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[MBTI General] FPs and being surprised by others who share the same feelings as you

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
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ENFP
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5w4
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sx/sp
I used to have a tendency to think things like
- "no one would share my interests in _____"
- "no one feels the same way as I do about that"
- "no one else would feel that way"
- "no one was going to stand up for that guy if I didn't"

then one day at around 14 I decided "fuck it" and became much more open about my interests. to my surprise, I found that their were a number of people who could relate to my interests and feelings on things. it never occurred to me that there were actually other people out their with whom I shared emotional emotional ground and preferences

do any other FPs relate to this. I'm pretty sure it has to do with Fi
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
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3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
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4w5
I think I felt the same way when I 'opened up' at 17. But then I felt threatened because I didn't feel special anymore :ninja:
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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May 3, 2009
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sx
I realized this when I discovered the Internet, the glorious Internet.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
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Yes, and I felt a massive alienation from others. Most of this feeling was rooted in reality; it was confirmed by invalidation from others, being made to feel like some voice of dissent or like a weirdo because I didn't go along with the consensus, and finding many people just plain didn't know what I was talking about (both with interests & feelings).

It was surprising to find people who feel similar to me, and it continues to be surprising, because they are not the majority. However, I find it increasingly easier to relate to other people, even when we have little in common. I've taken to stripping away the surface stuff about people & seeing what is there about them that is just human.

I see this weird mix in INFP forums all the time. They all mostly have this sense of alienation, and it IS rooted in reality, and yet someone of another type could show up & claim to be INFP & relate their feelings & most of them would say, "I can relate!".
 

Joehobo

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFP
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9w1
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sx/sp
I can relate to these posts. What the OP brough up are reasons why I felt so apart and couldn't understand people untill I was 16-17.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
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Pretty much this, especially concerning interests.

Although the feelings of shame haven't gone away...

for me it was more paranoia. "people are gonna see me as weak if they know my real self"
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
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5w6
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sp/so
I used to have a tendency to think things like
- "no one would share my interests in _____"
- "no one feels the same way as I do about that"
- "no one else would feel that way"
- "no one was going to stand up for that guy if I didn't"

then one day at around 14 I decided "fuck it" and became much more open about my interests. to my surprise, I found that their were a number of people who could relate to my interests and feelings on things. it never occurred to me that there were actually other people out their with whom I shared emotional emotional ground and preferences

do any other FPs relate to this. I'm pretty sure it has to do with Fi

Growing up, I had the opposite problem. I expected that others would share my interests and feelings about things, then I'd be disappointed in them if they didn't. I didn't realize my own uniqueness at the time. After awhile of being ridiculed and having my feelings invalidated, I started keeping alot about myself inside. The internet feels like a safer place to open up than the real world. I know I find someone to relate to about certain things online. I
 

SD45T-2

Senior Jr.
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
4,229
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ESTJ
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1w2
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so/sp
I see this weird mix in INFP forums all the time. They all mostly have this sense of alienation, and it IS rooted in reality, and yet someone of another type could show up & claim to be INFP & relate their feelings & most of them would say, "I can relate!".
Sort of INFP community solipsism?
 
0

011235813

Guest
I can't say it's been an issue for me. I've had my moments of feeling different (partly as a result of being constantly told I WAS different as a child) but it really doesn't feel like a fundamental part of who I am. On the whole, I identify and empathize with people pretty easily and don't find it hard to discover things I have in common with them. I have some niche interests, but I've always been pretty lucky in finding people who shared them.

This might partly be a 4 vs. 9 thing ... or maybe a non-9 thing. I don't think it's isolation that makes me feel misunderstood; it's a lack of recognition and appreciation. I like flying under the radar most of the time but I hate being chronically overlooked because I'm quiet and accommodating and have to push back against that.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
Sort of INFP community solipsism?

Not at all.... it's quite the opposite. They find it easy to imagine others' feelings so vividly that they can take them on as their own. More like INFP community empathy for foreign feelings.
 
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