But I usually do the thing you mentioned (underlined) myself when I hear such a statement. And if I don’t pick up on any urgency, then I won’t read much into it either. I *might* initially hear it more, due to the fact that I similarly express those kind of directives vaguely myself- but still, I assign weight to it according to other cues. So I agree with Bologna- if it wasn’t made clear, then I wouldn't feel bad about it. I personally might say it lightly myself in getting to know someone (see next chunk of response below)- then once saying it lightly doesn’t work, I’d probably say it with a little more urgency afterwards (e.g. “This is something else we need to get done, how do you want to work this into our workload?”). But I wouldn’t start giving someone the stink eye until I’ve made several attempts at pointing it out (maybe increasing emphases on “we need to get it done, how do you want to incorporate this into our workload”…..which feels icky to write, but- for lack of knowing how to do it better- that’s honestly what I’d do) and I start getting the impression the person is deliberately (albeit perhaps unconsciously) shirking because they know I’ll get it done (so they don’t give it the due weight of a ‘shared’ responsibility). Initially though, I’ll tend to see it as a communication fail on my own part and soak up the extra work while I’ll work on figuring out how to more effectively convey ‘we need to get this done’.
I do see how there *is* a bit of implied Fe directive mixed in:
What I would do (and I know it’s been said before- FPs don’t like specific advice/examples on how to handle problems with people, they want to understand the problem….but I don’t know how else to frame this?) is directly tell the person you’re not trying to shirk responsibility (which I’m *guessing* is why you got the ‘alligator eyes’) but he needs to make the urgency in completing a task clear if he expects you to help with it, because the ‘hinting’ doesn’t fly with you. I worked alongside an ESFP nurse who was constantly yelling “you never answer my questions!” at me- and if she hadn’t done that, I’d never have realized that I really was giving rather cryptic answers that *seemed* like the more respectful answer to me…..but really it was actually only respectful for people who thought like me enough to understand that I was trying to leave them options, and just confusing for everyone else. She’d ask something wanting a clear “yes” or “no”, and I’d always give her the reasons for deciding “yes” or “no” on her own- it drove her effing crazy. My point here is that he might be trying to be respectful in that vagueness (as mentioned, it leaves ‘respectful’ elbow room for Ti’ers) , and needs to be told that it’s lost on you? And/or, whenever he utters statements like “we’ll need to work on this at some point”, it might be a good idea of pointing out how *you* hear it and asking if that’s how he *means* it (which would ultimately teach him to say things in a way you’d hear them). <- This actually worked pretty well for me with my coworker nurse, repeatedly having it pointed out to me while I was doing it.