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  1. #21
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    i actually get quite anxious when i have to go meet a
    large group of people --stuff like attending weddings,
    parties, going to big reunions, social mixers.

    it has to do with how my mood really can influence
    the tension/dynamics of the larger group. if i'm having
    fun and being pleasant then it's all good. but if feel
    annoyed or any other emotion then the people around
    me can feel an awkward tension.

    usually because i'm perceived as very snobby mcsnob
    and very dismissive. i mean i only like the people that
    i like. i don't find it necessary to like everybody.

    everytime i go out with a big group of people, my close
    friends will ALWAYS tell me to behave and to try not to
    make anybody cry. sometimes i just can't help it. :>
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  2. #22


    I always thought ENFPs were the most likable bunch even when they annoyed you. Who can stay mad at an ENFP?
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  3. #23
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    @Starry Yeah, straight on there. Except Im just starting to let loose. I need to chamber up a few more 'Fuck it's. It's exhausting. If you mean well, then everything should be gold, right(?) (nobody answer that) Actually, I just learned that there is a punctuation for the rhetorical question mark, my browser doesn't display it properly, and probably neither does yours.
    Yah I hear yah.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    everytime i go out with a big group of people, my close
    friends will ALWAYS tell me to behave and to try not to
    make anybody cry.
    lmao. I want to be an ENFP e8...

    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    I always thought ENFPs were the most likable bunch even when they annoyed you. Who can stay mad at an ENFP?
    I think this is true to a certain extent... but I've noticed that we are also awfully easy to 'blame' when things 'go wrong'. I haven't totally developed 'my theory' here so I really shouldn't be trying to share my impressions...but I have noticed something along these lines (and really I think this applies primarily to the ENFP e7 as opposed to other e-types). When all is well...bring-on the ENFPs. When something goes wrong...well is easiest to pin the 'story/blame' on the 'goofy one' in the room. Like I said...I may be speaking too soon here...but I do think there is some truth to what I'm saying.

  4. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    2 so/sx


    As Mc Gruffin (or whavr) said - ur Fi seems damaged.

    U r either not ENFP (check ENTP without Ti and overused Fe). Esp if u mirror and align with ppl easily as second nature, consider this possibility.

    And if u r ENFP with this little F and so much T - LOL

    Good luck.

  5. #25
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    5w4 sx/sp


    I think paranoia is the curse of Fi. I've had issues, particularly when I'm associating with people not quite on the same wave length. I don't think it's broken Fi, or weird values. You just feel more vulnerable at the moment. It's just Fi's habit to turn in on one's self.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.


  6. #26
    Member azulatheavatar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012


    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I've been spending the last couple years coming out of this very long depression that made me into a quasi-INTP.

    I've been getting a lot more social lately, and paranoia has become a prominent feature of my life, and I'm trying to keep it in check. My mind is nearly constantly trying to figure out if certain people like me, and if not, why. It also doesn't help that as I'm coming into my own, I've started to find even more of my ENFP recklessness.

    It's not really a crippling condition because I've learned that it really isn't the end of the world if somebody dislikes you. In fact, if everyone does like you, good chances are you are being a bland doormat. But, it is nearly maddning to me to not know why. Any ENFPs here relate, or anybody else?
    "like" as in being friends or romantic?

  7. #27


    I want to know why people don't like me, sure, either to repair our relationship or to improve my future interactions with other people in the future. If there's something negative in the way that I come across to most people, perhaps there's something to be fixed--but perhaps not.

    Over time, I've prioritized the effort I've put into figuring that out--continual comments by people who are close to me take priority over one-off comments by single random strangers, for example.

    Large groups are easy for me (so long as everyone hasn't devolved into cliques--that's a bit more difficult). You introduce yourself to people (because someone has to introduce themselves), keep things shallow at first, talk about the things you know you have in common, hone in on the people who you figure out that you have more things in common with, and wham, you've got yourself some more people that you know at a pretty good level.

    They haven't always been easy for me, though. I'd suffered from 'analysis paralysis' in social situations for a large portion of my life, fearing whether or not people would like me. Having untreated depression for more than a decade sure didn't help matters!

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Number 2: Being annoying isn't really as important as I thought.

    I was at a girl's night out with a group of women and there was this one chick. She was blabbling (blabbing and babbling) about the most random stuff. blah blah blah kind of extrovert. I thought, wow, this woman is so annoying.

    She ended up making a bunch of close friends in that group. I guess being annoying isn't all bad.
    Were her new close friends people that you would have been interested in getting to know yourself?

    I'm really just curious. Because, in my experiences, the people who grate me (because they're annoying, etc.) may get along with certain other people, but they don't tend to attract people that I'd care to get to know. Still, I end up awestruck and bewildered when people with those qualities end up being liked.

    I guess it takes all kinds...

  8. #28
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    4w5 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by azulatheavatar View Post
    "like" as in being friends or romantic?
    Just friends, I guess.. not even that... Just generally positive regard. Actually, I don't even care about positivity. I just want to know what people think. I don't mind being hated if it's for the right reasons.

  9. #29
    Anew Leaf


    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I bet INFPs struggle just as much, probably even more due to introversion.
    I have experienced this quite a bit. I had to adjust and learn how to not just sink into an introversion loop.

    If I am having a really off week I may ask a friend for an outsider perspective. If I am having a REALLY off week I ask an enemy.

  10. #30
    Member DisneyFanGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    7w6 sx


    I always assume people don't like me. And then when they do, I go nuts trying to figure out why. That's a problem I'm working on.

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