[ENFJ] Show ENFJ some love

[Domino]

I take it back!

Too late! I'm going to quote box it into online eternity!

 

[MacGuffin]

ENFJs are mean!

 

[Domino]

ENFJs are mean!

Stop. CRYING!!! :steam:

 

[clueless]

Like the little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead, when ENFJs are good they are very, very good but when they are bad they are horrid (beware, nursery rhyme reference!)

Ha ha funny.

 

[MacGuffin]

Stop. CRYING!!! :steam:

*covers face with hands and weeps silently*

I'm not crying!

 

[clueless]

ENFJs sound wonderful. I just wish I knew some IRL.

Jae Rae

Me too

 

[Spartacuss]

done

 

[ceecee]

I know I already got sappy sweet on my ENFJ a few pages back but I have a little more love to share.

I was up one night and couldn't sleep. Nothing new. I started looking for something to watch and came across this old Jon Voight movie; Conrack. Beautiful film. I just loved it. The only Pat Conroy book I have read was The Prince of Tides and it was so depressing I couldn't continue it. The next day I went and bought the book. Craig asked me if I had gotten a new book (I only read once I am in bed at night) and I told him about the movie, adding I had not read his other book, except the one but I planned to get them all and read them, depressing or not.

My birthday was a few weeks ago. As I was getting ready for bed that night I went to pull back the covers. Under my pillows, wrapped in a big ribbon were all the Pat Conroy books, with the exception of the Prince of Tides. The bookmark on top said...I'll be sure to mark your place when you fall asleep reading and turn out the light. Love Craig.

I just sat there amazed. It is the rare person that can remember a single conversation about nothing special and turn it into something special. That's the ENFJ-ness. No matter how busy, how overwhelmed we can get with everyday life, he always remembers these small details and conversations. He's always paid attention like no one else I have ever known. Extraordinary. And I happily got no reading done that night either.

 

[Desperado44]

Why has this thread died down?

And why can't there be more ENFJs in the world? Seriously, I'm miffed at all the negative stuff I read about ENFJs... frankly, it sounds like a lot of mis-typing.

I'm a pretty hardcore INTP female (was slightly INFP as a child, but then real life woke e up), and I unexpectedly met a male ENFJ at work and I haven't been the same since. Seriously, he's my hero. No one has ever focused me, calmed me, encouraged me more.

And when I read that ENFJs are not only rare, but male ENFJs are even rarer still... well, it explains why I've been single for so long... I've been waiting to meet that male ENFJ and they come around once in a blue moon?

And it sucks that he's out of the country 6 months of the year. And it sucks that he has a girlfriend. Sucks harder that I fell head over heels for him, and he acknowledged that he kinda sorta fell for me, too. And it really, really sucks that he's so incredibly honorable and loyal that he really wants to make that relationship work, and it really, really, really sucks that I like him all the more for being that loyal and honorable.

Sense a pattern here?

Anyway. Just trying to resurrect this thread. And trying to get more ENFJ males to hit on INTP females.

GREAT THREAD

Wow......you just described EXACTLY what I am going through.....from the other side. I'm an ENFJ male..........and I'm in the unenviable position of falling for a female coworker....and she is MARRIED......same thing as you.....she is a strong I....I believe she is either an ISFP or maybe and ISTP......it vascillates in my head/heart from day to day.

We had insane attaction the MOMENT we saw each other....it was so damn eery.

I too am incredibly loyal and honorable.....and will NOT go there....NOT break up a home/marriage. But it is REALLY hard...........we are so attracted and the girl just melts me......

Like you, she is quiet....some said 'a stuck up bitch'....and she isn't at all....she is just a strong "I".......I really bring her out of her shell and everyone is amazed......she has changed since I arrived.....and we spend more time together during the day then we should........but when I ignore her.....she comes and finds me.....or calls extensions until she finds me.....then I walk in her office and she just lights up............

....couple all of this with her husband being gone for weeks at a time.......and you have a combustible MESS going on....

ENFJ's put a ton of value on loyalty and honor.......he won't break it.....neither will I.......but it is so damn miserable to not just steal her away and keep her for my own.............damn it.

You're not alone........

 

[Indil]

He sounds like a winner! Gimme some rope, you hold the bag and we'll "sack" him for ya!

Frankly, I can't think of many things as frustrating as being separated from someone who just clicks with you. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't "click" with just about ANYBODY. It's like the freakin' planets have to align and that makes me absolutely crazy. The rare bird appears, and oh look, you like him, and oh look, he likes you too, and oh look, he's [gay/engaged/married]!

!

You've got that right. It came right out of nowhere, especially since I knew he was dating his coworker looooong before I had a chance to meet him, so he wasn't even in the "To-Be-Click-Considered" pile!

GREAT THREAD

We had insane attaction the MOMENT we saw each other....it was so damn eery.

I too am incredibly loyal and honorable.....and will NOT go there....NOT break up a home/marriage. But it is REALLY hard...........we are so attracted and the girl just melts me......

.......

ENFJ's put a ton of value on loyalty and honor.......he won't break it.....neither will I.......but it is so damn miserable to not just steal her away and keep her for my own.............damn it.

You're not alone........

Yeah, it was *close* to at first sight... I say close, 'cause I'm always 2 steps behind. It was first sight for him, but I was kind of in denial for awhile before I realized what was going on. And then, looking back, I realized... whoa, he was really into me quite early on.

I have really, really thick walls, too... most of the time, if an available guy is around me, the walls get thicker and higher. I'm quite more relaxed and myself around guys who are taken. This one? No walls. Negative walls, actually. It was as if I'd always known him.

And OOOOHHHH that loyalty and honor. All of his friends describe him as the most loyal person they know (almost to a fault, really). And to see him with that internal battle on the inside was... awful to watch, frankly, in the short (mmmm, 6 weeks or so) time we worked on this project together.

