[ENFP] Common (...ahem, BS) Myths about ENFPs

[Elfboy]

1) ENFPs where their emotions on their sleeves

2) ENFPs are social butterflies who have trouble maintaining long term friendships

3) ENFPs care about what other people think about them

4) ENFPs are sluts/philanderers/"fast"

5) ENFPs love everyone

6) ENFPs are gutless, butterfly chasing weaklings
PUH-LEEZ
you really want to witness the true power of an ENFP? put a child or one of our friends in danger. you WILL feel the wrath of the mighty tempest that is Fi as it cascades merciless judgement upon thee! ENFPs are knights of justice and defenders of the weak and innocent and, if pushed, will give any ENTJ a run for their money.

Edit: I've taken down the descriptions, except for number 6, which I believe is true of all ENFPs.


now, for some more

7) ENFPs are always happy

8) ENFPs have difficulty with keeping their emotions out of the way when a logical decision needs to be made

 

[Anew Leaf]

7) That they create obvious threads.

 

[Elfboy]

7) That they create obvious threads.

go troll somewhere else zombie woman

 

[Anew Leaf]

8) They create mountains out of molehills.

Your thread's purpose seems to be a desire to refute myths about ENFPs. I am here to help.

 

[NPcomplete]

Zombies can't be trolls and trolls can't be zombies.

Unless one wants the mythological system to crash...in which case, one will not only be drowning in rubble, but one's lungs will be full of dust. And asbestos.

:lemonade:

9) They are not zombs.

 

[animenagai]

I find the 'debunking' of these myths just as stereotypical and false as the myths themselves. None of these old or new stereotypes are routinely generated from the the ENFP functions. What you get is just a list of behaviors that only some ENFP's display.

 

[Elfboy]

I find the 'debunking' of these myths just as stereotypical and false as the myths themselves. None of these old or new stereotypes are routinely generated from the the ENFP functions. What you get is just a list of behaviors that only some ENFP's display.

I'm not claiming they apply to 100% of ENFPs, but they sure apply to a lot more than the myths
which "debunks" in particular did you have issue with?

 

[UniqueMixture]

Elfboy you're such a queen lol. I mean that in the best possible way

 

[Elfboy]

Elfboy you're such a queen lol. I mean that in the best possible way

.....forget it.

 

[animenagai]

I'm not claiming they apply to 100% of ENFPs, but they sure apply to a lot more than the myths
which "debunks" in particular did you have issue with?

I find that just about all of them can be better explained through the enneagram.

1.This just depends on how restrained your Fi is. You don't think an ENFP 4w3 sx for example would wear their emotions on their sleeves?

2. Just because you are slow to connect does not mean that other ENFP's are. I think a lot of ENFP's are quick to conenct and that this ultimately has little to do with your MBTI type.

3. You're SO last, of course you don't care, but many ENFP's do. Once again, this has more to do with the enneagram than MBTI.

4. I don't want to offend anyone but there are definitely enough stories about there about Ne dom sluts. You can't just cherry pick, they do exist and you can't neglect that. I know you'll have something to say about this, I'll say more about this after this next point.

5. This one may have some worth. The Te bitchslap is very real.

My general problem with your analysis is that you insist on using caricatures and overly-simplified lists to explain typology. Let me use an analogy, say a bunch of 3rd world refugees who had no previous interaction with the western world migrated to USA. One man ends up hanging with Jersey-Shore-types and goes clubbing 3 days a week. He then describes people in developed countries as individuals who love to drink, party and sleep around. His fellow refugee on the other hand ends up taking an interest in learning and reading. She enjoys a quiet cup of coffee with her friends in the library where they can learn about things together. She then describes people in developed countries as people who are dilligent, intellectually curious and private. Who's right? Well as pieces of analysis, both of them failed, because they only described a part of the population and then over-generalised it. To me, this is what you're doing with MBTI. You're taking behaviours that ultimately have no real causal correlation with types or functions and you over-generalise them. Like the second refugee, you are just replacing one over-simplified caricature with another one - one that describes your particular corner of the world better.

 

[Glycerine]

1) ENFPs where their emotions on their sleeves
energy and enthusiasm: yes
emotions: definitely not
the emotions of an ENFP are akin to dramatic literature, opera, poetry or an intense fantasy story. if ENFPs wore their emotions on their sleeves, they would go around sounding like heroic princes 24 hours a day (this is not an exaggeration, we really do sound like that naturally). ENFPs are very selective about where/to whom they display their true emotions too. for the most part, our feelings go unspoken and are expressed artistically rather than overtly

2) ENFPs are social butterflies who have trouble maintaining long term friendships
NO! the opposite. ENFPs are slow to connect, but if we let you into our circle of intimates, you have a life long friend.

