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  1. #61
    Senior Member Griffi97's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tovlo View Post
    Noting this thread is dominated by INFJ's expressing self-hatred...

    That's an interesting observation. As for the stuff I posted, it's mostly just things I've heard other people say about me (moreso very close friends and family rather than casual friends), and they seem frustrated by those things. I really don't feel any self-hatred over them. It's sometimes hard for me to understand why other people get frustrated with me. Maybe this thread will shed some light on that.

    At any rate, I'm proud of the person I am, and I think there's a lot to love here. Sorry, it's the Hate an INFJ thread, carry on with the criticisms!

  2. #62
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    Default finally got through !_!

    Quote Originally Posted by tovlo View Post
    Really?

    By using the term passive resistance are you are refering to Gandhi's philosophy and practice of Satyagraha?

    If so, how does choosing not to inflict violence upon one's opponent, but rather exercising patience and sympanthy, realizing what appears to be truth to one may appear to be error to the other, exist outside the realm of what an INFJ's manner of working could be?
    Nope. I merely meant by passive resistance, that one isn't *doing* anything by being passive - by not being active/Fe-ing to 'organize', so it doesn't seem an INFJ would use it as a first choice of getting their point across. And that isn't to say that by not choosing so, that an INFJ is willing to inflict violence against someone. I shall continue below~

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyraining View Post
    Would you passively resist? Or something else?

    Just fuel for thought.
    That's what I was, in my sleepy-drunken haze, getting at. I can't see INFJs as passively resisting, in that they'd *Fe* out and try to tell people what they *should* do, even if wrongly, whereas INFPs are more likely to show by example and not push people. Live, let live.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer
    Ghandi seemed to be an INFJ. He was actually a very self-disciplined taskmaster with very stringent guidelines for himself and his followers. His rigidity seemed to show up in the external world, even if internally he had lots of vision about how the world could be. Just... amazing how controlled he had his life, and down to a script. (No WAY an INFP could have survived more than a few days in that setting, the Ne needs far more flex -- but that was his life.)
    INFPs can be very self-disciplined, with their beliefs and ideals, for sure. If he had his life down to a script, as you say, then that doesn't seem INFJ to me either. INFJs aren't, or I wouldn't consider them to be, eh, so controlling that they'd have their life down to a script. Sure, disciplined, but not so rigidly so, or for an incredibly extended amount of time...

    That's okay. Even INFJs can be wrong sometimes.
    Whatchu talking about?! Bite your tongue!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Nope. He was an INFJ. I think you are getting ENFJs mixed up with INFJs. We don't "rally up" people. We live by our own principles and expect others to do so also. That was the epitome of Gandhi. "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Fe is about diplomacy, not organizing people.
    Nope, not mixing them up. When I meant rally, I didn't mean it with high energy, if that's what you're thinking. I meant that we'd tell others what they should do, that they should get involved. Fe IS about organizing people as well. It's a Judging Function.


    SH. Fluffed, I think not. What happened was what silly INFJs do! We found a new point to play with, focused on it and made a serious discussion with others to play with as well! We should split this thread, yea. And continue discussing Gandhi's potential Type, if people are up to it. Who knows, maybe there can be other types people can argue for?!

    Somewhat aside, I can sooner see Hitler as an INFJ than Gandhi one...

  3. #63
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    My SO is INFJ and has not many faults but the one's she has are big ones:
    * Extreme lack of tolerance. It's mostly black and white and once they've decided, that's it. I thought my J was bad, compared to INFJs it's a walk in the park.
    * Internalises people's behaviour and takes things far too personally.
    * Becomes highly irrational in arguments they feel passionately about. Consequently look foolish and loose the argument for all the wrong reasons.
    * Can never justify their intuition. This extends to immediately disliking people for reasons you'll never fathom. Can't get their head around the idea of rapor - you don't have to take a shine to someone to lower yourself to speaking to them.
    * Stressed INFJs are mere blubbering blobs of jelly. I seriously doubt whether they can deal with extreme pressure and capitulate quickly in scenarios NTs would simply find amusing or challenging... funerals, redundancies, illness!

    I love 'em none the less! ^~

  4. #64
    Junior Member sunnyraining's Avatar
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    Wouldn't you just love a time machine right about now? *pops back into the past to inquire Gandhi's type* *pops back to the present* Yep! :P
    (I wouldn't do it for Hitler though unless you want to be shot at by the SS ).

