User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 13

  1. #1
    Senior Member persianeyes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    107

    Default INFP bad relationships

    These are questions for INFP's since we're known to be kind of "stuck" in bad relationships, which are hard to get out of for most of us..
    Have any of you ever had this experience?
    Do you look back at it?
    What would you change if you could?
    How have you learned from the situation?

    If ur not an INFP then maybe u know one who has gone through something like this..
    The truth is on the side of the oppressed. -Malcolm X

  2. #2
    Senior Member Jasz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    276

    Default

    at times i wish an infp had not broken off the relationship. i didn't think it was that bad. she wanted more freedom ...
    .
    INTP/5w4 sx

  3. #3
    Senior Member persianeyes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    107

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jasz View Post
    at times i wish an infp had not broken off the relationship. i didn't think it was that bad. she wanted more freedom ...
    and were u depriving her of her freedom?
    The truth is on the side of the oppressed. -Malcolm X

  4. #4
    Large Member Ender's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    2w%
    Posts
    1,090

    Default

    Been in a "few" bad relationships, tho I've never really been stuck in one since for the most part when they went bad they ended pretty quickly. Lack of trust on her part, or her cheating on me usually results in me cutting ties pretty damn quick.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Fe/Fi 36.9/37.7
    Ne/Ni 34.9/25.8
    Se/Si 25.7/19.5
    Te/Ti 28.4/31.9
    Type: 2w% sx/sp/so

    I don't want it, I just need it, to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

    Never take life to seriously.. No one gets out alive in the end anyway.

  5. #5
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    I've learned that the second I think "they'll learn" is the second I should bail. Oh, and the second I see her mack'n some other guy is the second I should bail. Oh, and the second you hear "you're too good for me", that's the second you should bail. White knights in this day and age are hung, drawn, quartered, burned, then pissed on. Thankfully there are girls out there that don't evoke the white knight and they're the ones to go after. That's what I've learned.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    homo-loving sonovagun anii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    infp
    Enneagram
    9
    Socionics
    fuck
    Posts
    900

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by persianeyes View Post
    These are questions for INFP's since we're known to be kind of "stuck" in bad relationships, which are hard to get out of for most of us..
    Have any of you ever had this experience?
    Do you look back at it?
    What would you change if you could?
    How have you learned from the situation?

    If ur not an INFP then maybe u know one who has gone through something like this..
    I coulda sworn I made a post in this thread. *ahem*

    Yes I have had this experience. That's why I asked my questions:

    - I want to know how other types got out of bad relationships, because I don't know how the hell to do that. I personally think we should expand beyond INFPs because we may or may not know what the hell we are doing.
    - I can't look back at it because it hasn't happened yet. Hence the request for advice from other types.
    - I wouldn't be in one if I could change something.
    - I haven't learned a damned thing. So, please give other types a chance to instruct us INFPs.
    There's reason to be afraid, and reason to open your heart. ~ Seal

    Refreshment for your ears: www.kexp.org

  7. #7
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by persianeyes View Post
    These are questions for INFP's since we're known to be kind of "stuck" in bad relationships, which are hard to get out of for most of us..

    Have any of you ever had this experience?
    Yes
    Do you look back at it?
    Yes
    What would you change if you could?
    Would have learned earlier about animus projection and also of seeing things that aren't really there.

    How have you learned from the situation?
    I let Te have a larger voice in the beginning of the dating process, I sat down and made a hardnosed checklist of things I would not accept in man and I told myself no matter what I have to stick to this and I also made a determination to find someone more like me than different from me. Overall it has been far better that way.

    I consider myself to be a in good relationship that is undergoing a lot of stress (his job, my chronic illness). There's a difference. Life is not always perfect, esepcially in long term marriage.

    Part of a "bad" relationship for an INFP can be due to the lack of asserting their needs until they've become intolerable. Putting too rosy a glow on things that are killing one inside. Until INFP pushes their own agenda in a healthy way (not Te blow ups out of nowhere!), how can they be sure the relationship is really bad at the core or not? Got to be able to say "hey I need this" and negotiate a way to get it that takes both people's natures and needs into account.

    EDIT: the worst time I had getting out of a relationship was with a person I knew thought he loved me and loved me as much as he was capable of love, but there was no depth and this person was both sexist and selfish, not open to education or listening or compromise (Yes Dana, that's the one ). He didn't like cats either!

    It was very hard to break up, I finally just had to stop answering the phone, let the machine get the calls for a set period of time. The longer I got away from them, the easier it became to not think about them or feel the guilt. They tried hard to recontact me, used guilt, emo blackmail, gifts, mild stalking etc. but I made myself stick to my guns and eventually I lost all softness towards them and felt strong relief.

  8. #8
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    I tend to get involved with selfish assholes, and I stick around way too long. Intellectually, I have learned from it, but old habits die hard, eh?

  9. #9
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    I tend to get involved with selfish assholes, and I stick around way too long. Intellectually, I have learned from it, but old habits die hard, eh?
    Five an a half years and I'm still not sure if they're dead...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    970

    Default

    Leave the relationship, try to leave it on good terms though, if possible. Once it's over, be sure to evaluate it to be able to not make the same mistakes again wither it be your own mistakes or the flaws of your partner.

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] infp / entp relationship
    By entropie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 09-27-2012, 09:14 AM
  2. Thoughts on INFP-ISFP Relationships?
    By ElusiveRain in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-17-2009, 11:45 PM
  3. [INFP] INFPs in relationships
    By Juggling69Tigers in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 03-18-2009, 05:02 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO