User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 88

  1. #51
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,570

    Default

    this is torture.

    @INTJguy123: actions matter. and in my opinion, the INFP gave a pretty clear message: she is in no rush to meet you halfway. who knows what her reasons are but text replies like "haha" and "yeah" are standard fare lukewarm responses.

    all you can do is decide how far you're wiling to take this. i see that you put your cards on the table (earlier than many INTJs i've known) and she didn't exactly respond enthusiastically. do you want to pursue someone who doesn't have the communication skills or certitude to respond to a red-blooded man's clear expression of interest?

    ETA: what does it matter how you act when you see her around? if your feelings are no longer involved. if they are (and i somehow suspect vestiges remain, after all, you're still open to her interest): be yourself but let her come to you. detach, get on with your life, stop thinking about this. people worth having don't make themselves unconquerable.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  2. #52
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    19

    Default

    Indeed I am trying to make a judgement on her character, but feel like it may be a bit premature so I'm attempting to be patient. A couple of people have mentioned that I have laid out my cards, and I'm wondering if that's true. All I've said is that I wanted to spend time with her and learn about her because she is incredibly interesting and implied that I wanted to discuss how art can make me feel (hoping she would assume that I want to know how and if art can move her). From an INTJs perspective (or from someone very familiar with INTJs), that is exposing a ridiculous amount of vulnerability. But since she doesn't know this about me, could an INFP interpret my messages as "luke warm" as well? Just trying to see if I need to be even more direct soon

  3. #53
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    868

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJguy123 View Post
    Indeed I am trying to make a judgement on her character, but feel like it may be a bit premature so I'm attempting to be patient. A couple of people have mentioned that I have laid out my cards, and I'm wondering if that's true. All I've said is that I wanted to spend time with her and learn about her because she is incredibly interesting and implied that I wanted to discuss how art can make me feel (hoping she would assume that I want to know how and if art can move her). From an INTJs perspective (or from someone very familiar with INTJs), that is exposing a ridiculous amount of vulnerability. But since she doesn't know this about me, could an INFP interpret my messages as "luke warm" as well? Just trying to see if I need to be even more direct soon
    To me, that is a lot of vulnerability for anyone, and the message was clear. I think you've done wonderfully. If you're sure the ENFP thing isn't a factor as you've said, I think the ball is in her court, and as I said, if she's not bright enough to take you up on it, find another INFP who will.

  4. #54
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mia_infp View Post
    To me, that is a lot of vulnerability for anyone, and the message was clear. I think you've done wonderfully. If you're sure the ENFP thing isn't a factor as you've said, I think the ball is in her court, and as I said, if she's not bright enough to take you up on it, find another INFP who will.
    It makes me so happy to hear this! Thanks!! I guess the fact that it was over text message makes it seem "easier" to me. I wanted so badly to look at her in the eyes and say it instead...but I just kept chickening out

    Now when you say the ball is in her court, does that mean that she needs to initiate an interaction with me? Or that it is her turn to open up a bit and that I should go back to approaching her. Again...the whole 2 week timeline is confusing me

    EDIT for agentfurrina: I guess when I say my feelings are not involved, I meant it more like my Te has regained control whereas before I was being driven by Fi. More like...I will once again be able to act cool and calm and less sensitive. I view my feelings towards her now like schrodinger's cat. I simultaneously like her and dislike (romantically) right now. I want to open the box, but don't want to somehow lose the box by acting socially disgraceful

  5. #55
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,570

    Default

    why do you care if she interprets them as lukewarm? people think that interest, even clearly or passionately expressed, does foundational work in a healthy relationship.

    it doesn't. it's just opens the door. see if she has the interest and emotional intelligence to walk through it.

    and i understand how you're using your Te but imo you're trying to solve the wrong problem grasshopper.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  6. #56
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by agentfurrina View Post
    why do you care if she interprets them as lukewarm? people think that interest, even clearly or passionately expressed, does foundational work in a healthy relationship.

    it doesn't. it's just opens the door. see if she has the interest and emotional intelligence to walk through it.
    Well...if a huge moment of vulnerability from me is not appreciated for what it is...well that just hurts. Biiiiggg time. Even if not reciprocated, a simple acknowledgment of my bravery would mean a tremendous amount. Her reply of "aww that's sweet" is so ambiguous. It's either a crushing blow or her version of acknowledging my rare moment of openness. So I guess that's why I care.

