User Tag List

First 6141516171826 Last

Results 151 to 160 of 437

  1. #151
    011235813
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I find this interesting...

    Obviously, we've got two prominent INFP-ESTJ marriages on this board, so there definitely be something to it.

    It seems very fire or ice: either IFPs hate Te-doms and/or an individual Te-user, or love them.

    Could just be volatility associated with rejection of/aspiration toward the inferior.
    Yeah, I didn't like ETJs when I was younger. Their methods seemed impersonal and brutal and horrible to me.

    I gradually realized, however, that I didn't have infinite time and energy resources, and that there were more efficient ways of getting what I wanted, and I started developing greater appreciation for individuals who were willing to nudge me towards the appropriate short cuts. So yes, I'm a big fan of people who gracefully wield a function I'm not so great at, and embracing Te instead of railing against it has been extremely helpful to me all my life.

    That said, Te still sounds pretty bad on paper to me. Reading any of the four TJ descriptions on a website will still send shivers of distaste down my spine. It just doesn't translate into my actual interactions with TJs, which are usually positive.


    Will be awaiting...
    Okay. The thing that bugs me the most about INTJs is when they get fixated on an idea or impression or opinion that I KNOW is wrong because there's not a damn thing I can do about it, becayse I don't have the skills to put together an argument based on immediately available data and talk back to them in their own Te tongue. And let's face it, Fi is not always so great at explaining itself. It WANTS to do more than have a hissy fit and it wants to get past the mess but it's not really capable of doing more than saying, "Yeah, well, YOU'RE JUST A POOPY FACE, INTJ," especially when it's frustrated at the wrongness. Needless to say, the INTJ is entirely unimpressed by this response.

    It would be much more helpful if I could suggest alternatives in a genuinely not-vested manner, or entertain the INTJ's insight without sticking my fingers in my ears from the get go and going "WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG" but as it is, I have no good way of getting anything through their thick skulls. This is very rarely an issue with ENTJs as we're both more interested in finding the right solution and using it than in just being right.

    Given enough time and understanding and patience, things can work out. I just don't have any guarantee that they will and as far as INTJs are concerned, I don't really feel like there's anything I, personally, can do about the situation. That is deeply distressing to have to deal with.

  2. #152
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,579

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    It's not even just infps. It's introverts in general with their I'm more special because you have to work for it shit. It's not just this thread you see it referenced all the time. It's annoying. Like we take a long time to decide we like someone and want to be friendly to you so it means so much more than those shallow extroverts who just go around being nice to everyone all the time!! I mean how crass!!
    I don't consider myself more special because someone had to "work" to get close to me. I consider them special because they put out the effort to do so.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #153
    011235813
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I don't consider myself more special because someone had to "work" to get close to me. I consider them special because they put out the effort to do so.
    This, exactly. Someone who does this is entirely worth my time and affection.

  4. #154
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Aww that's very sweet.

    I'm pretty sure my infp bf shares that sentiment.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #155
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    584 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    1,082

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    It's not even just infps. It's introverts in general with their I'm more special because you have to work for it shit. It's not just this thread you see it referenced all the time. It's annoying. Like we take a long time to decide we like someone and want to be friendly to you so it means so much more than those shallow extroverts who just go around being nice to everyone all the time!! I mean how crass!!

    It's ridiculous.
    I married an extrovert. I am more special for knowing her.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  6. #156
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Awwww!!!!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #157
    Senior Member Joehobo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    It's not even just infps. It's introverts in general with their I'm more special because you have to work for it shit. It's not just this thread you see it referenced all the time. It's annoying. Like we take a long time to decide we like someone and want to be friendly to you so it means so much more than those shallow extroverts who just go around being nice to everyone all the time!! I mean how crass!!

    It's ridiculous.
    Ah huh, well with that being said I can see where you're coming from with this, I really havn't been around here long enough to see the bigger picture in that sense. I don't think that is what other introverts are trying to project, although I can't speak for them as a whole of course (and if it is, I don't like or understand it). but I definately don't see it as a case of "im more special than you." It's more of a this is what i'm comfortable with and I know they are overly high standards to meet. There's a big price for this, but I still stick with it because it's what keeps me safe - not because doing anything otherwise would be "shallow".

  8. #158
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Well, after reading this depressing dollap of crap about how INFPs belong with no one and no one loves INFPs, eff that.

    ENFP it is.
    Likes Alassea liked this post

  9. #159
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    HUMR
    Enneagram
    6 sx
    Socionics
    iNfp Ni
    Posts
    1,521

    Default

    Rehashing the INTJ-NFP bit, I am of the opinion that much of what Mia and Zarathustra were discussing could be more e-gram related that purely cognition, and cognition behaviors at that. I think Mia offered up some really good points, INFP's shouldn't be ruled out because INTJ-INFP pairing does happen quite a bit and it can be something very special.

    However, I do disagree on ENFP's lacking staying power in relations. I believe NFP's can both generally struggle with grass is greener issues, but every ENFP I know IRL including myself has tremendous staying power once we have decided to commit to a person. One ENFP guy I know almost killed himself, literally, over his passionless swamp of a marriage to an ENTP for 6 years. He tried everything imagineable to make that work (and has since found an nice INFJ girl that he's been with for 2). I've personally been in 3 long term pairings with 2 of them running 5+. Another male 6w7 ENFP I know is deeply commited to his marriage, it is his life-blood.

