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  1. #31
    Member Grizzly On The Loose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Can she seem very very internal and in her own world when she's not lashing out and upset like this? Because people IRL tend to think that of me, that I am the sweetest person, I mind my own business, need space, and am not afraid to say I need my space...but when they see me passionate or angry they're like "OMFG." It's almost like a 180 when my Te comes out, I'll cut you.
    Quite.
    ENTJ 5w6 so/sp SLE

  2. #32
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grizzly On The Loose View Post
    it’s almost impossible to reason with her even when she is calm, because she always sees herself as the sole victim and has illusions of moral purity even though she is very self-absorbed, cruel, merciless and often quite amoral and sociopathic.
    Your post tells me more about you, than her. You made the conscious decision to be/stay with a person who is allegedly self-absorbed, cruel, merciless and often quite amoral and sociopathic.


    Life is too short to deal with that nonsense, but you better go off and ask yourself how you ended up with a woman like that to begin with. And if you choose to stay with someone like that, hell, you deserve what you get. The decision is yours. Make one.

  3. #33
    Member Grizzly On The Loose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Your post tells me more about you, than her. You made the conscious decision to be/stay with a person who is allegedly self-absorbed, cruel, merciless and often quite amoral and sociopathic.


    Life is too short to deal with that nonsense, but you better go off and ask yourself how you ended up with a woman like that to begin with. And if you choose to stay with someone like that, hell, you deserve what you get. The decision is yours. Make one.
    Do you know that feeling when, despite all their flaws and problems, you still are attached to and deeply love a person because of past, happier experiences and the rare ones that still happen? When, despite your reason telling you otherwise, you believe that, deep inside, they are a good, if troubled and misguided, person that still has a chance to be redeemed? When you just have trouble letting go? When you are afraid of pulling the wrong move and getting stabbed in your sleep? That's the feeling.
    ENTJ 5w6 so/sp SLE

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grizzly On The Loose View Post
    Do you know that feeling when, despite all their flaws and problems, you still are attached to and deeply love a person because of past, happier experiences and the rare ones that still happen? When, despite your reason telling you otherwise, you believe that, deep inside, they are a good, if troubled and misguided, person that still has a chance to be redeemed? When you just have trouble letting go? When you are afraid of pulling the wrong move and getting stabbed in your sleep? That's the feeling.
    Yes, I felt that way about my ESFJ ex.

    I think it's called Borderline Personality Disorder.

    Does she threaten to hurt herself or say she wants to die or can't live without you if you threaten to leave?

  5. #35
    Member Grizzly On The Loose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Yes, I felt that way about my ESFJ ex.

    I think it's called Borderline Personality Disorder.

    Does she threaten to hurt herself or say she wants to die or can't live without you if you threaten to leave?
    Not really. The part about getting stabbed was a joke, as indicated by the strikethrough.
    ENTJ 5w6 so/sp SLE

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grizzly On The Loose View Post
    Not really. The part about getting stabbed was a joke, as indicated by the strikethrough.
    Okay then she doesn't have BPD and isn't really "sociopathic"...she just gets hysterically upset and acts selfish, you're exaggerating.

    Which sounds like she just is an unhealthy Fi type, or maybe has a mood disorder.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    In fact, I'll take out this particular snippet of the Introverted Feeling type, since the description is so long, and focuses initially on the fact that we can seem childish or cold or indifferent...and here is what happens when Fi is unhealthy, under stress, etc.:
    i'll take that, and raise you this:
    'But I can't think what I don't feel', such a type said to me once in indignant tones. As far as feeling permits, she can think very well, but every conclusion, however logical, that might lead to a disturbance of feeling is rejected from the outset. It is simply not thought. And thus everything that corresponds with objective valuations is good: these things are loved or treasured; the rest seems merely to exist in a world apart.
    which fully explains the balded behavior:
    Quote Originally Posted by Grizzly On The Loose View Post
    There is a certain female, possibly unhealthy, INFJ who I am very close to, but is also the only person I know capable of bringing me to tears and sometimes outright despair. I was wondering if the way she argues is common for unhealthy INFJs or is more specific.

    She had a tough life. Which is nothing bad in itself, but her rampant victim complex makes her think it allows her to ignore basic rules of fair conduct and common decency, and whenever she is criticized, for that reason or any other, she sees it as a personal attack. Whenever somebody starts to argue with her, she always tries to "read" that person, coming up with all kind of insane ideas about that person’s motivations, which throws her into a fit of rage. No matter how much people try to explain themselves or ask what her to explain what the hell even is her problem (which she can never answer), she ignores them and continues on her course. Any attempts at verbal defense are counterproductive, as she only gets angrier and angrier and throws more and more baseless insults. It is impossible to win such an argument, or even retreat, as she continues to provoke. The worst thing is that, afterwards, it’s almost impossible to reason with her even when she is calm, because she always sees herself as the sole victim and has illusions of moral purity even though she is very self-absorbed, cruel, merciless and often quite amoral and sociopathic.
    in other words, it seems that she is rejecting thoughts - from herself and others - that she is uncomfortable with. she might very well consider her actions cruel if they where done by others, and probably would, but that consideration doesn't easily come up when the thought is hurtful to her own sense of decency.

    this:
    Quote Originally Posted by Grizzly On The Loose View Post
    Maybe I ought to have been a bit clearer there - she is normally decent and polite, if sometimes with an obvious facade of fakeness or passive-aggressiveness, but will tend to break some rules of common decency if she feels that she is justifed, then get cross when people call her out on it (amusingly, she is very judgmental towards others' behavior and demands much warmth in personal relationships).

    Here's an example of one such situation - she tends to make very loud, resonant promises which she later casually ignores for selfish reasons. If you get (rightfully) pissed, you are evil, selfish and cruel.
    alongside with the fact that her 'crazy unchecked explanations' are projected to the behaviors of others and is judging what she perceives to be a social misconduct towards her (other people being verbally mean), actually fits very well with how Fe/Ti - she is making an exception for herself because the judgement is negative and she is into much pain to face it, she isn't letting the negative judgement into her mind, but her judgement remains Fe.

    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    my sister consistently tests INFJ and I could easily fit her into the description in the OP.
    same with my exwife.

  8. #38
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    "I can't think what I don't feel" is an ExFJ. They reject inferior Ti.

    INFJs use more Ti.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    "I can't think what I don't feel" is an ExFJ. They reject inferior Ti.

    INFJs use more Ti.
    ...selectively. they still choose to use Fe before using Ti, and its often Fe that will bring up the Ti use in terms of how they process their motivation, for better or worst. thinking about things they don't want to think about seems to become more common with maturity and age.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grizzly On The Loose View Post
    The part about getting stabbed was a joke, as indicated by the strikethrough.
    Some people use the strikethrough on forums to cover up what they really think. Men don't usually joke about knives if the situation is actually serious. Ask her to join the forum, then we can hear her side.


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