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  1. #51
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubtleFighter View Post
    ...
    The Fe/Fi difference goes along with what you're saying about how you tell her all your problems but she doesn't do the same. To an Fe-user, part of how we try to become closer to someone is by creating an emotional merge. I will tell you what's going on in my life (including emotionally), and you will do the same. The closer we want to become to someone, the more we want to share with the other person and have them share with us. This works well if the other person is an Fe-user, but Fi-users don't work the same way. This is where looking at intent comes in again. For most Fe-users, not telling someone our emotional problems is an indication that we don't feel close to them (maybe there's a difference with men and women with this, but to some extent I think this is true for Fe-users of both genders). But Fi-users can feel close to others but not tell them their emotional problems in the same way. Another reason that Fe-users tell people they're close to about their emotional problems is that that is one of the ways that we process our emotions and get on the path to feeling better--we want to vent to someone we trust and get affirmation and then maybe problem-solve/get their opinion on the matter. But Fi-users don't need to talk about their problems to feel better emotionally the same way that Fe-users do. It seems like you're worried that if she's not telling you her problems that she will have a harder time working through them, but for the most part, that's not the case. Usually if Fi-users really need to talk, they'll let you know, but talking about it is not a requirement in order to work through it and feel better. I won't lie--it is tough for me to balance the need to "emotionally merge" with wanting to respect that ENFPs don't need to talk about things emotionally. (Fi-users, please let me know if anything I'm saying about Fi-users here is not correct.)...
    I know this is old but I can't let it fly. @SubtleFighter are you still here? Either what you wrote in 2012 (you have two different ideas in this paragraph) is false OR I'm a Fe user. And I'm pretty sure I'm an ENFP so what I'm feeling right now is:
    Edited to say that now Im even more confused as @Esoteric Wench, an ENFP, also seems to agree with this idea. What is going on people!?

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    I know this is old but I can't let it fly. @SubtleFighter are you still here? Either what you wrote in 2012 (you have two different ideas in this paragraph) is false OR I'm a Fe user. And I'm pretty sure I'm an ENFP so what I'm feeling right now is:
    Edited to say that now Im even more confused as @Esoteric Wench, an ENFP, also seems to agree with this idea. What is going on people!?
    People have different ideas about pretty much everything.

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