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  1. #31
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Overly dramatic, not everything requires a theatre worthy death scene nor some Jonny Depp mimic... as simple here you go would be such a nice change to the old and tired routine of being "creative" with every chance given.

    Whiney little *#@$!!. For god's sake please shush about how it's so unfair that someone made a reasonable request that you don't want to do. Shut your mouth about how life in unfair cause your not rich.. oh and STFU about people not allowing you to bend the rules at will cause you want to! Once is registering a complaint, twice is emphasis, six times should legally free me to shoot you dead.

    Praise will be given when I feel like it and not when you want a lift! Doing something well and being told you did it well should be enough. It shouldn't be necessary to retell the whole thing to several people nor hint about how well you did, usually badly, to the person who said "well done" in the first place!! It's irritating, needy and very me, me, me.

    Whilst I think of 'me, me, me' quit whinging about how you let people do this, allow them to do that and so on and so forth... firstly you haven't the power to stop them anyhow and secondly this is not a bargaining tool for later unless arranged as such. Putting together a list of "transgressions" will not only NOT persuade me to shift but will in fact probably tee me off enough to not shift on principle.

    That reminds me also, not realising you are being a manipulative swine does nothing to reduce or defend that you are infact being manipulative. And no I don't care that you don't like the word, it's accurate.

    Immature INFPs are even worse. Where the hell they get the impression that being in your face, engaging in one-up-manship and bragging is actually a form of negotiating with the more aggressive people in life and worse that it's actually progress from their previous quite nature!!

    The whole nature of INFP being based on rights and deserving things is irritating at best and down right flippin annoying the rest of the time. Reality wins over "I want" EVERY time. Get used to it and quite whining.

    Oh and should you find yourself not particularly inspired to do one thing more than another DO NOT PHONE ME. I'm not some bank of inspiration where you pay in by boring me with your latest grandiose scheme which has no actual conceptual value and only serves as an exit point for your tiny mind and then expect me to pay out with well thought out suggestions and concepts only to see you take them and "personalise" them, usually removing the enitre point and validity of the idea simulataneously.

    {Btw, you did ask. And this is based on two INFPs in particular. Neither one is capable of looking after themselves for long it seems. Emotional support... from me... long term.... it's gotta be an F to come up with such hopes and dreams!}
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  2. #32
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Grow some fucking balls and tell your mom NO occasionally. And stick to it.

    You do not need an 'excuse' to just not want to rush home in the middle of an evening out (meaning everyone who relies on you for a ride has to leave too) because your mom calls on your cellphone and says she's "lonely".

    And your dog does NOT need to be hand fed with premium roast fillet of lamb that you spend your entire day off preparing for his "sensitive ickle tummy". And when it whines at night, rather than have it in your bedroom jumping on you all night so you don't sleep and then cancel your plans the next day because of tiredness, put the little bastard in the kitchen and let it whine and get used to it. It'll stop whining by the third night!!

    IOW, get your priorities straight and quit making your friends' lives hell (and your own!!) because you can't say no to your basket case manipulative mom or stand a spoilt widdle doggie whining. And feeling righteous and saintly because you 'put up' with all of this.

    -----

    I have actually said these things to the INFP in question, and she agrees with all of it. Then her mom calls and it's "yes ma'am, no ma'am, three bags full ma'am". :steam:

    So, my complaint about INFP's in general that this rather extreme case illustrates is that they often get their priorities completely screwed up because they allow themselves to be controlled by somebody who can easily turn on the water works. Friends of the INFP can find themselves having to revolve their own lives around the crazy 'duties' that the INFP believes themselves to have, or face just excluding the INFP from their lives. They can be blind to the fact that they upset and annoy a lot of other people (the ones who don't throw tantrums or cry about it) in order to prevent one person from throwing a tantrum and crying.

    And I suspect that the spoilt dog (or symbol of unreasonable commitment) is perhaps some kind of deliberate (subconsciously) construction of a barrier between them and other people. Because they're afraid to socialize, they'll be content to have this pain in the ass 'commitment' to use as an excuse to get out of it. And then fail to make the connection between this and the irony of their feeling like the reason they have so few friends is because they're "just not good enough". They can ignore the line of disappointed, hurt and rejected feeling people who are reaching out to them in favour of staying in because their dog/mom/whatever 'needs' them, whilst contemplating their isolation in a spuriously constructed feeling of long-suffering mingled with self-remonstration and self-pity.

    Some INFP's would benefit greatly from mulling over every meaning of the phrase "sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind".
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  3. #33
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    I have yet another text message asking me if I'm available to "entertain" one particular INFP. Third frickin day in a row!!!

    I think he did this like 5-6 days in a row last time.. he got really fed up with being put off but not enough, it seems, to stop frickin asking! The thing was that each time he asked I DID have other arrangements. Just because I don't report on my every movement and regale him with tales of my week doesn't mean that nothing goes on! I certainly have better things to do than to volunteer to sit and listen to more random prattling from someone with so many unpopular interests!! How can one guy like trading cars, table top battles, nerdy TV AND try and invent his own little world for D&D and actually think that a barrage of this putrid stuff is of interest after the tenth day?
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #34
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    I have yet another text message asking me if I'm available to "entertain" one particular INFP. Third frickin day in a row!!!
    Dude, at least yours contacts you rather than leaving it to you all the damn time. Don't knock it!!!