    My guess is that ENFP 7's could potentially struggle a bit more, but look at the cores here. E7 key: "maintain their freedom and happiness, avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, keep themselves excited and occupied, avoid and discharge pain."
    INFP E4: express themselves and their individuality, create and surround themselves with beauty, maintain certain moods and feelings, withdraw to protect their self-image, take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, attract a "rescuer."
    INFP E9: create harmony in their environment, avoid conflicts and tension, preserve things as they are, resist whatever would upset or disturb them.

    But let us not forget that all INFP's are not 4 and 9, all ENFP's are not 7, and even if they are their level of health and life experience will have great impact on these fixations.

    I have a strong distaste for alot of the sweeping generalizations in this thread. Theorizing can be fun but on this level of vague interpretations I struggle to find any real nectar or practical application. I don't really get ruffled up when someone type slams with inflamatory remarks because what they are really talking about is their limited sample rate or some kind of theoretical, one-fucking-dimensional shadow person, lol.

    When considering compatibility I'd be far more interested in looking at how aux and dom Fi interact with INTJ tert.. along with the other function placements. How the enneagram + wings could play out, etc.

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM-heMFgzrc"]ahahah[/YOUTUBE]
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  10. #160
    RDF
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    [...]The problem is that, if I ever have an interest in an INFP, it never ends up turning into anything, cuz I give my indicators of interest, and then theirs, as it seems to have been in this case, seem to be the most duddy duds that have ever dudded this duddy dud. You can't tell whether a drop of water just plopped into a puddle or whether they want to get it on froggy style. ENFPs at least give some kind of workable response. They play the game. With INFPs you never have any idea what the fuck they're thinking. Shit is always just D.O.A.

    The inevitable conclusion, of course, is:

    The trouble I see with an INTJ/INFP pairing is that INTJs interact with the world via Te, and the Inferior function of INFPs is Te. That’s going to make INTJs sound more than a little jarring to INFPs.

    In my own personal experience with INTJs:

    I was a male INFP male working with lots of INTJs in my last workplace, and I took pride that I could put on a good Te facade and interact calmly and comfortably with INTJs. But it was always nice to get away from them and decompress after working with them for a while.

    I enjoy the presence of INTJs, mostly because I find them a bit of a challenge to be with. It’s fun to make that transition and show that I can keep up. Meantime, I take it for granted that it’s up to me to adapt to them rather than vice versa. And I don’t resent that or anything; when I get my fill of it, I can just walk away.

    As for a match-up between an INTJ male and INFP female (which was the subject of the original thread), there would be a double obstacle in that a lot of INFP females seem to like to hang back and be “courted.” I know that description is probably going to cause problems with other INFP readers, but that’s the best way I can put it. I suppose it has something to do with wanting to know if suitors are a good match with their INFP values before committing to a course of action, or something like that. Or just traditional introversion.

    Anyway, I can see that all as a big problem. INTJs interact with the world via Te, which is a solution-oriented or organization-oriented function. They’re probably not going to be happy with the INFP’s traditional Ne approach: open-ended, playful, wait-and-see, I-want-to-be-courted. If anything, INTJs seem to need to be courted in return: They need the INFP to put on a Te facade and show that they (INFPs) can keep up or at least not be turned off by an organizational, results-oriented approach to the world.

    Obviously any two types can get along. But many INFPs are pretty phobic of Te. That’s going to be a big obstacle. So in the end, I can anticipate an interaction pretty much like Zarathustra describes in the quote at the top of this post: That is, the girl is going to feel bruised by a lot of Te energy, and the guy is going to get put off by the lack of clear results.

    Other possible scenarios:

    An INFP guy might be able to win an INTJ woman. That is, an INFP guy may be willing to adopt a good Te facade and have an ethic that “you have to play the game in order to get the prize,” i.e. be wiling to be a little more forward and do some courting. And an INTJ woman may have learned to put on facades to soften or mask her traditional Te approach. INFP males are taught by the world to “man up” a bit, and INTJ woman are probably taught that they need to be more feminine. So this might be a possible match-up.

    Alternatively, there might be INTJ males who are willing to learn to put on facades to soften or mask their traditional Te approach and who might be willing to court an INFP female as needed (i.e., via Ne or a good facsimile thereof). I think it would be a fun challenge for the right INTJ male. But in practice I haven’t really seen that happen.

Similar Threads

  1. Which are better athletes, thinkers or feelers?
    By greenfairy in forum Health and Fitness
    Replies: 60
    Last Post: 09-29-2013, 09:55 PM
  2. Which are better athletes, thinkers or feelers?
    By Randomnity in forum Health and Fitness
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-24-2012, 01:39 PM
  3. [ENFP] ENFP or INFP?
    By raybeijo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-06-2011, 11:38 PM
  4. ENFP or INFP? Heeeeelp, please!
    By cfs1992 in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 02-01-2011, 09:25 PM
  5. Is my brother ENFP or INFP?
    By KarenParker in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-15-2009, 06:19 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO