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  1. #31
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    lol omg yeah, my last relationship was actually with an ISTJ and omg they're so cute and all but the patieeeeence i caaaan't!
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    oh weird maybe more argument that Im definitely xSFP because I can hang on to someone who lets me down too gently or leads me on, but the second someone is really truly mean, like makes me feel like they're really not interested in a very direct way, Im out. I can think geez what an asshole or feel icky that the person doesn't find me desirable. The day you tell me harshly to get lost is the day I do.

    What it sounds to me like you're saying is that ENFPs lose interest in anyone who acts like an ISTJ

  2. #32
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    ai ai ai i don't know. bible passages could be interesting if he's someone like me that has no religious knowledge. i was sleeping with a priest for some time because it was different and exciting, so..... get my point?
    anyways, i have the feeling this issue is actually more serious than what i have time for at the moment, so i'm going to abort and retreat. i think there's enough clever and sensitive people around this thread to help you out. kiss, good luck.

    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    Good idea. I could bombard him with biblical passages to scare him off. (He's a pagan)

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Now I want to know.. and wonder if I've done it before. How would you describe ENFP stalking that isn't quite stalking?
    well for example ExFP women are supposed to be more adept at initiating relationships with quieter men, for example, which is why they're supposed to be a good match for IxTJ.. They have the confidence and tertiary Te to not wait around passively for a guy to make all the moves, and have the patience to draw them out. Have you seen the ENFP/INTJ fetishists thread? It even creeps me out a little.

    But overall I would chalk it up more to being over-optimistic, having eternal hope if not roughly rejected, and a kind of Fi sense of this is what I want and having the Te push of being able to go with it. If IxFPs are emo, ExFP are emo in action.

    All that being said, in terms of functions that sounds about right for me being ESFP instead of ISFP.

    Anyway, it wouldn't involve actually following someone or calling someone 20 times in two hours ...it wouldn't be stalking in the scary way of literally following or harassing someone who had already told you to fuck off. That's just crazy.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Turtledove's Avatar
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    Baby, you better buy some pepper spray and put it in yo purse. Learning self-defense wouldn't hurt, too. I recommend Jujitsu-best form of martial art for self defense out there. Just sayin.'
    Save Thundercats 2011 petition. Because we do what we can. HO!!!:
    http://www.change.org/petitions/warn...another-season

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    My guess is she had a one night stand with the guy and now he's obsessed

    I hope you've learned your lesson miss Cockburn
    I too wondered what she had done to create the situation. Questions such as "why does he have her phone number" and "why does he even know where to show up at to run into her"?

  6. #36
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Why in the world would anyone want to fend off an ENFP stalker????????

  7. #37
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Why in the world would anyone want to fend off an ENFP stalker????????
    I do not exaggerate when I say... Giggly: One of the sweetest people I have encountered on the internet.

  8. #38
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    tl;dr version:

    How do I get rid of a(n ENFP) stalker without my (ISTJ) fiance (whom I live with) finding out I have one?
    Unhealthy Ne/Fi can become incredibly obsessive, to the point of delusional.. I've experienced this before, but fortunately I was not physically accessible to this person in any way where my safety was put in jeopardy- though he kept trying to remedy that, by inquiring to friends about me, and waiting somewhere that he thought I'd end up..

    Initially we engaged in friendly conversation, and he expressed romantic feelings for me. I told him I didn't share his sentiment, though I valued him as a friend. He refused to accept this, believing in ''hidden messages'' in my phrases that were not there. Unhealthy Ne. I cut contact with him completely, but still received constant emails from him. Even my silence was twisted into somehow leading him on, in his mind. What finally ended it was publicly telling him coldly, ''do not contact me again, I have nothing to say to you.'' And nothing else. This was done in front of friends, and I left after I said my piece. I was never bothered again.

    That seems very harsh, but, [i don't know your situation] it was the only thing that got through to him, as a last resort.
    Either way, let people who care about you know what's going on.
    Obsessive people can sometimes behave very unpredictably, and you'll want people to know if something ever happened to you.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  9. #39
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Initially we engaged in friendly conversation, and he expressed romantic feelings for me. I told him I didn't share his sentiment, though I valued him as a friend. He refused to accept this, believing in ''hidden messages'' in my phrases that were not there. Unhealthy Ne. I cut contact with him completely, but still received constant emails from him. Even my silence was twisted into somehow leading him on, in his mind. What finally ended it was publicly telling him coldly, ''do not contact me again, I have nothing to say to you.'' And nothing else. This was done in front of friends, and I left after I said my piece. I was never bothered again.
    Whoa. This sounds like an unfortunate situation. And just out of curiosity...what on earth was this person saying to you in these instances where he believed he was picking-up on hidden messages? Like...'I'm reading into your total silence that you have incredible feelings of affection for me'. ??? There was actually an ENFJ member on this site that believed they were reading *hidden messages* in another member's writing...but the other member actually had them on ignore ???

  10. #40
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Whoa. This sounds like an unfortunate situation. And just out of curiosity...what on earth was this person saying to you in these instances where he believed he was picking-up on hidden messages? Like...'I'm reading into your silence that you have incredible feelings of affection for me'. There was actually an ENFJ member on this site that believed they were reading *hidden messages* in another members writing...but the other member had them on ignore ???
    Ah, he kept insisting I was in love with him, and was afraid of my own feelings, thus not responding to him. He also read every single post I'd ever made, posts I'd written long before he was ever around, drawing wildly inaccurate conclusions about me & my life, to fit this ideal he'd set up in his mind and projected onto me. One example of a ''hidden message'' he thought I was giving him, was, during one of the phases when I wasn't posting here that often, I posted in my friend Nocapszy's blog when his cat had kittens, something like, ''aw, yer a daddy now!'' - the ENFP believed this was some secret way of me wishing him a happy birthday, because it was the 1st time I'd posted in awhile, and it just so happened that it was near his birthday.. [I had no idea, I just wanted to appreciate kittens!]

    He very heavily believed in/relied on his intuition, he repeated this often. Eventually I became to him similar to a character he'd written about for a college paper, some love story. He kept referencing it more and more. That was initially why he had my email to begin with, was that he'd written some plays, and because I'm a theatre dork, I said it'd be cool to read them sometime.

    It was quite bizarre, and disturbing, the degree to which he allowed himself to escape reality. I felt bad for him; I imagine one must be incredibly isolated, in a lot of ways, to have that sort of capacity to live in one's imagination to that extent. But all the same, it makes things potentially quite dangerous. He fluctuated at some points in the constant emails between expressing and projecting his love, predicting my thoughts and feelings, to anger and trying to make threats to never interact with me again- basically was trying everything he could to get a reaction from me, to no avail. I do not know how far he would try to take that, if I were more physically accessible.

    I hope the interaction he had with me was some kind of wakeup call that he needed to seek psychiatric help.

    ::edit:: I actually feel like an asshole for elaborating on some of the details now, even though it happened over a year ago. I'm mainly sharing so other people can understand/recognize this kind of unhealthy pattern, and deal with it accordingly before it gets out of hand.
    Last edited by Lexicon; 05-21-2012 at 12:38 PM. Reason: /fe discliamer
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

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