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  1. #31
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost View Post
    Hi everyone!

    I'm an ENTP girl dating INFP boyfriend for over 7 years. It's been a hard relationship with many beautiful moments so we're keeping us going. I'll omit the oh so happy parts not to make it too long. I've done some problem analyzing. It all comes down to this:

    1 I'm a very outgoing person in a constant search of excitement and fun with lots of friends. He is like a sweet doormat who likes to stay in and rarely goes out and has a few very close friends. We can't find common interests we would do together except lovemaking. We don't even have mutual friends to hang out with.

    I'm here to improve myself and search for a solution. What do some INFP here like to do with their gf, what makes you happy? Unfortunately I can't reach to him, I keep hitting the wall.

    2 We both value and need lots of space for our own very different activities and reasons so we strugle with an idea of living together. We're in our 30' and it seems we can't get it done. We live seperately.

    Have you had simmilar troubles with and what happened? We would like to go in that direction.

    3 I'm living in my world of ideas and I like to verbalize them. I don't do it much with him. He is very sensitive about conflicts to the point he leaves a room before I even start saying regular things. I understand he can't help it but above all this, it creates a distance between us.

    Everything is fine while it's all harmonic and peaceful. I very much watch my tone with him but it takes very little and him not being able to handle stress very well at all but with passive agression.
    I am independet and I talk to my best female friend about my things but it can't replace this void of not doing it with my partner. How to talk better with INFP ?

    Do any of you, especially male INFPs, have some thoughts to share on my 3 issues? I feel like we're out of ways to build intimacy again and I don't see where are we going even though we love each other. Like we're speaking different love languages. I think I'm being careful to meet his needs but he can't figure to meet my. Breakup is not yet an option, we decided to make it work.

    Seems like a good combination because the as the INFP as a guy would be like an INxP and the ENTP as a girl would appear to be an ENXP, - it's just this thing I've noticed personally tbh. Thinking too critically can be distancing for an INFP, but being too sappy like "aahhh! unicorns and fairies" can be a bit too fucking annoying* (mind the language) for a borderline rebel-fringe-of-society-loving-caring-yet-moody INFP guy as for myself.

    Hey! at least it lasted... not to sound like a jerk, me and my elder brother (ENTP) barely have any proper brotherly connection and we avoid each other a lot. We avoid each other because we can fight a lot, and deeply/literally-insanely fight when we actually talk - though avoiding each other is destructive, it's not as destructive and we both know that. Anyway, we barely talk and when we do, it usually starts off heated and we can get really uneasy just by the vibes we give off and the general air.

    It's like we're trying not to offend each other, out of the experiences and conflicts that have gone out-of-hand, and made me bitter. It's not what we argued about, it's usually the hardship of emotion I've found pursuing connections with my ENTP brother from him getting heated over little details making me and even him work around egg shells or have airy annoying laughs to any slightly serious remarks we make about each other or our flaws - and it can be really not genuine... not genuine is fake and annoying (trust me). It's hell for me and I hate having to do the occasional breather after going "what will happen now, oh..." .. it makes me feel like a stupid idiot.

    But it's more the fact that he seems to never learn at the end of the argument and do his part and he doesn't actually listen to what I'm saying, when he comes at me after a stubborn rebuttal with his 'conclusions' of the whole thing. He tries to make these conclusions, without considering my argument and the implications that I'm willing to fix my own, if he just tells me like a human being instead of a dominating regime messiah.

    As an ENTP with a borderline xSxx personality (after he evaluated his type), and a disruptive narcissistic personality to the degree of physical violence when he can't take criticism for his own opinion/ideas (which I suspect is very unusual for any type and is purely subjective), I'd say he's not the best example for the archetypal ENTP. But he's all I've got next to my ENxP sister ... we get along just fine.. or I just have had enough terrible conflict with my brother I can appreciate me and my sister's connection better.

