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  1. #1
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ scaring me!

    Hi,
    I had a couple of questions about this ENFJ workmate of mine.

    Firstly, we hardly know each other and he is sooo into me, so forceful and expressive with me that its scary. He is in my face! Dont get me wrong, hes a sweet guy and all. But Im thinking HOW can he like me so much when he doesnt even know me? Is that even sane??
    Secondly, I was reading that ENFJs are very value based but around what their environment accepts. So I am a different religion from him...I was thinking if things get serious in the future, is he one of those types who would change his religion? Or is he going to stick to what his friends and families' values (religion) ?? How is the value system playing in his head?

    Thanks and sorry if its been already asked. But hes really intense and im questioning it!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Turtledove's Avatar
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    Hm...I think you need to sit down and have a chat with him about how strong he is coming on in the workplace. Make boundaries and make sure those boundaries are not crossed. If he is still being unreasonable I would say avoid him if possible. If that doesn't seem to work...then someone else come here and give better advice. That's the best ideas I can give so far. I hope it helps a little bit.
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  3. #3
    Glycerine
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    It really depends on him. Many ENFJs can just be REALLY friendly. He may or may not keep his religion, only he can answer that. If he's more on the traditional side than there is a higher likelihood that he will.

  4. #4
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    He's probably personable and maybe interested. If you've given the slightest hint that he can even hold a conversation with you, which he may be able to tell at first impression or so, then he's gonna like you to some degree pretty much right off the bat.

    I wouldn't fret the whole "religion" thing. He's probably into accepting or hearing others' points of view, and he may or may not even stick with his own religion for the sake of sticking with it.

    How do you feel about him? Is he moving too quickly? Are you interested?


  5. #5
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Thankyou Turtledove, Glycerine and Bologna for replying!
    Apologies for late reply, as I didnt have proper net access.

    Yes, I may have written under stress and hence the post sounded like im fearful.
    But after thinking about it, and more interactions later, I am finding him pleasant! He is a sweet person and genuinely caring.
    After my body language of 'back off and give me space' he did back off and was respectful. That sort of won my heart a bit!

    Then later I approached him to talk in a friendly way. But he started shaking! lolll. He breaks out in cold sweat, trembles, loses his voice and gets nervous and seems to have hard time breathing when he sees me! lol Its sweet, but I mean I do want to talk to him EVENTUALLY. I wonder when will he relax around me so I can talk and explore possibilities!! yippeee my favourite thing...possibilities. : )

  6. #6
    garbage
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    Haha, awesome. Good luck with it all.. sounds fun

  7. #7
    Glycerine
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    Ahhh, the charms of an ENFP.

  8. #8
    Senior Member IceBlock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    Hi,
    I had a couple of questions about this ENFJ workmate of mine.

    Firstly, we hardly know each other and he is sooo into me, so forceful and expressive with me that its scary. He is in my face! Dont get me wrong, hes a sweet guy and all. But Im thinking HOW can he like me so much when he doesnt even know me? Is that even sane??
    Welcome to the ENFJ world. I've never met males ENFJ, but I've met plenty of ENFJ chicks and wow, I can't stand them. They all are weirdly enthusiastic with other people they barely know, striving to give you the feel they like you a lot. You feel very unique in the first moments with ENFJs, feeling like they really like you, and you are an awesome person; making hard to dislike them. But after some time, you find out they are like that with, in theory, everyone. I'm not sure if this is a ENFP trace, but discovering when I'm not as unique for someone as it looked can be is disastrous for me, I get really sad.

    So, this is mainly why I can't stand ENFJs. With my experiences until now, their Fe cause this weird forceful and expressive nature with everybody, and their Ni is used for manipulating the people that are into them. I'm sorry ENFJs, but none of my experiences with your type had proven me wrong yet ): I'm sorry if I exaggerated.

    So, Butterfly, I guess it's a normal attitude from ENFJs. I can't answer the second question though.

  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    They will blunt with you once you get to know them a bit. Lol

  10. #10
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    ExFJs can sometimes be really in your face. I know when I first met my ESFJ ex I thought he was moving too fast (um, we just started seeing each other, I don't need you to put your arm around me as we're walking down the street, and no I don't think your little jokes about marriage are funny or even sane).

    My ESFJ friend, for example, is often halted by her own children for "having very little boundaries" and "sharing too much with other people." She can be annoying sometimes, and I just have to set boundaries with her.

    It just sounds like an Fi conflict with a dom Fe.

    Also, be aware that he could just be acting that way to be super-flirty, not because he's actually obsessed with you or something. As an Fi type you might presume "oh my god this guy is practically a stalker" but he could just be trying to lay on the charm a little too thick, and not be as intense as you're projecting him to be.

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