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Thread: How do you encourage an INFJ, or, How do you know if an INFJ has lost interest in you

  1. #11
    Badoom~ Array Skyward's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008


    In regards to keeping in touch, it is a comfort level thing. I myself am comfortable falling off the map, because I value my comfort over my relationships with other people. If they dont match up at least mostly, it wouldnt bother me to go without contacting them for days, maybe a couple weeks. All of my close friends are the same way. I could be off the radar for months and then suddenly show up as if nothing happened and all parties would be cool with that.

    But if I were trying to develop a deeper relationship with someone, yeah, I would feel guilty for not keeping in touch at least every couple of days. Though at this stage, that is at odds with my level of comfort. If I contact them enough, I worry that they will notice that I am interested in them, and either answer they give would make me nervous.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    i'm an sx type, but if i showed i really liked you and then started being lukewarm, i was majorly disappointed or experiencing very strong uncertainty. if i didn't show it, i might just be extremely nervous and self-conscious. if i wasn't responding to you, i would be in an avoidant state for some reason or another (which is kind of me at the height of my ambiguity).

    with me, it often works best to just play it by ear. i'm better with people who are steadier and can sequence events better than i can. j types rely heavily on expectations, sometimes so much that they don't actually notice what is happening in very high resolution. in romance especially, i have at times been blind to what was happening because my expectations were so strongly clouding my vision and taking me away from being present. i've also had the best relationships with people who initially weren't on my radar, who had nothing to do with my expectations, and whose presence in my life proved itself to be profoundly personally relevant and life-enhancing and just worth it rather than just being what i thought i wanted based on depersonalized abstract categorical ideas of things.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Array hazelsees's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013


    If I am interested in you, I will go out of my way to "cross paths" with you, make myself available at all times, know your schedule and how I can "randomly" fit into it (obviously it's not random at all), remember everything you ever said in my presence.

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