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Thread: NF "telepathy"

  1. #1
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Default NF "telepathy"

    Not real telepathy.... But no doubt, fellow NFs, you have experienced that NF-on-NF special connection. You get to know each other very quickly, but via vibes, and this creates a quick forming intimacy.

    Basically, you know all this stuff about them that they have not told you, but not in factual form. You just *know* the essence of who they are, as if their life, their traits, just who they ARE, have been summed up in a piece of art that hits you viscerally & gives you an understanding of something complex in a simple, well, intuitive way. And when you realize someone has experienced the same thing about you in return, then it can be the most refreshing thing ever, and your guard goes down.

    It's like, you know that they know that you know stuff they didn't actually tell you, and they know that you know that they know stuff you didn't actually tell them (nor stuff that is observable in a concrete way). :P

    So what's the problem?

    There can be such a focus on sharing feelings, emotions, hopes, dreams, visions for the future, exploring who you want to become, etc, & knowing via "vibes" that very little factual info is exchanged. You have this intimacy founded on nothing concrete. This is a problem as those little factual details, which can seem so insignificant & dull to an NF, start to emerge. The big picture is tarnished a bit when these, while making sense in relation to it, make it a tad less, well, ideal. It's not that you didn't understand their essence correctly, it's that you underestimated the importance of those factual details, glossing them over in favor of the potential the person represents.

    This doesn't happen so much with SFs because of the tendency to prefer exchanging concrete info. Even thinking types often have a penchant for facts.

    What is your experience with this?
    Or have you experienced this?
    The obvious solution is to push for more factual exchanges, so how do you do this & not fall into that magical telepathic-like mode?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Hmm yes, the "click" ... I'll be back to post, just posting now as a reminder to myself.
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
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    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
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    Member DisneyFanGirl's Avatar
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    Yes, I definitely get this with other NFs and often with NTs as well (that's probably why all my friends are intuitive). Even though we don't care about facts as much, I feel like intuitives, especially NFs, get to know each other a lot deeper than most do and I wouldn't trade that for anything. We know each others' souls. While others make friends based on common interests, we make friends based on how we feel about them and the closeness and intimacy with them. That's why I'm not that close to my all sensor family...

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    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    What is your experience with this?
    Or have you experienced this?
    The obvious solution is to push for more factual exchanges, so how do you do this & not fall into that magical telepathic-like mode?
    Yes, I experiece this a lot, especially with ENFJ's ("F-telepathy") and sometimes with NT's too ("N-telepathy"). I actually just enjoy it when it happens but don't feel it's a problem because it happens so rarely anyways.

    What I mean here, that when I meet another NF, especially ENFJ's it happens very often, but on the other hand, I don't meet NF's too often in my life. With NT's it's a different story, they need to be interested to "know me" and if they aren't then the connection is not established, of course. I think NF's are more open to people (especially ENF's) than (I)NT's.

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    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    On the rare occasion that you get to have that tacit communication and understanding, do real facts matter so much when you deal with "factoids" on the norm and "telepathy" only on rare occasions? Enjoy it for what it is, and don't make it be something that it isn't.
    I N V I C T U S

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    Sometimes the factual facts aren't really that important and can actually be distracting. I think it's fine to have another way of experiencing relationships. Sure when you live together you'll start knowing some facts like "leaves dirty socks on the floor" but for me personally it's the more holistic picture of a person that matters more. Singular actions don't bother me so much but the overall "flavor" is important. Obviously it's good to remember then to also focus on the actual actions simultaneously and keep an eye on wether people step over our boundaries because those really determine wether to be with someone or not, even if they were really a great person. ;D In my NF marriage we haven't really consciously shared much particulars and factual info as to what our lives have been up to the point. Obviously after 5 years you already know alot just by listening to stories when they come up but to be honest it hasn't been a problem because it's not what I care about so much and it's a bit of a relief to have a similar appreciation, where someone doesn't want and need me to know every fact about them. We live forwards not backwards anyway. ;D

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    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    The type of telepathy I get tends to be shared between NP's, not just NF's. In terms of connection, I'll say NFP's ~ NTP's > NFJ's > NTJ's.
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    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Always thought it was a fi > nf thing myself
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  9. #9
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    What is your experience with this?
    Or have you experienced this?
    To a degree. I operate in this way a great deal (ie. getting an intuitive feel for a person's nature/issues) but I'm very rarely on the receiving end. I do love it when people say something off hand (eg. a joke about me, a compliment, a passing observation) and I think "wow, that actually depicts me accurately" or "huh, they kinda get me". I really sit up and take notice when that happens because most people don't have a clue about me - either that, or they talk about irrelevant superficial details that I don't feel define me AT ALL. It's mostly NFs that do it to me but I do get it from a couple of other friends of different types (a ISFJ, a ENTP, and ISFP I know spring to mind), but usually after they have known me longer.

    The obvious solution is to push for more factual exchanges, so how do you do this & not fall into that magical telepathic-like mode?
    Factual exchanges? Ughhh, must we?

    Like I said, those details mean a whole lot less to me. I don't dismiss them entirely and I try to stay open to other interpretations. I might have a intiutive grasp of someone but I still go through the motions pretending I don't; I try to remain willing for my instincts to be proven wrong.

    Could you give a more specific example of when you think factual exchanges were overlooked and it caused problems? I'm struggling to think of too many times when such things interferred with my relationships with others.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  10. #10
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    It's funny how you all enjoy this. Sounds uncomfortable. I get annoyed if someone tries to say they know me (more annoyed if it's accompanied with analysis.. probably N and T, rather than F). At the same time, it might be cool to be "found out" in the right away. I just haven't experienced it.

    I think SPs might create some "bond" if they enjoy something in the same way. It's not exactly "trading facts", but more about experiences or combined action. But it can easily go away.

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