3) ENFPs care about what other people think about them
no again, we use Introverted Feeling. ENFPs are focused on how they feel, how things relate to them, what they like and want, not the approval of others. if an ENFP does care about what you think about them, that means they really like you.

4) ENFPs are sluts/philanderers/"fast"
for most ENFPs, emotional connection is a necessary part of attraction. we might seem like we're hitting on you, but don't flatter yourself, it usually has little to do with you personally. ENFPs are bubbly, intense and usually very sexual people, so we often give the impression of being sexually open doors when in fact we talk to everyone like that.

5) ENFPs love everyone
ENFPs are nice to most people, but this is not the same thing. respect is very important to most of us, but that doesn't mean we "like" you. in fact, a large percentage of ENFPs are pretty misanthropic and we have very strict criteria for whom we open up to/care about and whom we don't. for instance, if you treat your friends like dirt or pick on people weaker than you, you're crossed off the list, pretty much immediately (this is just one example. every ENFP has a different list of "friend filters")

6) ENFPs are gutless, butterfly chasing weaklings
PUH-LEEZ
you really want to witness the true power of an ENFP? put a child or one of our friends in danger. you WILL feel the wrath of the mighty tempest that is Fi as it cascades the merciless judgement upon thee! (see what I meant by poetic language in point 1? I would talk like this all day if I could get away with it. you're probably laughing reading this, but I'm totally serious). ENFPs are knights of justice and defenders of the weak and innocent and, if pushed, will give any ENTJ a run for their money.

1. Many of the ENFPs I know do. In many ways, they can be as neurotic and affirmation seeking as ENFJs. It really depends on the person.
2. Just about every ENFP I know seems to thrive on constant interaction. It depends on the person.
3. Oh please. The ones I know are constantly seeking feedback from others and LOVE affirmations but that doesn't mean they will necessarily let others sway them. You seem to be the perfect example with type of threads and posts you write. You seem to put a big emphasis on how you are nonconformist and don't care about what others think. If you truly didn't care, you wouldn't work so hard at presenting that type of image. It depends on the person.
5. Of course, they don't like everyone but they seem to enjoy the essence of people a lot.

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=5109]Glycerine[/MENTION]

because I'm tired of people assuming I care about them when I don't. in the past month I've gotten so many people saying "I thought you cared about me!" and other similar BS that yesterday I kind of exploded and said "I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU!!! DID YOU HONESTLY THINK I LIKED YOU OR SOMETHING?! NO! I DESPISE YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A TOOL TO ME!"

I try to be make it pretty clear if I do like someone (I'm supportive, very affectionate, try to be there for them) but a couple times in the past I've had this problem of attracting emotional fucking vampires who have clung to me and tried to suck my feelings dry. unfortunately, a few times in the past they've been people I needed for one or several of my objectives so I could just tell them to fuck off like I do most people. if you manipulate me, try to pull the "woe is me! I thought you loved me!" card or think that your generosity obliges me to certain conditions, I will fucking crush you and leave your psyche like a pillaged city.

....and that's why people assuming I care about them pisses me off.



sorry if that was a little more intense than the response you were looking for

 

[Jaguar]

Change the thread title to align with reality: Common BS Myths about Elfboy.
You have a right to speak for yourself, but you do not have a right to speak for anyone else.

Btw, your comments make ENFPs sound like used car salesmen. Congrats.

Edit: My comments were based on this post:

because I'm tired of people assuming I care about them when I don't. in the past month I've gotten so many people saying "I thought you cared about me!" and other similar BS that yesterday I kind of exploded and said "I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU!!! DID YOU HONESTLY THINK I LIKED YOU OR SOMETHING?! NO! I DESPISE YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A TOOL TO ME!"

All of this was added after my post:

I try to be make it pretty clear if I do like someone (I'm supportive, very affectionate, try to be there for them) but a couple times in the past I've had this problem of attracting emotional fucking vampires who have clung to me and tried to suck my feelings dry. unfortunately, a few times in the past they've been people I needed for one or several of my objectives so I could just tell them to fuck off like I do most people. if you manipulate me, try to pull the "woe is me! I thought you loved me!" card or think that your generosity obliges me to certain conditions, I will fucking crush you and leave your psyche like a pillaged city.