    I'm kinda drifting off the rails here, but I'm probably never going to talk to my elder brother the same way I talk to my elder sister, because my sister doesn't need to work on egg shells around me and is more carefree with how she feels and how she thinks about things, and is considerate of my emotions. It's not that hard to be considerate of emotions and genuine at the same time, you just have to understand the world around you as much as you critically understand it. I can't talk to my brother without having to constantly think about how the little things I say might flip him off so it's always constrained and forced. When I do say things you can see this little switch go off in his head like I had said something completely out-of-it, I don't know whether this is ENTP. But my sister has that but she takes in what I have to say rationally, and then, i understand that I may have just been looking at it in a subjective way. Though when my brother does this, he expects to "know" me and makes conclusions, whether rational or not, about "why I'd say that" - almost like he's paranoid. But most of the time, I'm fishing for criticism as well, because in a way I'm not sure of myself... almost always... so I don't expect everything to be taken literally, but I expect everything to be considered in a way...

    Ott, I'm not a detail or rational person when it comes to relationships, unless I set out a topic to be like say psychology like now, but when it comes to most things I just want it to flow like anyone would want it to... I just don't want to walk around egg shells and I can sense when other people are doing it too. And if you have to be safe at the sake of being genuine/real it's not worth the effort, and it's torture..
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I dated an INFP for a short time. We got along pretty damn well. It wasn't as bad as trying to date an ENFP woman for instance. They'll call the hell out of your phone dude. THEY JUST......DON'T....STOP....CALLING!
    LMFAO.... i know, cuz its happened to me too.

  3. #33
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    i'm entp, my sister is INFP. i hate her dreams, i hate her schemes. i hate her constant desire to improve reality through asinine methodology, such as veganism.

    i hate hate hate it.



    i don't even know what this thread is about, tbh =/

  4. #34
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    i'm entp, my sister is INFP. i hate her dreams, i hate her schemes. i hate her constant desire to improve reality through asinine methodology, such as veganism.

    i hate hate hate it.



    i don't even know what this thread is about, tbh =/
    SOMEBODY NEEDS A HUG


  5. #35
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    LMFAO.... i know, cuz its happened to me too.
    Yep, it happens to the best of us.

  6. #36
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    i'm entp, my sister is INFP. i hate her dreams, i hate her schemes. i hate her constant desire to improve reality through asinine methodology, such as veganism.

    i hate hate hate it.



    i don't even know what this thread is about, tbh =/
    In all honesty I have the same view on people like that whom ive met throughout life....however ive learnt to accept that such people seem to be necessary in an odd way.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #37
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    i'm entp, my sister is INFP. i hate her dreams, i hate her schemes. i hate her constant desire to improve reality through asinine methodology, such as veganism.

    i hate hate hate it.



    i don't even know what this thread is about, tbh =/
    Haha. Yeah, I felt this need to take out my own viewpoint, and wasn't really paying attention to the OP itself, and just the ENTP-INFP relationship. Maybe because I feel the relationship personally.

    But I guess, looking at it more objectively than before, ENTPs need justifications for doing thing, INFPs are more likely to support something like veganism because they feel that it is just the right thing to do, they may have justifications for it, but that's all they usually need to get going. ENTPs can run something with just the feeling of doing it but they need the justification to get going with something like Veganism as an example. It could be wrong, but that's what I think of it.

    I guess some people will call my ideals 'asinine', but that's only usually because I can't express myself or am not willing to fully express myself to other people in a way they 'get the picture', and I just say 'screw it' to the effort - especially if it's being placed under objective criticism or a term of non-understanding. I'm trying to realize this idea myself as well, so when you say it's asinine with what I gave you, then you're not helping express it either way. In the end, we think it's not going to resolve anything anyway. So us INFPs can be big picture in the sense, that we detect effeteness in methodology if it can not make way for emotions/feeling/humanity as well as rational thinking or whatever you ENTPs justify you're movements in.