We actually had a confrontation about it. It wasn't pretty -- him nearly ripping out his hair 'cause he was so confused that this was happening to him, me trying not to cry in fear of being hurt and telling him it's best he just stay away.

Which didn't work, btw.

But now he's out of the country, working side by side with his girlfriend, I'm only assuming trying to make that relationship work, and us trying to develop another project together 'cause first and foremost... we worked really, really well together and want to do more. And I don't want to lose the most awesomest partner I've worked with.

And he knows my feelings haven't changed, but I know that he knows that I have ABSOLUTELY no desire in being the cause of breaking up his relationship (we discussed it early on).

It sucks. As I told him early on, "I have no idea if you're just great business partner, best friend material, or a potential love interest!" I'm just happy to have the first of the three and am doing my damnedest at maintaining that. Even if I wish for all three.

Sigh.

 

[bandit]

I'm not sure if a long lost friend is ENFJ but I remember being very close to him when we were studying in uni, years ago. He was this very out going, sociable, people-person, full of life, full of energy, full of enthusiasm and extremely passionate and very personal. Very funny, very fun, very neat, tidy, clean, and admitted that he's an absolute perfectionist. He had his troubles of people who had manipulated him and took advantage of his generosity and kindness. He was so deeply upset about it and took it quite personally, despite the fact that it happened a long time ago.

One time, he suggested that we both colour our hair of 2 different colours. His, blue and mine, pink. He was so excited about it that he went all out to find out where to get the hydrogen peroxide chemicals and semi permanent hair dye, how much they would cost, how much of what to mix to get the desired affect, how to do it, how long it would take for the colours to fade, health precautions, possible side effects, etc... He found out everything that he needed to know with utter precision and was VERY adamant about not having faded blue hair. He said that he will never have his hair to turn green in colour from the faded blue dye because it'll look like he has grass growing on his head

I've always remembered him as the guardian or freedom fighter. He would always defend me whenever there was any negative energy from the other housemates and upheld justice whenever possible. I never really spoke up for myself then (because I didn't quite see the real necessity to inform the 'enemy' of any of my thoughts) but he would and would do it with an fiery fist and a mental list of very plausible defense for anything. There were cliques and packs within this huge group of housemates, classmates and friends and me and him made a strong unit together (he was on my side and I was on his too). When I had troubles, he would be there for me, always.

I knew a dozen of other people, who were my friends, who hated him so much that they talked bad about him a lot with me. I never echoed their negativity because I treasured the friendship I had with him. Unfortunately, somehow, he thought I was 'with them' and decided to quit speaking to me and avoided me at all costs. That was the last time I saw him too. I really miss him

 

[Angry Ayrab]

^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes these people should be cherished at all cost. Man that is a really sad story, good luck to you and mending that wound.

 

[Domino]

Bandit, what a nasty blow. I'm so sorry such a great friendship could not have been salvaged. If I loved you that much, no way would I just shut you out and walk off, not without explanation or wanting to hear your side of the story.

 

[Haphazard]

I try and I try but you people just keep expecting more, more, more!

I'm a freaking INTJ. My affection reserves are very small. I thought you guys would know that by now.

 

[Domino]

I try and I try but you people just keep expecting more, more, more!

I'm a freaking INTJ. My affection reserves are very small. I thought you guys would know that by now.

I love your frequent comas.

 

[Kanerou]

I try and I try but you people just keep expecting more, more, more!

I'm a freaking INTJ. My affection reserves are very small. I thought you guys would know that by now.

Tch. We need you for subterfuge! We'll take care of the affection.

 

[JAVO]

I find it difficult to reply to this thread because I don't feel that I can adequately describe what many ENFJ friends have meant to me and how they have contributed to my social maturity and development throughout my life. I'll try, but don't have time to write everything I wish I could.

ENFJ's throughout my life include:

• Uncle: a pastor who I've typed as ENFJ
• Pastor in high school: ENFJ
• Current manager at work: likely EnFJ
• Former friend at work: ENFJ
• 2 current friends: ENFJ
• 1 current friend: ENTJ who functions equally well as F, so I'll include them here too

That's a large number of ENFJ's! I'm not sure where they all came from. Honestly, I think it's because I both consciously and unconsciously seek them out.

I would have to admit that ENFJ's are responsible for about 90% of my social and emotional development and maturity. Without them, I'd be a cold, unsocial, cynical, depressed, lonely, and unbalanced INTP. I was this at one time. Sure, INTP's are skilled at using logic and intuition to figure things out and adapt on their own, but this same logic and intuition reveals that certain aspects cannot be developed on their own. A friend is needed, and I've always found the best of friends in people with the ENFJ preference.

Regarding my EnFJ manager at work: I'm currently very happy with my job, and he's the best manager I've ever worked with.

 

[Domino]

High five!

 

[bandit]

Angry Ayrab: Thank you. I'm still looking to see if there is any way I can try to contact him. God alone knows where he is right now.

PinkPiranha: I'm not sure why he didn't come to me and asked me personally if there were some sort of misunderstanding that I was unaware of. I am still curious. Does he sound ENFJ (or is it too difficult to tell)? If he is (more or less), like what Angry Ayrab had mentioned earlier, people should cherish ENFJ people more.

P.S. Is there an ENFJ hate thread somewhere? Gosh

 

[Domino]

Well, Bandit, it's difficult to say if he was ENFJ or not (sure sounds like it! Right down to the hair-dyeing! I did that a lot myself - only I was in your camp - I went pink and purple!) but I think it might be important for you to get some explanation from him about his behavior.

There's a hate an ENFJ thread here somewhere!! lol Someone want to link Bandit to it?