There is a certain female, possibly unhealthy, INFJ who I am very close to, but is also the only person I know capable of bringing me to tears and sometimes outright despair. I was wondering if the way she argues is common for unhealthy INFJs or is more specific.
She had a tough life. Which is nothing bad in itself, but her rampant victim complex makes her think it allows her to ignore basic rules of fair conduct and common decency, and whenever she is criticized, for that reason or any other, she sees it as a personal attack. Whenever somebody starts to argue with her, she always tries to "read" that person, coming up with all kind of insane ideas about that person’s motivations, which throws her into a fit of rage. No matter how much people try to explain themselves or ask what her to explain what the hell even is her problem (which she can never answer), she ignores them and continues on her course. Any attempts at verbal defense are counterproductive, as she only gets angrier and angrier and throws more and more baseless insults. It is impossible to win such an argument, or even retreat, as she continues to provoke. The worst thing is that, afterwards, it’s almost impossible to reason with her even when she is calm, because she always sees herself as the sole victim and has illusions of moral purity even though she is very self-absorbed, cruel, merciless and often quite amoral and sociopathic.