    Also, I think what you said about the expression of interest merely opening doors, may not fully apply here with 2 strongly expressed introverts. Especially 2 types that are surprisingly similarly secretive. A lot of reading between the lines may be necessary I feel like. Maybe that's more applicable to extroverts? Just trying to learn. I don't have any romantic experience with introverts. Pretty much an ENFP magnet over here. You guys just make it so fucking easy to be my awesome self

  7. #57
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    868

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJguy123 View Post
    Well...if a huge moment of vulnerability from me is not appreciated for what it is...well that just hurts. Biiiiggg time. Even if not reciprocated, a simple acknowledgment of my bravery would mean a tremendous amount. Her reply of "aww that's sweet" is so ambiguous. It's either a crushing blow or her version of acknowledging my rare moment of openness. So I guess that's why I care.

    Also, I think what you said about the expression of interest merely opening doors, may not fully apply here with 2 strongly expressed introverts. Especially 2 types that are surprisingly similarly secretive. A lot of reading between the lines may be necessary I feel like. Maybe that's more applicable to extroverts? Just trying to learn. I don't have any romantic experience with introverts. Pretty much an ENFP magnet over here. You guys just make it so fucking easy to be my awesome self
    Allright, that's it... no one hurts a sweet little adorably vulnerable INTJ and gets away with it on my watch. You want I should have .... a "talk".... with her? Say the word man....

  8. #58
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by agentfurrina View Post

    and i understand how you're using your Te but imo you're trying to solve the wrong problem grasshopper.
    What problem am I trying to solve? Honestly I'm trying to solve anything that is solvable haha. And what problem should I be focusing on?

  9. #59
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,570

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJguy123 View Post
    Her reply of "aww that's sweet" is so ambiguous. It's either a crushing blow or her version of acknowledging my rare moment of openness. So I guess that's why I care.
    the bold is what i'd say to something i've somehow objectified. like a basket of kittens or a malformed ashtray presented by a toddler...or a man whose interest will be kept at arm's length. but that's just an ENFP talkin. who knows whether the boiling depths of INFP passion find their external expression in "aww..."

    Also, I think what you said about the expression of interest merely opening doors, may not fully apply here with 2 strongly expressed introverts. Especially 2 types that are surprisingly similarly secretive.
    agreed, and bon chance, truly. the mechanics of introvert-on-introvert relationships are like watching a naked PGA tournament.

    (having said that, the sweetest marriage i know of is my INFP little sis and her INFJ hub. but they were friends for two years first, and talked about marriage when they finally got around to having their first date.)

    i should know, i was there.

    Pretty much an ENFP magnet over here. You guys just make it so fucking easy to be my awesome self
    aww...

    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  10. #60
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,570

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJguy123 View Post
    What problem am I trying to solve? Honestly I'm trying to solve anything that is solvable haha. And what problem should I be focusing on?
    i think the INTJs should have a crack at this one. ENFPs use Te perhaps a bit differently when it comes to relationships...but what the hell do i know. i just think worrying about how to act around someone is a non-problem. you should always be yourself but perhaps that's bumper-sticker talk.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 02-03-2013, 03:07 AM
  2. [INFJ] How to be in a relationship with an INFJ
    By janea in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 84
    Last Post: 07-09-2011, 05:31 AM
  3. [ENFP] In Love/Lust?? with an ENFP
    By EnflamedHeartofSand in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-30-2010, 03:35 AM
  4. INTJ trapped in the body of an ISTJ?
    By Curtis_Brandon in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 10-11-2008, 12:04 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO