Ok, so IF your full machinery is employed, and you fall for someone - really fall for them/love them/want to be with them/whatever - and if it turns out they don't return that, can you instantly turn that off and go to 'just friends' with them?
I think that would be analagous to the INFJ situation.
But, I'm gathering you don't even allow yourself to go there until/unless you already know the other person is fully there with you, so are you saying the scenario would never happen for you?
Yeah, I think there's truth to this. I think to some degree it applies to al IxxJ's, though. [I mean, you can peruse a certain typ-c users 'Shyness' thread - he's fully committed to a girl he's never even interacted with!!]i think INFJs commit too soon romantically. i do not understand the means by which they commit, but it seems that they try superimposing a reality on the "relationship" before confirming that it's even there.
It's something I've learned over time - that in many ways there's no 'point' in committing super early, if you don't even know whether there's something THERE. I've learned to let things flow more, rather than impose a reality/vision, as you say, that might not even be a reality.
As for your INFJ, I dunno.. but I wouldn't feel bad if on your end you just need to do what you have to do, especially if he's not able to respect or hear what you're saying.