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Thread: Fe'd out

  1. #11
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    The personality theorists always say that Fe users should enter professions where you regularly use Fe a lot but I disagree with this because it will drain you and you'll have nothing left for outside of work.

    I guess maybe if you lived to work, rather than worked to live, then this would be fine but if you don't then it's a problem.

  2. #12
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    When I saw your title, I was going to say the same thing you said in your second sentence. I'd bet it's an IxFJ thing. I get Fi'd out sometimes too, but never really Ne'd out... actually I'm more likely to go on crazy Ne tangents and use it inappropriately than to "use it up".

  3. #13
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    I started writing this before there were a billion replies, but,

    Welp, I know what you mean.

    For me, it's as if I 'pick my battles' and keep some things bottled in because I believe that releasing anger, frustration, or even sarcasm or insults is a short-term fix (it feels good to vent) that negatively chips away at our core.

    When I need time away from people, I try to make damn sure that I take it. I examine my own feelings. I need to center, reorient, and process; then I'm back for more people-action.

    But if someone bothers me too much when I'm taking my me-time? Yeah, it's hard for the barbs to not come out in some way.

  4. #14
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Other Fe aux/dom feel like this sometimes? I would hazard a guess that perhaps it's more common for INFJ and ISFJ. Fe users but not the dominant function, and introverts.

    Just, well, tired of being Fe polite and present and engaged with others so much of the time. My life requires me to do this a lot, and generally I'm ok with this. But sometimes I not only want to crawl into a hole and sleep, I want to be rude or abrupt with others (and I fear it happens a little more often than it used to, mostly in situations where I receive bad customer service and that sort of thing...) Or wanting to lash back, sometimes...

    I wonder if in my case, the wanting to (and very rarely, doing it) lash back at others has to do with the 6 enneagram and my counterphobic side coming out (though I'm mainly phobic.)

    Thoughts? How do you cope with this if you suffer from it? Just take a bit of time away? That's so hard to do sometimes


    EDIT: Btw, I also refer to this as being "people-tired" or "peopled out".
    I feel like this constantly.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

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    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
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  5. #15
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    When I saw your title, I was going to say the same thing you said in your second sentence. I'd bet it's an IxFJ thing. I get Fi'd out sometimes too, but never really Ne'd out... actually I'm more likely to go on crazy Ne tangents and use it inappropriately than to "use it up".
    I was just thinking what skylights wrote here. I get "Fi'd out" on a fairly regular basis. It is far rarer for me to feel "Ne'd out". So if both auxiliary Fe and Fi users get "F'd out", then perhaps being "peopled out" is not so much to do with being Fe or Fi, as it has to do with being Fe/Fi auxiliary. In other words, maybe the order of function dominance is at least as important as the function itself. Auxiliary functions require more mental energy to use than dominant functions. If this theory is correct then, ENFJs (Fe dom) and INFPs (Fi dom) won't get so "peopled out" as INFJs (Fe aux) and ENFPs (Fi aux).

    (But back to the OP... I can only offer up what I do when I get Fi'd out which is to spend some alone time. I also find that meditation really helps with this kind of thing. Hope this helps.)
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  6. #16
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I will do some of this when I am home for a visit soon. I suspect it will involve reading Watership Down and Sherlock Holmes. (Even when I am visiting my folks, who don't see me very often, they know when to leave me alone for a while!).

    And then maybe when I get back to my current place of residence, I'll take an Introvert Weekend soon, as well.
    This sounds really good. Especially the part about reading Watership Down! I left my old, tattered copy of it behind when I moved and miss it very much.

    Do you get people'd out even with folks you enjoy being around? I know I've exhausted my reserves when this occurs.

  7. #17
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I was just thinking what skylights wrote here. I get "Fi'd out" on a fairly regular basis. It is far rarer for me to feel "Ne'd out". So if both auxiliary Fe and Fi users get "F'd out", then perhaps being "peopled out" is not so much to do with being Fe or Fi, as it has to do with being Fe/Fi auxiliary. In other words, maybe the order of function dominance is at least as important as the function itself. Auxiliary functions require more mental energy to use than dominant functions. If this theory is correct then, ENFJs (Fe dom) and INFPs (Fi dom) won't get so "peopled out" as INFJs (Fe aux) and ENFPs (Fi aux).
    Trust me, INFPs get "peopled out" plenty fast. I think getting socially exhausted or having a finite capacity to deal with others is pretty much universal... it's just a question of when one hits that limit. I would suspect Fs, in general, expend more energy trying to be agreeable, and also that extraverts would tend to find social interactions energizing for longer than introverts would.

  8. #18
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Usually at the end of the day I feel Fe'd out.... tending to others' needs and stuff, and I feel like I am neglecting my own. I need a lot of me-time in order to refresh a bit. Maybe it's not only a Fe based thing and more of an introverts thing in general.
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  9. #19
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    I understand the 'getting people-tired' that you mentioned. I have a very social job and Fe is 'on' for the most part allll the time. And it does get tiring.. how I deal with it is I come home and am alone.. it's nice and it's what has to happen to keep me sane. Also, I have started within the last year to become much more assertive, as I've had to be with my position now.. I took lessons on Te.. *laugh* I often feel like apologizing after I have to be strong and 'get things done' but I don't .. unless I am wrong about something I don't anymore.. which has been helpful too, in my work especially.
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  10. #20
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Do you get people'd out even with folks you enjoy being around? I know I've exhausted my reserves when this occurs.
    Yeah, but if they are really good friends who I really enjoy being around, generally I'm refreshed and energised. So, like you say, my reserves have to be SERIOUSLY exhausted if I get "peopled out" with them. Probably it would mean that there have been other significant drains on me as well.

    Thanks all for the responses. Oh, and @skylights and @Esoteric Wench... I am interested to know what getting Fi'd out involves/feels like. I was actually wondering about that after I started this thread but before you commented.
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