    Anyway to roll the thread back to it's core:

    I haven't met many other INFJs so I'll bag out myself -
    - Awkward silences in social situations until I try to break ice with something absurdedly high minded or deep (because I can think of nothing else). Usually people run away about then, making me feel like an idiot
    - Tend to fight tooth and nail for things I believe in with rational arguments albeit supported mostly by generalisations with a touch of naivete - conflicts are rare though
    - Am often the fence sitter and am indecisive when it comes to everyday things; matters that matter are a totally different story
    - Am sometimes aloof and seemingly distant; can go for extended periods of solitude (which is a good thing) until loneliness sets in (it happens eventually) and then extended periods of brooding

  5. #65
    Senior Member Motor Jax's Avatar
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    i know this girl that plays on the pool league that i do

    anyways, observing her mannerisms and such, i believe her to be an INFJ

    and she's quite a bit aloof, other than that though, i don't have a problem


    myself, i tend to stick to my guns

    and argue that my position is right, though i cannot say why. it's just there

  6. #66
    Senior Member Motor Jax's Avatar
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    oh, and i don't really care for the specifics, i just want the whole picture

  7. #67
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Unless they are in "humour mode" (which is inevitably contextually appropriate) they are a pretty humourless bunch. "Humour mode" does not appear to be the default mode. Some INFJs seem to lack it altogether, although the type is hardly unique in this.

    And that bloodyminded drive for closure in areas of disagreement can be very wearing. They can't seem to agree to disagree until they have 1) had the last word (and not just any last word - a satisfyingly decisive last word) or 2) phrased your agreement to disagree as an agreement for you to willfully choose to ignore all sense and wallow in wrong-minded, selfish and morally-abhorrent ignorance.

    Still, "hate" is a strong word. Those are the 2 main things that irritate me about INFJs.

  8. #68
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sexist View Post
    This was my biggest problem with the one i dated, I even showed her MBTI tests and after she was able to read about herself she still wouldnt open up. Its clearly states in several definitions of INFJ's that their biggest fault is the "shell" that they form around themselves and how all it will do is hold them back. She liked MBTI and thought it made perfect sense and clearly depicted her but even then she refused to open up to me, and as an ENFP in an intimate relationship this drove me almost insane and caused me to break up with her.
    Well, yes, having a shell is probably the trait of an INFJ that bothers some people the most. However, I honestly don't think it is a bad thing, and I don't recall it being the INFJ's biggest fault. I believe their cardinal fault is having high (or "idealistic") expectations for themselves and others. Having high expectations for myself causes me to close off information about myself because I don't know if I am able to live up to those expectations and I don't want to be seen as a hypocrite. Introverts in general require certain degrees of privacy, anyways. I don't find it surprising that she didn't "open up" when you called it to her attention. Those kinds of things take time and must happen naturally to have the effect you want. If she was anything like me, it probably made her close herself up even more.

    But yeah, some of the bad things listed are actually things I'm slightly proud of. I've gone from being timid and awkward to being more comfortable in my own skin, which has allowed me to have enough confidence in myself to hold firm beliefs that I stick to. Sometimes I even feel like my stubbornness isn't noticeable enough .

    The one thing I do that makes me kick myself often is that I often turn down people's offers to go to a party or go do something off campus. Sometimes I question how much good my "alone time" really does me. It seems like people who are more open to those kinds of fun are... happier? I don't know.

    But yeah. INFJs are lame.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  9. #69
    Senior Member Dark Razor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    [...]
    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    [...]
    Awww, whenever I read one of you guys' post I want to hug you real tight .

    Damn, now I have fluffed up this thread, again.

    I may post some of our so called "negative" traits later on.

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by bananatrombones View Post
    * Stressed INFJs are mere blubbering blobs of jelly. I seriously doubt whether they can deal with extreme pressure and capitulate quickly in scenarios NTs would simply find amusing or challenging... funerals, redundancies, illness!
    I think I manage when it comes to impersonal stress; not great, but I can handle it. The stress of unhappy interpersonal relations is a different story, though.

    As a teacher, every day I work to develop the ability to stay cool and in control. It's difficult for me. The best way so far is just to shut down the Fe entirely--to quit caring about anyone or anything. It feels like slaying my soul, however, and is definitely taking its toll outside of the classroom. I'm not convinced it's worth the lingering consequences in the long run. There are some things I just suck at, and not caring is one of them.

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