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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrystalViolet View Post
    I know my boss doesn't want to lose me, I'm the most knowledgable and experienced techie there
    Yeah, similar situation here.

    He knows how valuable I am (that I could find another job tomorrow), I know how valuable I am, but I get hardly any feedback--in fact, all we get is outright criticism for anything that lies outside of his standard of perfection. It manifests badly for him, because nobody dares bring any issue up with him, people don't trust him, and people will either isolate themselves or up and leave at the first opportunity that presents itself.

    The problem is that I don't expect that an open and honest discussion of my feelings would get anywhere. He doesn't speak on the wavelength of 'feelings' anyway, and exit interviews with several of his employees have hinted at this problem time and time again to no avail.

    Honestly, it helps to grasp the perspective that the environment around you is to 'blame.' I think that it helps with acceptance of the fact that you may not get much external validation.

    I now keep my nose to the grindstone and do exactly what I'm told, and no more, because initiative and creativity isn't valued so much. In the meantime, I'm on the lookout for ways to work with good teams--I treat my own employees very well, and I'm looking for other jobs with better leadership. In a way, recognizing the situation for what it is--and doing my best to create environments that are suitable for me--is freeing because I'm not beating my head against a wall.

    It's not fatalism; it's acceptance. That lays the groundwork for me to change my perception and, in at least some small ways, to change the environment around me.

  2. #12
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    kk I don't know if this is relevant, but when I look back on my career - many different contracts, many different employers - the 2 year mark is ALWAYS where I've become stir-crazy, even at the places I liked!

    So, I can't type a longer reply today, I have to get out the door atm, BUT, hold on, I do want to share some potentially helpful stuff on this. I realized there was a pattern in my life and perhaps there is one in yours too ...

    PB, I look forward to your next post. It is a pattern, I have to admitt. I suffer from terminal wanderlust. I'm thinking about immigrating to the U.k.(again)or goodness sake.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #13
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Yeah you see, this is the problem i have...the shutters comming down...and eek syndrome.
    It does sound like a pretty raw situation so you may want to give it time for the dust to settle. But when i said talk to your boss, i didn't exactly mean about the position you missed out on, i ment more the feeling undervalued part. They may go hand in hand but it also might help just sitting down and thrashing it out a bit. And yeah, you could ask him what skills to brush up on for the future, i mean, it sounds like you have it down cept the paperwork part. There might be some course or other you could do to help with the admin side of things.
    It sounds like a really hard situation though if you are not the most assertive go getting type, haha.
    Actually discussed this with the area manager. He wasn't much help. I considered doing a managment course. Also toying with the idea of post graduate courses specifically tailored to my work. My promoted co-worker had experience in a non related industry. I'm not entirely sure how office manager translates, but apparently it does.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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