INFJs, pls help...and Te-users, too. i'm trying to avoid breaking an INFJ's heart. he's a friend. we've tried dating before but i just never felt it* and somewhere along that path he fell in love.
1 - if you were to fall in love with a friend, what is the best way for that friend to tell you she doesn't see a romantic future between the two of you? (short explanation? in person or written?)
2 - have you ever tried pressuring someone into a relationship, by making yourself hyper-available/-accommodating or turning on the big saucer eyes? oblique/indirect displays of romantic feelings that may be difficult to pick up on?
3 - if you are rejected by a friend, does that usually mean the end of the friendship?
1 - how do you reign in your Te in relationships? are you able to soften the blow when rejecting someone for a relationship? (my tendency is to lay out specific reasons why it won't work, but the more manipulated or pressured i feel** the more heartless the Te becomes. i dislike this but Te just wants to solve a problem, after all.)
2 - do you find yourself becoming less of a feeler with the more Te you develop? more emotionally objective? as an ENFP, it seems that sometimes Te is the only recourse...and anyway, if we're already at Te you're kinda fucked: my Fi won't help you and chances are good my Ne helped get us in this situation to begin with!
thanks for your help folks. i feel like i'm about to eviscerate a baby goat.
*that is not a euphemism.
**i think there's a problem with Te and the negative reaction to feeling manipulated that goes beyond explaining it away by claiming tertiary temptation. i have developed a certain amount of Te and in certain situations feel disgusted by irrational displays of emotion. which is odd for an NF, but makes its own perverse kind of sense: you've worked your ass off to *get* some damn Te and someone comes and ruins it with subjective emotion. it's like finishing a beautiful painting and a dog comes along and sprays it. <- rather ectopic thinking but you get the picture.