    Actually Xander i recognize the strained tones of total fed-upness in your words... lol I've felt that way in the past about a certain INTP friend of mine. He started to annoy me so much that it was all I could see, I got sorta trapped in the irritation so even when he wasn't actually being that bad, I still felt like I wanted to hack him to pieces just for saying hi, and everything was '...and another thing!' In fact you might even be pissing off your other friends by now with complaining about this guy, without realizing it. My prescription is to just give him a total miss for say, three weeks or so, and let things come back into perspective. Just go incommunicado so you can take a step back and start to see his good points again. He must have some, otherwise why would you even be friends?

    With my INFP it's sorta the opposite. I have to go so outta my way to get just in touch for a start, then get a time to meet her through all the mom/dog related 'responsibilities' and then battle to keep the arrangement rather than having cancelled or postponed because of mom/dog stuff. So this makes me so pissed off with her avoidance and passivity that it's all I can see until I spend some time with her and remember that she really is awesome in many other ways, and that she does really like me, it gives me a fresh influx of patience to carry on working on the 'issues'.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  5. #35
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Subs,

    Introvert... he no phone... I no mind...

    I spend a lot of time just answering texts from these two INFPs. One's bored or on a mindless subject and the other just whines about how he wants to play a psyker in Dark Heresy and they get no money blah blah get no agility blah blah blub blub... I'm thinking "So play something else or get on with it. That is reality as it is at the moment. Where's this whining get you except a smack in the teeth?".

    I wouldn't mind so much but since when am I the font of not only all solutions but also the centre of their entertainment system? Why the hell can't they do something themselves and let other's join in if they wish or request their company if they wish... why do they have to nag? If there's one thing which puts me off having either round the house is "can I hold off from killing them whilst they're here". These two top the ISTJ which they have the cheek to moan about. Least he's a moth so I only have to turn the TV on when I'm feeling pressured for entertainment value. These two act like some kind of art critics and either turn away from it voicing distain for such vulgarities or begin giving me the benefit of their insight..

    (I think this is just a case of really good timing for a topic... it did say hate and not mildly disapprove of...I'm being generous....)

    Edit :-
    Oh and 3 weeks off is just not happening. I get one each Wednesday for Dark Heresy and both each Friday for D&D!!
    Last edited by Xander; 09-08-2008 at 09:23 AM. Reason: further bitching to do..
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  6. #36
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Yeah, it can be an NT weakness though to take words at face value because when we use them we usually mean what we say. An INFP though who says they want you for a certain purpose probably means they just want affirmation, they feel insecure and like you don't like them - he's probably picked up on your vibes of irritation and doesn't get why you're annoyed - so he bombards you with opportunities for you to 'show' you like him by doing stuff with him. The more you tell him to find his own entertainment the more he feels you're confirming that you don't like him, so the more he'll keep begging for affirmation. It's not so much the stuff he says he wants you to do that matters to him, but just that you do it with him.

    This is another annoying thing about INFP's - rather than just spit it out and say what you want, you leave us to extrapolate and guess from your obscure and often contradictory hints!! Then go all bitter and blame us when we don't manage to interpret your heiroglyphs correctly!!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #37
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Yeah, it can be an NT weakness though to take words at face value because when we use them we usually mean what we say. An INFP though who says they want you for a certain purpose probably means they just want affirmation, they feel insecure and like you don't like them - he's probably picked up on your vibes of irritation and doesn't get why you're annoyed - so he bombards you with opportunities for you to 'show' you like him by doing stuff with him. The more you tell him to find his own entertainment the more he feels you're confirming that you don't like him, so the more he'll keep begging for affirmation. It's not so much the stuff he says he wants you to do that matters to him, but just that you do it with him.

    This is another annoying thing about INFP's - rather than just spit it out and say what you want, you leave us to extrapolate and guess from your obscure and often contradictory hints!! Then go all bitter and blame us when we don't manage to interpret your heiroglyphs correctly!!
    wait what? you mean most people don't what "circle circle mailbox bird open mailbox letter tree herd!!!" means??

    and to be serious for a moment, yeah I tend to want to do stuff with people I care about. I don't care what, which causes problems.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  8. #38
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    This is another annoying thing about INFP's - rather than just spit it out and say what you want, you leave us to extrapolate and guess from your obscure and often contradictory hints!! Then go all bitter and blame us when we don't manage to interpret your heiroglyphs correctly!!
    Yup. For a species which suffers from a shakey belief of self worth they don't half think that we're actually going to bother chasing them down every five seconds.

    Guys, either say it or STFU. Seriously.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    and to be serious for a moment, yeah I tend to want to do stuff with people I care about. I don't care what, which causes problems.
    Yeah... I guess a combination of being more available for when they want to do something with you (rather than giving mom/dog/etc related excuses or just not answering your phone because you "don't feel like talking"), and suggesting something to do with them that you know they'll enjoy, would be a winning strategy. Actually you know P's don't like making decisions much, so if the other person's a P then part of the stress might be because they feel like you're always forcing them to make the decisions by 'not minding' what you do.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  10. #40
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    wait what? you mean most people don't what "circle circle mailbox bird open mailbox letter tree herd!!!" means??
    Simple. It means "Hitme with a large hammer until this stupid stuff gets out of my head".
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    and to be serious for a moment, yeah I tend to want to do stuff with people I care about. I don't care what, which causes problems.
    What about those people you only phone cause you're bored and they feed you and don't complain when you go on and on about whatever comes into your head? Are those people you care about?
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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