....and that's why people assuming I care about them pisses me off.
sorry if that was a little more intense than the response you were looking for

Nothing you have posted changes the fact that the only person you can speak for is yourself.

 

[Starry]

Oh Elfboy...are you over here getting yourself in trouble again? *heavy sigh*

fwiw - I do relate to the feeling of not-fitting the general ENFP description...which if you read enough of them online...you might start to think it is exclusively: A more extroverted 7w6 so/sx that is under-the-influence of alcohol and holding a puppy.

Here...I quickly typed up some responses to what you outlined in your OP:

1) ENFPs where their emotions on their sleeves
I do…but I wasn’t raised in an environment/culture which encouraged emotional suppression in-the-least haha. But my ENFP 7w6 so/sx friend…you wouldn’t think she was ever anything other than happy.



2) ENFPs are social butterflies who have trouble maintaining long term friendships
No. While I’m definitely energized and inspired by social interaction…I have few ‘new friends’. Most of my friends have been my friends since highschool or early-adulthood. If I become friends with someone…I expect it to be for life.


3) ENFPs care about what other people think about them
If I like you…I care what you think of me. If not…no. I have never been one to curb my behavior in such a way to ensure I am ‘well-liked’.


4) ENFPs are sluts/philanderers/"fast"
I was a bit wild & crazy in my younger years…but not ‘sexually’. I am one of those die-hard romantics. Like I’ve never had sex with anyone that I wasn’t totally head-over-heals for.


5) ENFPs love everyone
Let’s just say I’m disappointed by people on a daily basis.

6) ENFPs are gutless, butterfly chasing weaklings
Just being forced to live as an ENFP day-in-and-day-out takes courage!

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=195]Jaguar[/MENTION]
perhaps if 90% of your post didn't deal with hating on various aspects of typology, I would be more inclined to listen to you. in the mean time, do you have anything to add to the thread?

[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]
I don't my frustrations are really type related at all at this point lol
perhaps I'll say more about it on my blog, but not here.

 

[Anew Leaf]

10) They often miss obvious points being made.

 

[Jaguar]

[MENTION=195]Jaguar[/MENTION]
perhaps if 90% of your post didn't deal with hating on various aspects of typology, I would be more inclined to listen to you. in the mean time, do you have anything to add to the thread?

My post had nothing to do with "hating on various aspects of typology". Apparently you can't even read people's posts now, without making up more nonsense to cover your ass. My comment stands — you have a right to speak for yourself, not anyone else. And certainly not for all ENFPs.

The hatred was in your own post:

"I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU!!! DID YOU HONESTLY THINK I LIKED YOU OR SOMETHING?! NO! I DESPISE YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A TOOL TO ME!"

Lol.

 

[Elfboy]

My post had nothing to do with "hating on various aspects of typology". Apparently you can't even read people's posts now, without making up more nonsense to cover your ass. My comment stands — you have a right to speak for yourself, not anyone else. And certainly not for all ENFPs.

your posts are topical because the majority of them have to do with telling people/groups of people etc what they're doing wrong and pointing out flaws rather than contributing to the conversation. this is topical because, in the event that you do try to give constructive criticism, it makes you lose credibility.
this thread is a good example. I'm really not sure why you're here. I guess what I'm asking is "what's your point"

The hatred was in your own post:

bah! hatred is a gross understatement, but neither is it topical. feel free to talk to me about it on my blog, but it was a mistake for me to even bring it up on this thread in the first place.

 

[Anew Leaf]

11) ENFPs are very self-aware.

 

[Jaguar]

your posts are topical because the majority of them have to do with telling people/groups of people etc what they're doing wrong and pointing out flaws rather than contributing to the conversation.

Pointing out how and why something is flawed is, in fact, contributing — whether you like it or not. I question everything. Unlike yourself, I don't believe something is true simply because someone says so. Swallowing concepts hook, line, and sinker without critical analysis is for the gullible.

Since you still refuse to address the content of my original post, I'll tell you for the third time — the only person you can speak for is yourself. You're not the ENFP spokesman. If you were capable of being reasonable, you would have simply posted: "You're right. I can only speak for myself." And that would have been the end of it.

This thread is one of many where you seem to equate Elfboy with all ENFPs despite the fact that Fi is highly subjective and can vary greatly from one person to the next. But for some bizarre reason, you take it upon yourself to speak for all of them.

Really, you have no serious interest in type theory or psychology.
Slapping a 4-letter type on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is basically all you care to do. Enough of the nonsense, already.