Ok...where to start...there is an INFP girl my age at my grad school who I haven't really paid attention to all year. Thinking back on it now, I remember her sending obvious eye contact and subtle smiles randomly but I just didn't think anything of these things. After all, we had never talked so I guess I didn't even analyze it. But anyways..recently she smiled at me big and I was just overwhelmed. I knew
there was a connection to be made. After analyzing a few other details plus the history, I am sure she was sending me signals and probably for a while, just not sure what kind. This girl is super, super introverted. I've approached her a few times (note: I don't do this sort of thing.. I had no choice. I have never felt so driven) and we've studied together, and my gut tells me she enjoys my presence even though it's been very quiet (a comfortable quiet). She acts weird around me, almost like she's trying to ignore me. But I have a OVERWHELMING gut feeling that she is into me. Yes it probably seems like I'm just wanting this to be true but boy my intuition NEVER fails me. Yet she just seems very unapproachable even though she looks comfortable around everyone else. I seriously can't stop thinking about her, and feel physically ill not knowing what the deal is and not being sure how to open up to her and vice versa. The way I feel when I look at her is indescribable. I don't feel this way about the ENFP as much but still see a potential there, but my reality may be skewed temporarily so I'm ignoring that for now
So now for the fun part...a big group of us went out this weekend. I looked forward all week to be in a relaxing environment involving alcohol and be able to run with this and see where it goes. My plan for the night was 100% to get to know her better and vice versa. So I show up at the bar, and an ENFP in our
class (who I have been getting 0 signals from) is all over me. At this point I'm super confused. Any other time and I would have thought I was the luckiest dude..having a girl do so much of the work. So anyways, I actually had a great time talking with this girl and literally talked to her the entire night without even giving thought to it really (physically attractive as well, both these girls are). We went back to her place and hung out, didn't do anything even though I could've easily...it just did not feel right. Rewind one week and I would've gone for it without a doubt. At the bar I wanted to talk to the INFP, but
1)She was in a group of people the whole time
2)How the hell do you make that transition without looking like a complete asshole to the ENFP that you've been having such a great time with and sending her signals as well (inadvertently)?
So I guess here are my questions.
1) I am sure the INFP was observing us at the bar, how did this look to her and what could she be thinking about how I feel about her? I am afraid she thinks I was playing a game and trying to make her jealous, and the thought of that makes me sad because of how delicate she appears
2) Right now all I want to do is to get to know the INFP as quickly as possible..I just can't stop thinking about her. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY! It's purely my gut controlling my actions. How do I do this? I've been talking with the ENFP on campus and she's great and all but I just need to pursue this first. I don't want to hurt the ENFPs feelings at all. In fact it just feels wrong whenever I'm talking with her and I get the feeling I may possibly be leading her on. And I also feel like I may have hurt the INFPs feelings. Whatever I do it looks like I'll just appear as an asshole
3) I need to figure out where I stand with the INFP immediately. What would be the best approach possible? I can't just be patient and see what happens, I need to take action. I just feel too much like absolute shit right now to not attempt to fix my feelings
Please help restore my sanity, I am just too overwhelmed to know what to do. I should mention that my introverted feeling function hit me like an avalanche like a year ago (26 now) so that explains why I'm being so weak. I want to know what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, and what to do about it, and what your interpretation of the facts are. Part of me thinks I'm just imagining a fantasy with the INFP just because I have such little information and such a big imagination haha. Thanks so much for reading my long and likely incoherent post