    Other than that, I really think INFPs appreciate ENTPs just as they'd appreciate ENFPs or INTPs (and I usually do), like the people that inspire me. Maybe even the only famous figures that can inspire me are Louis CK and Bill Hicks who are both ENTPs. It hurts to know that even though I understand them to the core, despite their shock-tactics, and they'd probably connect with me to the core, - I wouldn't be able to shake of my own personality to relish that connection, in real life situations, without the careful observations that you do whilst watching a movie, etc. I think the OP has a similar problem.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    i'm entp, my sister is INFP. i hate her dreams, i hate her schemes. i hate her constant desire to improve reality through asinine methodology, such as veganism.

    i hate hate hate it.



    i don't even know what this thread is about, tbh =/
    This is a beautiful post. I shall frame it with the heart of trees and the soul of shoes.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    Haha. Yeah, I felt this need to take out my own viewpoint, and wasn't really paying attention to the OP itself, and just the ENTP-INFP relationship. Maybe because I feel the relationship personally.

    But I guess, looking at it more objectively than before, ENTPs need justifications for doing thing, INFPs are more likely to support something like veganism because they feel that it is just the right thing to do, they may have justifications for it, but that's all they usually need to get going. ENTPs can run something with just the feeling of doing it but they need the justification to get going with something like Veganism as an example. It could be wrong, but that's what I think of it.

    I guess some people will call my ideals 'asinine', but that's only usually because I can't express myself or am not willing to fully express myself to other people in a way they 'get the picture', and I just say 'screw it' to the effort - especially if it's being placed under objective criticism or a term of non-understanding. I'm trying to realize this idea myself as well, so when you say it's asinine with what I gave you, then you're not helping express it either way. In the end, we think it's not going to resolve anything anyway. So us INFPs can be big picture in the sense, that we detect effeteness in methodology if it can not make way for emotions/feeling/humanity as well as rational thinking or whatever you ENTPs justify you're movements in.

    Other than that, I really think INFPs appreciate ENTPs just as they'd appreciate ENFPs or INTPs (and I usually do), like the people that inspire me. Maybe even the only famous figures that can inspire me are Louis CK and Bill Hicks who are both ENTPs. It hurts to know that even though I understand them to the core, despite their shock-tactics, and they'd probably connect with me to the core, - I wouldn't be able to shake of my own personality to relish that connection, in real life situations, without the careful observations that you do whilst watching a movie, etc. I think the OP has a similar problem.
    This is a really nice post. I learned a lot.

    URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI-DdHDqS-4"]There is a fun vid[/URL] that shows how a more developed INFP (Lisa) works so well with an ENTP (Craig).

    I hope this will help you see the potential that will be realized in the future and feel more confident in it. FF to 19:40.

  10. #40
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    This is a really nice post. I learned a lot.

    URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI-DdHDqS-4"]There is a fun vid[/URL] that shows how a more developed INFP (Lisa) works so well with an ENTP (Craig).

    I hope this will help you see the potential that will be realized in the future and feel more confident in it. FF to 19:40.
    Thanks, that's good to know it means something to someone .
    I watched the video, but I had to skip like half the video because I didn't know it was a full episode of Craig Ferguson on YouTube, - now I know why so much people watch Craig Ferguson now..

    I've always heard Ferguson was XNXP or ENxP like Conan O'Brien. Though I can see a clear ENTP/ENFP enthusiast on stage.

    Well, being young I probably have some learning to do myself. I think this resembled my connection with my sister more than the connection with my brother. And just to clarify again, my brother's probably not the best archetype for an ENTP, and shows a lot of 'needing-to-fix-people', 'teaching' and even 'stubborn' traits that can belong to Js.... which could in fact be the traits of a strong T in ENTP functioning also.... it could be either really.
    Though, I'm much more certain my sister's an ENXP, and the connection and mannerisms are almost identical. I think even though ENTPs won't admit it, they tune in to a tad bit more appropriate role on stage, even though I've heard and observed that they're usually the same personality in different circumstances. I don't mean a facade, but a more considerate stance 'cause they know they're being watched/judged, so that might make them look XNXP.

    All in all, I'm matching up my own personal experiences to mbti, so I don't want anyone to think that I think that this info is final in any way. I don't think girlfriend-boyfriend relationships can really relate to inter-family relationships, but I guess it can bare fruit contrasting the two.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

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