I've recently been battling with my need for validation at work. The work I do, has long hours, little reward, and if you are really lucky, you may have contributed to saving some ones life.
I know my job inside out, and I'm not stupid. I do have issues with some of the paper work side of things, but my ability to be responsive, flexible, and solve problems is above par.
I did miss out on a promotion about six months, but I thought I took it well. I know my administrative experience is limited.
So nearly two and a half years at this place,(the longest I've been any where)I find myself getting angrier and angrier. I know my boss doesn't want to lose me, I'm the most knowledgable and experienced techie there,so he tolerates my out bursts, about not being valued.
What distresses me, is why I feel that way?
I've been incredible respectful of my line manager and manager, and their descions, even the ones I disagree with (and to our determent).
I'm not sure how I deal with this. Normally I just leave, out of frustration, but you know, not even Australian economy is entirely immune to the troubles abroad.
So, how do I approach this, in a mature manner, without snapping at everybody, making other people cry, and not looking like I'm having a temper tantrum.
I have reached close to boiling point, not quite there, but I'm not great with these sorts of things. I usually just walk out the door.
My boss is confused, admittedly, he knows I'm struggling with something. He also makes references to my rather extensive career, I've work more places then most people have over a life time.
If I'm really honest with myself, it's because my boss does not seem to value my most innate abilities, and that hurts. He emphasizes all my negative characteristics, and seems to value other people more, when I've seen them make consistently silly descions, and panic etc. it frustrates me to tears, that some one who blindly follows policy is more valued than the trouble shooter extraordinaire. I guess most N's experience this.
I guess I'm angry that ineptitude, and inability to think outside always seems to be rewarded.