with the INFP.

I recently recall even [MENTION=15004]Mia.[/MENTION] saying her own husband admits to liking the sound of the ESFP personality better than the INFP (ouch!).

In contrast, there are a few surveys/studies out there about which female types are considered "ideal" or most attractive, and ENFP is often top two. The Fi-doms are usually the bottom for the Feeling women. So, of course the ENFP is more ideal for the INTJ, and more ideal, period.

Hey, I don't want to date an INFP either.

Cue a song from The Smiths now please. Anyone will do.

So emo.

More or less agree with this.

 

[Zarathustra]

^ I'm calling sp dom on that post

EDIT: ^^^ I call sp-dom on both your posts!

 

[Laurie]

I'm sorry that my personal experience that you had nothing to do with and which I expressly tried not to generalize to all ENFPs is so difficult to explain and/or put up with. Life must be hard taking on that kind of responsibility.

You did say you had limited experience but I was using it as an example. It is hard to live with it!!

In theory, the INFP is ideal for no one. We are the antithesis of the social ideal (which one? most any one), and therefore not what people imagine when they dream of their hypothetical, perfect match.e usually the bottom for the Feeling women.

I thought infps preferred infps.

My friend started a whole thread on here on how he (INFP) wasn't right for any type.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I thought infps preferred infps.

My friend started a whole thread on here on how he (INFP) wasn't right for any type.

No, I don't think INFPs prefer INFPs. Some may say that, but I wouldn't call that a rule. I personally don't envision an INFP as my ideal either, so I can't blame anyone else for not doing so.

As a side note, I think gender makes a difference. You see female INTJs & male INFPs paired far more often when that pairing does occur.

 

[011235813]

You did say you had limited experience but I was using it as an example. It is hard to live with it!!

Why generalize from one isolated example with explicit qualifications when there are better targets to pick and use?

 

[Laurie]

Why generalize from one isolated example with explicit qualifications when there are better targets to pick and use?

Laziness? It had the right words in it.

 

[011235813]

Laziness? It had the right words in it.

Perhaps so. I didn't say so out of a desire to keep the conversation civil.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I am inclined to think that an INFP would be much more satisfied in the long run with ENJ's because Fi, though valuing doesn't always know what to value, thus its need for direction with Te.

Ni can be confusing to Fi. Thus why Ne would be much more tolerant of Ni and more appropriate. Of course, I still think that Ne-Ni combinations can be somewhat of.... A.... Well, it can go nowhere... Literally.

Give in to the ALMIGHTY Se.

 

[Zarathustra]

I didn't say so out of a desire to keep the conversation civil.

Wow...

Senza seems to be rearing for a real INFP-ENFP throwdown...

 

[011235813]

Wow...

Senza's seems to be rearing for a real INFP-ENFP showdown...

I'm totally not. Boring and counterproductive.

 

[Zarathustra]

I'm totally not. Boring and counterproductive.

 

[011235813]

I am inclined to think that an INFP would be much more satisfied in the long run with ENJ's because Fi, though valuing doesn't always know what to value, thus its need for direction with Te.

Ni can be confusing to Fi. Thus why Ne would be much more tolerant of Ni and more appropriate. Of course, I still think that Ne-Ni combinations can be somewhat of.... A.... Well, it can go nowhere... Literally.

Give in to the ALMIGHTY Se.

ETJs rather than ENJs, I think. I like ENFJs too but the challenge of differing expectations is sometimes more trouble than it's worth to overcome. I like Te though even when it makes me feel like a failure of a human being. MOAR TE.

More later on what I think about INTJs as prospective mates because I'm trying to watch True Blood now. Initial prognosis: doable and occasionally worthwhile but ...

 

[Zarathustra]

I am inclined to think that an INFP would be much more satisfied in the long run with ENJ's because Fi, though valuing doesn't always know what to value, thus its need for direction with Te.

Ni can be confusing to Fi. Thus why Ne would be much more tolerant of Ni and more appropriate. Of course, I still think that Ne-Ni combinations can be somewhat of.... A.... Well, it can go nowhere... Literally.

Give in to the ALMIGHTY Se.

No offense, but this was the biggest lop of crap I've read in a long time.

 

[Zarathustra]

ETJs rather than ENJs, I think. I like ENFJs too but the challenge of differing expectations is sometimes more trouble than it's worth to overcome. I like Te though even when it makes me feel like a failure of a human being. MOAR TE.

I find this interesting...

Obviously, we've got two prominent INFP-ESTJ marriages on this board, so there definitely be something to it.

It seems very fire or ice: either IFPs hate Te-doms and/or an individual Te-user, or love them.

Could just be volatility associated with rejection of/aspiration toward the inferior.

More later on what I think about INTJs as prospective mates because I'm trying to watch True Blood now. Initial prognosis: doable and occasionally worthwhile but ...

Will be awaiting...

 

[Mia.]

I would like to apologize for offending the ENFPs. That was not my intention, but my remarks were poorly phrased and not considered enough in their impact. I'm sure I probably didn't have a very good reflection or grasp on the intentions of ENFPs regarding their behaviors as well. I really like ENFPs. I know several and consider them to be wonderful people. I think they are ideal matches for INTJs. And INTJs love them. And I understand why.