User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 70

  1. #1
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,480

    Default Nobody Likes Me, ENFP Paranoia

    I've been spending the last couple years coming out of this very long depression that made me into a quasi-INTP.

    I've been getting a lot more social lately, and paranoia has become a prominent feature of my life, and I'm trying to keep it in check. My mind is nearly constantly trying to figure out if certain people like me, and if not, why. It also doesn't help that as I'm coming into my own, I've started to find even more of my ENFP recklessness.

    It's not really a crippling condition because I've learned that it really isn't the end of the world if somebody dislikes you. In fact, if everyone does like you, good chances are you are being a bland doormat. But, it is nearly maddning to me to not know why. Any ENFPs here relate, or anybody else?

  2. #2
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    I gave myself social anxiety right out of college because I could see irritating things other people did and didn't want to do the same thing.

    Problem is that pretty much every behavior can be irritating. So it made it hard for me to function, trying to change myself into something else while avoiding all irritating behaviors.

    I finally realized I had to change when I ran into a friend from college and could hardly talk to them because my lip was stress twitching so much!

    Now I just give up and say "I need forgiving friends" and really don't try to "fit in" with people who don't "get" me. It's a lot better than the social anxiety!
    Likes hipsterpeterpan liked this post

  3. #3
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,774

    Default

    I feel that people get annoyed with me and than begin to hate me afterwhile.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #4
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    In fact, if everyone does like you, good chances are you are being a bland doormat.
    This was my favorite thing to figure out. Because some people hate bland doormats! So I was trying to be non-irritating but was actually being irritating to people who don't like people who conform. HAHAHA

  5. #5
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    xkcd
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INT_
    Posts
    10,733

    Default

    NFPs rely on Ne to gather data and find patterns and relationships. The problem with Ne is it's non-discriminatory. Pretty much EVERYTHING gets considered, and coincidences become patterns where no actual pattern exits.

    It's up to judging function to sort through the mess. For NFPs it's Fi. I'll quote one website: "As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in." In short, it's making decisions based on an internal value system. If your internal values are screwy, or have little connection to reality, or perhaps your Fi is just weak (such as lack of use from being in a depression and trying to act like a T), then you get an NFP making themselves crazy.

    At that point, it would be good to ask an outside observer what they think, you may find that your conclusions have little basis in fact. (NTPs have similar problems, but it's more an axiom basis failure for logic.)

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,774

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    NFPs rely on Ne to gather data and find patterns and relationships. The problem with Ne is it's non-discriminatory. Pretty much EVERYTHING gets considered, and coincidences become patterns where no actual pattern exits.

    It's up to judging function to sort through the mess. For NFPs it's Fi. I'll quote one website: "As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in." In short, it's making decisions based on an internal value system. If your internal values are screwy, or have little connection to reality, or perhaps your Fi is just weak (such as lack of use from being in a depression and trying to act like a T), then you get an NFP making themselves crazy.

    At that point, it would be good to ask an outside observer what they think, you may find that your conclusions have little basis in fact. (NTPs have similar problems, but it's more an axiom basis failure for logic.)
    I do, but than I just think that they're lying to spare my feelings even if its someone who wouldn't lie
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    NFPs rely on Ne to gather data and find patterns and relationships. The problem with Ne is it's non-discriminatory. Pretty much EVERYTHING gets considered, and coincidences become patterns where no actual pattern exits.
    I think the patterns actually exist (the ones I was following) but I missed a few things.

    1. I usually prefer introverts. Other people actually like extroverts. But because I like introverts I was looking at it as if everyone does. Especially because I just realized my introvert preference recently.

    2. Being non annoying isn't really as important as I thought.

    I learned through it, it was just part of my maturing. And apparently it was part of Qlip's too which I find very interesting. I wonder how many enfps struggle with it.

  8. #8
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    xkcd
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INT_
    Posts
    10,733

    Default

    I bet INFPs struggle just as much, probably even more due to introversion.

  9. #9
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,480

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    NFPs rely on Ne to gather data and find patterns and relationships. The problem with Ne is it's non-discriminatory. Pretty much EVERYTHING gets considered, and coincidences become patterns where no actual pattern exits.

    It's up to judging function to sort through the mess. For NFPs it's Fi. I'll quote one website: "As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in." In short, it's making decisions based on an internal value system. If your internal values are screwy, or have little connection to reality, or perhaps your Fi is just weak (such as lack of use from being in a depression and trying to act like a T), then you get an NFP making themselves crazy.

    At that point, it would be good to ask an outside observer what they think, you may find that your conclusions have little basis in fact. (NTPs have similar problems, but it's more an axiom basis failure for logic.)
    Patterns ALWAYS exist! Worst possible cases are also not the only danger to the ENFP, so is the possibility of the best possible case.. those can be worse. Yep, my Fi is a little thing. I'm developing it, though. Not sure if my values are screwy, I'm not evey sure how to determine that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I think the patterns actually exist (the ones I was following) but I missed a few things.

    1. I usually prefer introverts. Other people actually like extroverts. But because I like introverts I was looking at it as if everyone does. Especially because I just realized my introvert preference recently.

    2. Being non annoying isn't really as important as I thought.

    I learned through it, it was just part of my maturing. And apparently it was part of Qlip's too which I find very interesting. I wonder how many enfps struggle with it.
    Haha.. what does number 2 mean exactly? Yeah, I do see where you're coming from. I have let my freak flag fly a lot more lately, and I'm quickly finding the fall out isn't nearly as bad as I expected, and I feel a lot better about myself. But also, now, people have opinions about me. That's unusual and something that I'm not used to dealing with.

  10. #10
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    Number 2: Being annoying isn't really as important as I thought.

    I was at a girl's night out with a group of women and there was this one chick. She was blabbling (blabbing and babbling) about the most random stuff. blah blah blah kind of extrovert. I thought, wow, this woman is so annoying.

    She ended up making a bunch of close friends in that group. I guess being annoying isn't all bad.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] INFJ: Does my ENFP like me?
    By ThePoetess in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-18-2016, 07:40 PM
  2. [ENFP] Do I seem like an ENFP? (Video)
    By Stansmith in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 09-19-2013, 07:28 PM
  3. [ENFP] Does this ENFP like me, or am I just imagining things?
    By True Blue in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-11-2012, 09:29 PM
  4. [ENFP] Noboby Can Piss Me Off Quite Like An ENFP
    By ThatGirl in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 213
    Last Post: 01-11-2011, 12:54 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO